The essence of Uber, revealed! (498 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -1.21 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by eric <eastman1.at.adelphia.net> (View user info) at 2004-07-05 14:38:55 EDT
something I've noticed while sifting through the shit on this site are the similarities between most posts. They all contain one of a few select things making them a valid and good submission. So in an attempt to make the best post ever i'm going to combine these known elements to score some uber points with a bunch of losers who hate themselves(you) and suck at life(you).
Element 1. Randomness- The surprising nature of some posts lead to their awesomeness, I must admit seeing posts about shit like jon perry: galactic warrior princess makes me happy. So part I is the randomness post.
Title: That black guy from predator
text:
Honestly who is a bigger bad ass than that black guy from predator. Often confused for other black actors, namely Billy Dee Williams, Carl Weathers dominates a lot harder and is not a total fag. Its pretty sweet when his arm gets blown off but he still takes it like a man (since his arm keeps firing even after being detached from his body [this is because he is such a bad ass his natural finger motion is that of pulling a trigger, fuck he is sweet])
Element 2. Controversy- If said post isnt supposed to be random it should contain some controvery or something that will at least inspire mild disagreement. I will use the above topic but with controvery in mind.
Title: That black guy from pradator
text: I hate that nigger
Element 3. Internet conversations of some sort. People give us a glimpse into their lives by posting something they wrote to a buddy online.
Title: what I did for the fourth
AntiFlagSD (11:17:47 AM): all these haoles that dress like they love music, know shit about it(some whores)
AntiFlagSD (11:20:37 AM): the waves are so shitty (its 1-2 for the fourth day in a row)
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:26:28 AM): yup
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:26:52 AM): seriously im so glad i beat that one chick senseless and then drank over her motionless haole body (She deserved it for being such a haole sloid)
AntiFlagSD (11:26:59 AM): seriously
AntiFlagSD (11:27:01 AM): that was loc ("loc" meaning local as in awesome)
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:27:09 AM): way loc
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:27:26 AM): especially when that one guy was trying to stop me so i ate him (I am able to do this because I am a vampire surf ninja, obviously)
AntiFlagSD (11:28:58 AM): i cant believe I destroyed a door last night (this part is true)
AntiFlagSD (11:29:03 AM): it doesnt lock or shut now
AntiFlagSD (11:29:07 AM): and its cracked
AntiFlagSD (11:29:12 AM): and they just bought the house
AntiFlagSD (11:29:13 AM): haha
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:29:15 AM): yeah
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:29:35 AM): i just remember walkin in and seeing everyone standing around a bathroom door
Dumb Meat Head74 (11:29:37 AM): pretty sweet (it was, really)
Element 4. Abrupt random endings.
Carl Weathers loves you all
http://www.cinefania.com/pics/personas/1/1228.jpg (0 bytes) [application/octet-stream]
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-26 23:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90973
Fantasy Football, wooo!!!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-07-26 23:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-07 23:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Jon Perry
Submitted by Rob at 2004-07-05 20:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know.
Submitted by XtremeMooCow (user info) at 2004-07-05 18:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If this post apparently has the essence of good posts, why am I -1'ing it...hmmm...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-05 18:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by danieldandy (user info) at 2004-07-05 18:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
if carl weathers loves me, then i love you.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-05 17:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was as good as a Tom post.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-07-05 17:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus two for anything with Jon Perry in it.
Submitted by blackflames667 (user info) at 2004-07-05 16:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This seems like the best rating you will get, and by standards it is appropriate, but i find it to be true.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-05 16:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
element 4, being here longer than 3 seconds and making judgements
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-07-05 16:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No mention of getting spaffed up the nostril. Shocking oversight on your part.
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
mmmhmm yup.
Submitted by Vampire_Surf_Ninja (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
a perfect example
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37039
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you don't know me!
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh I get it, HAHAHAHA
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-05 14:56:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There's this song that's all over the radio these days where in the chorus it goes "I've had enough of you today."
That song is pretty accurate in describing how I feel about you as stemming from this post, however, I'll paraphrase it a bit to make it an even more accurate description of my thoughts on your behalf:
"Die"
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-07-05 14:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, I'm about a half-hour late with this.
I know, I know... friggin' women, they're always late...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-05 14:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee, thanks for explaining!
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-07-05 14:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So thats what I was doing wrong!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-07-05 14:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope it's less than that.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-05 14:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This oist will be raining with -2's in about five minutes.