Amazon Hijinks And Pic Of Loren's Body (1627 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.6 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (View user info) at 2004-07-08 14:18:42 EDT
I discovered a new way to pass the time while I'm really bored.
1. Go to http://www.amazon.com.
2. Look up great pieces of work.
3. View all the reviews.
4. Sort by Lowest Rating First.
Citizen Kane -
"It's almost impossible to find anything good about this film. The only good thing about Citizen Kane is that it will put you to sleep faster than any film"
"Please stop the hype on Citizen Kane. It doesn't work. It's like you are trying to convince people that poop smells good. Bad movie is always a bad movie. No matter what you do, it's not gonna change from what it is. Citizen Kane is the movie that every American should be ashamed of. It's overrated and boring. Enough said!"
"Citizen Kane is a hymn to all filmmakers who have ever tried to create something artistic and meaningful and failed miserably every step of the way."
The Beatles - The White Album
"The previous one star reviewer is a crybaby who loves to play the "victim" anytime his favorite band gets bad reviews. Well, too bad. This record gets one star. Not five. Not four. Not three. Not even two. It gets ONE. The big uno! Now, everybody: let's get back to our normal daily lives."
"Please ignore the inarticulate and senseless ramblings of that dork of a five star reviewer. His reviews are being watched closely and will be removed from Amazon promptly. Meanwhile, do everything you can to avoid this trashy double CD. The Beatles were doped up when they recorded "The White Album." Is that enough to make you stay away?"
"This CD looks good in a garbage can.....god awful, what were they thinking??? oh yeah, they were wasted when they recorded this crap.....they werent thinking...."
Moby Dick -
"A while back I started on an idea to read all the world's classic pieces of literature. Honestly, if I started with this book, I would've probably stopped reading forever."
"This book is HORRIBLE! Classic, my eye! I would love to know what's so great about this book. I have seen better writing in a Hallmark card! Boring! Give me a good ole copy of Elvis and Me! A true story that really tugs at your heart strings! I sleep with that one under my pillow! Keep Moby Dick away from my bed!"
"Dont waste your hard earned money on expensive sleeping pills, which can sometimes have dangerous and fatal side effects! Take the safer, easier route to a good nights sleep! Buy this book! It will do the trick, I garuntee."
User Reviews
Submitted by tomato-soup (user info) at 2004-08-06 22:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
she needs to wax her pits
Submitted by AlkalineSolo (user info) at 2004-07-30 00:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow... Those are some nice... breasts. So nice, that I am too caught up to think of anything to substitute that word with.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-09 16:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It means that you'd look good even under those conditions, and the haters know it.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-07-09 08:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Loren could wakeup tomorrow morning, get out of bed, not comb her hair, not put on any makeup, not brush her teeth, not go take that first thing in the morning piss, we're talking funky breath, bedhead, and her eyes not even fully opened yet here, put on a stained pair of baggy sweatpants, take a picture of herself and post it on Uber, and half of you guys would have your wiener out within five seconds of the image loading in your browser. "
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Fetish - I honestly don't know how to take that. Do you mean that even if I looked like a hag people would pretend otherwise, or that you think I'd look good even under those conditions?
?
Pretty funny sentence either way.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-08 21:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Moby Dick really isn't that great, in my opinion anyway. As far as I know, Melville was a primarily a sailor. Then again, I could be wrong.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-08 21:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-07-08 21:06:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:22:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
*yawn* I bet shes a butter face, anyway.
___________
So young and stupid.
Loren is gorgeous.
---
We all know that I'm not a huge fan of Loren, but the truth is this:
Loren could wakeup tomorrow morning, get out of bed, not comb her hair, not put on any makeup, not brush her teeth, not go take that first thing in the morning piss, we're talking funky breath, bedhead, and her eyes not even fully opened yet here, put on a stained pair of baggy sweatpants, take a picture of herself and post it on Uber, and half of you guys would have your wiener out within five seconds of the image loading in your browser.
That is the longest sentence I've ever written. Period.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-07-08 21:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:22:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
*yawn* I bet shes a butter face, anyway.
___________
So young and stupid.
Loren is gorgeous.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 18:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:25:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Where does it say that this is me?
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In the title
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where does it say that this is me?
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:47:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
You just better hope that Loren is okay with this
-----------------
"I've respected that picture three times already." - me
After what I just wrote I'm sure she will.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You just better hope that Loren is okay with this.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Give the woman some respect, I thought you were her friend." - William_Q_Percy
I've respected that picture three times already.
I have so much respect for her that I dare not photoshop this little gem.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
loren. ahhhhhhh...
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now for what I think about the picture:
You really took that Foreigner picture to heart, didn't you?
If that really is Loren, and you're posting it for revenge... come on man. Why would you do that? You've got a good enough imagination and photoshop skills to make fun of her in a way that's not showing off her body to all of Uber. Give the woman some respect, I thought you were her friend.
Even if it isn't her, its the thought that counts.
Boo.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
bad lsm, bad.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the girl =D
Mighty devious trick you've got there.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's the second review your asking for a booty call with Will... whore.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SPT lives again.
Why are you guys complaining about her boobs? Besides, she has a really nice tummy.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
loren,
if that really is you...when are we FINALLY going to hook up?
-zone
Submitted by buxton (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mody Dick really did blow ass.... 150 pages until they got on a boat, and chapters upon chapters about whale tails and shit like that. BORING.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're such a weirdo.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's Awesome.
Huckleberry Finn:
This is incredible. I cannot believe that this book has been hailed as a masterpiece, and has a secure spot in the literary canon. I mean, what is the deal? Did Mr. Twain fall asleep in Grammar class? I mean the story is good enough. Pap is a fun character. But I am absolutely flabbergasted by Twain's prose style. It is just sloppy writing. Maybe if he had looked in a dictionary a little more often he wouldn't come off as a dumb hick from the South (I believe he is from somewhere in Mississippi, I don't know some "M" state).
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Smoking body.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is that really loren? Cause if so, im pretty pissed at myself for not trying to get her drunk and take advantage of her at the Ubercon.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
loren has a nice bod.... for an old broad! damn i'm clever... but i'd do her, oh yes I would, and she would never sit the same.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No, just no. That pic saved you from a -2.
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*yawn* I bet shes a butter face, anyway.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mmmm... boobies...
Oh, wait, writing, too??? Oh joy!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
could use bigger boobs
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice body. What? there was writing above that?
Um...What?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-08 14:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Id fuck her.