Why I Hate Customer Service (614 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Homsar (View user info) at 2004-07-08 10:28:10 EDT
DISCLAIMER: I'm beginning to notice that the majority of my posts are complete rants, and the only creative inspiration I have stems from my hatred of...well....anything. Plus my life has been boring as fuck lately, so its tough to find subject material.
Anyhow, on with the show:
There is a growing phenomenon here in the U.S. that troubles me so. A silent killer, never mentioned by our government, and yet this epidemic has caused countless death-by-suicide cases over the past few years. Listening to the mumbo jumbo, its quite possible to interpret subliminal messages of "Do it.....do it......do it." No, Im not talking about a backwards Judas Priest album. I speak of none other than foreign customer service representatives.
That's right friends. These telephone terrors have been lurking in the shadows of some creepy Cambodian office building for years, only to be unleashed when all hope is lost, and you are forced to call Dell tech support, or Travelocity customer care.
I have a flight planned to Dallas in about 2 weeks, and after browsing the Travelocity website, I noticed my trip information was not available. Only solution: call customer care. After being completely belittled by an automated voice, because the computer apparently can't understand my strong Kentucky accent, I finally reached the ringing at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Had I known then what I know now, I would've secured myself tightly to a rubber post, far away from any blunt or metal objects. A VERY foreign man answered my call.
ForeignFucker: "Tanku for call travelocity, may I have feirst neim and trip ID noomber."
Like Slipknot, I felt the only escape from pain was to push my fingers into my eyes.
Me: "Um OK the name is Brandon and the ID number is..."
He interrupted me: "OK Mr. Brandon, may I have feirst neim and trip ID number."
I had just been asked and addressed by my name in the same sentence. Shitassdamnfuck.
Along throughout the conversation, I started blacking out and I swear during his slobber-slinging sentences I thought I heard "Hey mein, give me break here, I got a frickin bone through my nose."
Why oh why, if big-name companies hire foreign imbecils, must they place each and every one in customer service, and direct me to one each time I call.
But by far the worst experience ever, was last year when my Dell crashed and I called Dell tech support to see if I had any options left before reformatting. This lady was so foreign I cant even begin to imagine what country she was in. She asked my address, and what happened next was incredible.
Lady: May I have address please?"
Me: Ok its **** 39th Street.
Lady: "Spell IT." with a strong emphasis on the word IT...strange.
Me: "Um...uh...OK its T-H-I-R....man FUCK that, its 3-9-S-T, 39, ST!!"
Lady: "Spell IT."
I was on the phone with her till 4am, mainly because I had to repeat everything twice.
I say we leave Iraq and head for North Korea, at least that will eliminate some of this nonsense.
User Reviews
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had just been asked and addressed by my name in the same sentence. Shitassdamnfuck.
Made me smile
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've only ever found one company that has great telephone help. Wells Fargo bank somehow manages to have helpful and nice people on the line every time, and pretty much no time spent on hold once you get through the automated menus.
Every other company I've ever called makes me want to go postal at their help centers.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I say we leave Iraq and head for North Korea, at least that will eliminate some of this nonsense.
---that will get you a plus 2 from me.
Bleed, you need to find a better walmart. mine gives me cash back all the time - and when i say all the time, i meant the one time i took back a pack of hollow wall screws that were the wrong size
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I work in a call center for the biggest home security company in the world. All of our call centers are baed in the U.S., mine in particular being in the middle of the country. It is frustrating to call some of these companies, I called Delta probably 15 times one night and almost pulled my hair out. However, it is the same on the other side of the phone. Since taking this shitty job, I have talked to the dumbest, slowest people I have ever encountered.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But North Korea has Nukes! they're actually dangerous!
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Scotsman (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:49:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
In the UK they recently de monopolised the directory enquiries numbers. We now have to speak to people who live on the other side of the fucking planet to get my local pizza company number...Feckers!!!
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I refuse to ring any of those arseholes pureply based on the seriously annoying adverts they've all put out.
Submitted by BleedTheSky (user info) at 2004-07-08 11:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This post had greater potential given the subject matter. Anyone every notice how its impossible to get a cash refund from Walmart because it isn't "store policy" to give people their money back when they open up an air conditioner only to realize it doesn't fit in their window yet it doesn't say that on the box? Yeah. The real reason you didn't get a +2 was because you mentioned Slipknot.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:58:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know what you mean. last month i spent 4 and a half hours on the phone with
hewlett packard's tech support which is located in fucking india. it pisses me off
the printer is made in singapore and serviced in india. it's no wonder no one in america
cand find a goddamned job.
Submitted by Scotsman (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the UK they recently de monopolised the directory enquiries numbers. We now have to speak to people who live on the other side of the fucking planet to get my local pizza company number...Feckers!!!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went through this crap trying to order a pay per view the other night. Pity the poor fools who don't have their phone line hooked to their receiver yet.
Submitted by Fuxtick (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are these big companies so cheap? I don't know why they don't understand the importance of putting someone who is actually COHERENT on the phone. I feel your pain.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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