"Starbuck's" Lingo and lifestyle is for the self important (352 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tim DeStefano <tdestefano.at.swartzcampbell.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-06 17:21:35 EDT
I don't drink coffee but my wife does and damn do I hate having to say Vendi Carmel Macchiado, no sugur, extra whip. The first time she told me what she wanted I thought I was heading into a museum in Florence. And to add to my angst the 15 year old coffee slinger has to give me grief because I said medium instead of Venti or whatever the fuck its called, well castrate me, but medium applies everywhere else and the dialect of Starbuck's only applies to the fucking strip mall it sits in between Dick's Golf World and a fucking Hallmark store, GET OVER YOURSELVES, it's fucking coffee.
I fully understand that for most people they really like the coffee and are willing to pay more for the self degredation of ordering at a coffee shop (I shouldn't just limit it to Starbuck's) but enough is enough. However, first, the price of a cup of coffee pretty much anywhere in the world is around a dollar and at the most $1.25. I have seen prices on the menu that would cover my lunch for two days in one cup of coffee/esspresso/cappucino, whatever, I don't care if you get an extra shot of breath killer. As a side bar, I smoke cigarettes and coffee breath is a winner, hands down, it's a combo of beans, sugar, and stomach acid, putrid. Secondly, I would like to delve into the type of people that frequent these establishments.
A. I'm too busy for my kids/husband/grocery shopping/shaving my crotch but I have four hours to sit on a sofa in Starbuck's and read the paper and will no doubt bitch about my hectic day when the husband and kids get home.
B. The hectic businessman who is soo busy that he can not belive the fact that the line didn't part so that he can walk up to the front because he is obviosly that important and can't be held up.
C. Teenagers and college kids who all seem quite similar as they all shop at the same three stores; Gap, Old Navy or Abocrombie & Fitch and none of whom own anything else but sandles (doesn't matter what the season is). The reason this bothers me is that not one of these people can actually afford to drink expensive coffee.
Again, this isn't an attack on Starbuck's fans or coffee aficianodos but just a rant that I needed to spill forth so please no coffee comebacks, it's not worth it, please.
But for my fellow coffe detractors out there, this one is for you and the next time that stupid counterperson corrects you and says no it's a Venti, ask her to explain the dialect and root of the word that she/he is asking you to say and ask for an explanation, when they can't ask for a fucking medium.
User Reviews
No reviews