Rock Bottom Part 4 (The Meaning of Life) (790 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <murphydog5.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-08 17:03:42 EDT
Steve is a large man, with a big fat gut, who takes big lumbering steps in his steel-toed boots. He is the swing-shift foreman. And he hates people from Labor Ready, you can just tell. Many people from Labor Ready hate themselves already. So what.
So far, and this is after a long, hard, forty hour week, Steve has said two things to me. Okay he's only actually said one thing- the other was implied. The implied acknowledgement to my existence on this planet was a gesture to remind me to wear my safety goggles. He got my attention and tapped his own goggles. I put mine on. Later I heard him remind another prole to put his goggles on. He said, "you know, I've just had to drive TOO MANY people to the hospital cuz they got shit in their eyes. Do it again, and I'll write you up, okay?" The other thing he said to me was, "next time come in when the second bell rings."
Swing shift at Tube Specialties is from 3:30pm to midnight. After work, I drive two fellow LRE's home. Tonight, bored with the lack of conversation and feeling like really talking to real PEOPLE- not a computer screen or blank sheet of paper or myself, I told these two men, Chuck and Mickey, what I personally believe to be the meaning of life from a non-superstitious perspective. It was one sentence, written, long.
This is what I do at Tube Specialties, every day, for 450 hours: I pinch steel pipes between a clamp, cut them with a jizz-dripping blade, round off the edges with something called a deburring tool- which is nothing more than a dentist's drill times three, stack them and repeat this process over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And over again.
I'm twenty three years old. When I was eighteen and dreaming all the time, this wasn't in my dreams. Don't get me wrong, I still dream. In the day time, especially at work, I have good dreams and bad dreams. Good dreams literally make me laugh, right there in the middle of a pipe-cut. Bad dreams make me think about having a beer after work.
A good dream might be about what exactly the substance is that they use at this machine shop to cool the blades. The machine that I work on resembles and oversized band-saw and, in order to keep the blade cool, a creamy white substance drools on the blade during each cut.
This substance is human jizz. It was invented by accident, but has completely revolutionized the business of pipe-cutting. In 1984, post Industrial-Revolution, a man by the name of Cumspot was cutting steel pipes in his garage. Between each cut, he would smoke a cigar or whack off, to kill time in order to let the blade cool. One time, at Saw Shop, he was jerking it when he realized that the blade was still running! "NOOOO," he thought, as he climaxed and shot jizz fucking everywhere. Prepared for the blade to overheat and be ruined indefinitely, he covered his eyes with his jizz-sopped hands. He was expecting the hear the snap of a hot blade breaking but instead he heard the sound of a nice clean cut. Perplexed, he look at the pipe. It was dripping with human jizz. Cumspot declared, "ah ha!" One year later- well, let's just say he never had to cut pipes again. Or use his right hand.
A bad dream might be about where I'll end up. I'd like to think this whole thing is a big joke. But really, it's not. I'm certainly not doing this to laugh. I am, however, trying to laugh in order to do this.
I wonder about where I'll be in exactly one year. Early July, 2005, assuming that terrorists don't code red this place! Will I still be cutting pipes and drinking a lot of beer to mask the fact that I'm a fucking pipe-cutter? Will I publish something and label myself a writer, having taken the advise of a few people that said I might have something to say after all? Will I have received that phone call from somebody who's destined to be with me and who will carry me off to a place where I can at last find true happiness? Will my Mother actually sustain eye-contact with me when she talks and will she ever be proud of her son?
Let me tell you all something I've learned. There is no phone call and the only person whom you're responsible for making happy is yourself. I think this is pretty important- maybe the most important thing I've ever said, so I'll say it again. There is no phone call and the only person whom you're responsible for making happy is yourself. That one is MINE!
For aspiring writers, here's the most important thing I've ever learned, and this isn't mine- it comes from my hero. He says that the biggest mistake aspiring writers make is assuming that what you know and what you have to say is not interesting to another person. When I read that I said, "whoa," and I started writing. And I haven't stopped since. Read Kurt Vonnegut Jr. if you liked that.
Another thing that is all mine mine mine. Talking to Chuck and Mickey tonight in my car, I asked them if they were religious. I wanted to know how they carried on, and so forth. One was Catholic, the other Christian.
Go fucking figure!
They asked me which one I was, Catholic or Christian. "Neither," I said.
Chuck, the guy from Ghana, West Africa, said, "well, den, what do you believe in?" I said myself.
They both laughed. Religious people know better, and in all honesty, I envy their ability to believe in more life after this one. My opinion: This one's enough! Keep in mind that we ALL work for Labor Ready. I just assume that superstitious people don't enjoy sleeping as much as I do. I get pissed off if I can only sleep for eight hours. Seriously, I'm miserable to be around!
"Here's what I think," I said. "The meaning of life is to make serious and honest connections with other human beings." They agreed.
Our two ten-minute and one half-hour breaks at Tube Specialties are dictated by an annoying bell that goes "BOOOP." We have exactly ten minutes to fire down a smoke and chug a bottle of soda. When I say exactly, I mean it. We have to be in our work station by the time the second bell goes off. How did I get here, I wonder? A BELL!! And why do I think I'm better than this? Is it a defense mechanism? Is it that or submission and acceptance? Try accepting this when you're incapable of believing that poor people get rich in the sky after this life! I should note that Tube Specialties is non-union.
We can thank labor unions for our weekends and overtime pay. If you're lucky enough to be in a labor union that isn't all bureaucratic and a business in itself, as some labor unions have become, you can thank whoever organized it for providing a living-wage.
During one of our breaks, I asked a full-time employee why there was no union. He told me never to say that word again. He said that every person he knew that had worked there and so much as whispered that filthy word disappeared. Their names and entire lives were switched with somebody else's at the Ministry of Truth but a guy named Winston. They were ERASED. I'm just kidding about that part. After all, we aren't slaves to the government, as suggested in Orwell's book. We're slaves to the dollar bill.
My favorite thing to do at work is pinch these bright orange ear-plugs between my fingers, jam them in my ears, and wait for them to expand and blot out all sound. I've had over forty hours of time to think about a good analogy to explain what happens when these things blow up in my ears. It's the audio equivalent of standing up real fast and seeing black and stars.
As always, thanks for reading.
Murphy
User Reviews
Submitted by settle (user info) at 2004-07-11 23:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I still come back to uber to read your writing.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-07-09 17:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sort of Bukowski-ish.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2004-07-09 16:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh isn't that interesting, Zoidberg. I test with Portland Police in two weeks. And I stand a pretty good chance (I did the "Explorer" thing when I was a teen, for a couple years, and I've got a great resume for that kind of work).
What I mean by making serious and honest connections with other people is basically just having REAL friends. If you think back to all your most pleseant memories, do they all involve spending time with other people? Of course people will pursue money and so forth in order to have economic security and one less thing to worry about, but nothing beats that feeling of being "at home" which is what people experience when they have serious and honest connections with other people. Since their is no objective purpose to this whole thing, we might as well hold each other's hands, so to speak, and get through it together.
I don't wish to comment publically on that right now, Mick. I'll just say that Mothers don't think about their children when they have them; they think about themselves and what a wonderful little project that child will be. And when that child doesn't produce what was invested in them, stupid parents take responsibility.
Thanks for the positive feedback everyone.
Murphy
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-07-09 12:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:19:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
As always, thanks for writing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-09 10:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you mean by serious and honest connection?
Submitted by CaptainStach (user info) at 2004-07-09 10:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy your work.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-07-09 10:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds to me like the work you are doing is more important than you know, Murph.
Sounds like maybe you are exactly where you need to be.
The only thing is, if you are calling this "rock bottom" and still not accepting the reality of where you are and what you are doing . . . are you really there yet? I don't have an answer for that, just throwing it out for you to think about.
What I can say is that there really is nothing better than good old fashioned manual labor for getting one's head in order. When your hands are occupied with routine tasks, your mind is free to wander to the most unexpected places, or, if directed, to focus on things you might not ordinarily spend enough time contemplating. I was a janitor for two years in college, and looking back, that was a VERY important stepping stone to where I am now.
I knew that I was not destined to stay where I was, and I had the time to figure out where I REALLY wanted to be and how to get there.
Call me superstitious, but I think you may have had a blessing fall into your lap, you just need to realize it as such.
Now get back to work Murph, the second bell is about to ring.
Submitted by oarsomespumante (user info) at 2004-07-09 07:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can kinda relate to this.
I just cant write...
Submitted by vergedor (user info) at 2004-07-09 07:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't quit your day job.
Submitted by vex (user info) at 2004-07-09 03:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great work.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-07-08 23:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I could be an idiot and say "Hey, that must be your dream job if jism is spurting out of pipes all day!", but I won't. I will say that I really enjoy reading your stuff and If you continue, life will eventually get better for you.
Keep on writing. It's good for you.
Submitted by Rob at 2004-07-08 23:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude you are my favorite writer here. Look, straight 2's. Everytime I read your stories it's like I'm reading a book or something, except I enjoy it. Keep it up.
+2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-07-08 20:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-07-08 19:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what I think.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-07-08 19:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will my Mother actually sustain eye-contact with me when she talks and will she ever be proud of her son?
what is the problem with you and your mom?
I am curious. if you dont want to explain, thats cool, i understand.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-07-08 19:09:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take it for what it is, an experience.
I work for the police department now that I'm back home, entering in police reports for 8 hours every shift.
While it can be interesting, fuck is it ever boringggggggggg. And low pay. But it helps my chances of getting into the academy in January (mmmm I'll be a sexy cop)
Also, because I'm so damned bored my creative juices have been revved up, I've been writing a lot. This job is doing the same for you, so use the experience and go with it
Submitted by bmf-er <btg> at 2004-07-08 19:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a hero of mine Murph. I wish I could meet you some day.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-07-08 18:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my boyfriend works union construction and makes fun of the Labor Ready guys. This is Southern California so they're pretty much all Mexicans..
Good story, sorry you're so hard on your luck right now.
Join a union
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, man. Everything will get better.
Submitted by cowstastegood (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've read everything in this series so far, and enjoyed them all. It's very well done.
Submitted by Dashal (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't settle for pinching steel pipes.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey dude, chin up! Eveyting gets easier. Trust me.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i concur.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, what do you view as a "serious and honest connection with [another] human being" Murphy?
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just wondering when we'd get another update.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As always, thanks for writing.