Immortality (315 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: -0.75 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by aliasjxc (View user info) at 2004-07-06 11:33:12 EDT
I put this in the "poetry" category because people around here seem
to blast poetry posts. If you don't like poetry, don't read things that
are classified as poetry. It's that simple.
Anywho, this poem was inspired by all the vampire movies I've seen,
most recently "The Shadow of the Vampire," which is an excellent
film and you should all watch it (if you haven't seen it yet).
The meter is a bit off in some places, so if you want to offer
criticism, you don't need to point that part out.
IMMORTALITY
To the sun we make our true surrender.
We hide ourselves away and admit defeat,
Wishing we could still be what we once were
To watch the sunrise and make no retreat.
What brings life to the world would take ours back
To the heavens. What starts the "day' for man
Brings an end to ours. The firey attack
Puts us in the coffins as God damns
Us to spend our days, and rise at nightfall.
The light we once took for granted is gone.
Now we answer to the pale moon's dark call
And the thirst for life that lasts until dawn.
The shadow of our lost humanity
Is hidden by darkness and eternity.
User Reviews
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-06 12:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's too bad that poetry can't appreciate itself, and instead, I have to see it.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-06 11:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meter's a little bit off? Oh, and poetry doesn't have an icon next to the post, so you should really warn people in the title if you're going to post a poem. Take a look at some users on here who have succeeded with poetry.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/soxsexsax
http://www.ubersite.com/u/spikegoddess
http://www.ubersite.com/u/lojope
There are plenty more of them, but I'm too fucking lazy.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-06 11:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I made up my own version of a teenage angst-filled female poem. Enjoy!
My uncle molested my clit until I was 8,
Then, on the bed of age 14, my dad got me raped,
I was forced to get a pelvic exam by my mother, named Madge,
And the doctor shoved his fist forcefully up my snatch,
It hurt a lot.