Journey to the land of the cloth heads - a stowaway's journal (814 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MonsieurPrickle (View user info) at 2004-07-06 04:55:31 EDT
They seem to have forgotten all about Richard Howard. Which is good, as there's not much left of him now. Most of the bones have been gnawed clean by me or the rats.
To be frank, I actually prefer rat meat. But Richard, being all trussed up, was much easier to snack on than those agile little rodents. Plus I really was quite offended when he screamed "Gollum!" that first time I had approached him down here in the bilge.
Mind you, I dare say I am a bit gollumesque after so many days in this dank, dark place. It's probably my imagination, but there does actually seem to be a little bit of webbing developing between my fingers and toes.
Hopefully I won't have to hide much longer. I've been sneaking onto the upper decks while those fools sleep, reading through their journals.
I don't think shandy's tyrannical rule can continue much longer. He's obsessed by pornnugget (understandably, she's so fecund I can smell her from down here), he underestimates that duplicitous apullo, and insanethemind is sure to cause trouble when he wakes from his latest valium coma. I don't know how they're going to play it, but sooner or later there will be mutiny.
And by god I'll be there to help put the boot in. The way shandy slandered me about my so-called 'messianic complex' and refused me a place aboard ship can never be forgiven. His hurt feelings when I won the Royal Photography Award he coveted so badly are no excuse, and I will show no mercy when the time comes.
User Reviews
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-11-19 02:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
test
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-09-04 20:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't believe I never reviewed this. I've read it at least four times.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-04 17:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrPrickle (user info) at 2004-07-06 17:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 11:32:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
He's NOT a retard????
Damn, well I just lost all interest.
---
All's well that ends well!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-06 12:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 11:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's NOT a retard????
Damn, well I just lost all interest.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 11:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fool me??
I knew it!!!
You are really a 40 year old fat man with body odour aren't you??
No wait. That's shandy.
No worries! Back to work!
Submitted by Cindys_Younger_Sister (user info) at 2004-07-06 11:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He isn't a retard porn, he'll see through it eventually.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shandy did it... I had reviewed in my other post that people always like the posts that I write that I don't like that much... and the posts that I really love, people ignore...
True to form, he +2ed the post I didn't like so much!
***
Apollo, I feel a bit odd now, after my confession I just sent you via email. errrr
***
CYS, I'm no slut. In fact, lets leave that subject alone, shall we... I'm trying to fool the Brit into thinking I'm very innocent and nublie.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"""Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:50:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine fuckers. I'll just have to please myself with my 5 minute updates to Apollo.
"""
Ha! i don't dance to your tune!
Go on then just a few.
million
Submitted by Cindys_Younger_Sister (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Big Jism:
they have been warned
Prickle:
steady on old boy, there'll be no fucking stud farm work for me
porn:
you dirty slut!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ah yes, good thinking pickle.
i have always rated you over shandy.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine fuckers. I'll just have to please myself with my 5 minute updates to Apollo.
Submitted by MrPrickle (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought we were going to send CYS to work on the stud farm to fund that?
i won't get on fucking messenger porn nugget because
a) i have to go to sleep
b) i know you are so selfish you will jump straight onto cam without a thought for the medical consequences here in australia. and as it's been 7 DAYS SINCE MY LAST EJACULATION i doubt i would be able to resist your charms despite the potentially fatal backdoor agony that that would await.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh fine, you work shy cunts gab amongst yourselves all day.
SOMEONE HAS TO BRING HOME THE BACON FOR OUR CREATIVE COMMUNE!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you bitches get on Messenger and AIM already? Damn.
Sorry Apollo, you'll be left out- But I will continue with my email updates!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that cunt shandy is on thin ice.
very thin ice.
CYS - tell those motherfuckers big jim will be over to do them if they don't watch themselves.
Submitted by MrPrickle (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that is fucking unbelievable, CYS. except the world is so fucking mad i believe it. this is what i mean about how it's impossible to create fictitious satire that can compete with what happens in the real world.
apollo, obviously it is our DESTINY to overthrow the tyrant! or at least make him behave a bit more nicely.
Submitted by Cindys_Younger_Sister (user info) at 2004-07-06 10:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Message left on my machine today (at 10 AM nonetheless!!) "M__, thanks for calling me back. We can guarantee you won't experience the same thing again, there are many drugs we can give you to make sure you won't wake up before the paralytic wears off."
At that point I pressed delete. That is the second time she has called me (the ECT nurse, but she is basically a sales lady at this point) and it is rather alarming, as I never called her back... they would obviously just give anything to get me back in there so they can fry my brain.
Motherfuckers.
---
On a lighter note, i always thought gollum had 'bedroom eyes.'
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-06 09:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh la la... this is going to play out in a very interesting way.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 06:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did you know???
How the fuck did you know I was going to collude with Prickle??
Eskimo alarm!
This is shaping up brilliantly.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-06 06:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes yes yes.
not read it but woo hoo!!
two posts in as many days, ye gods man you will soon be considered prolific!
now to reading.
to reading!!
(shut up apullo you milk that gag all the time)
Submitted by MrPrickle (user info) at 2004-07-06 04:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this fits in with these other parts by shandy and apollo:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/28726
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29328
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36550
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36565
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37563
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35528
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36354
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35516
but i'm a bit confused by the order