So I Tried to Anally Invade My Girlfriend (Slightly NSFW) (2321 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.65 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Marty Rainer <RainerLagStyle.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-09 05:14:10 EDT
The title explains it all.
She fell asleep after a hard day of denying me anal at 2AM.
I couldn't sleep next to that tight little ass, because it starts talking to me. "What makes her pussy better than ME?! Are you denying equality to all holes? HOLIST"
Hey, the hole had a point. Who was I to deny pleasure to all holes? Who was I, I ask you!?
A dumbfuck, that's who.
I snuck stealthily into bed, on her blind side like I learned in so many Metal Gear Solid games. Also, because that's where her ass is. She had no clue.
I slid her thong down...and there it was. Her glorious, now with 2 inches less coverage, ass. And what an ass it was. I could barely contain myself. I was going to have some fun! Just like in the porn videos where the guy has sex with a girl who sleeps naked! I always found it strange that she smiled in her sleep at the right moments, but one can overlook it.
It was mine. Booty for the taking.
I pried apart her luscious buttcheeks...and I slid in for home.
"1/8th there, good buddy...c'mon...slow and steady wins the race..."
"Probably should have lubed up before this."
"Shit...I'm stuck."
"Maybe if I go a little deeper...no...she won't notice..."
"Fuck! She's rustling! Abort! Abort!"
I began to pull out; perhaps a little faster than I should have.
That's when it happened.
She awoke with a scream, and for some reason, she felt the need to move her ass backwards, along with the rest of her body.
"FUCK! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ASS YOU FUCKING PIG! FUCK! IT HURTS! FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK!"
Shit. I've been found out.
"..I can't. I have to go deeper to get out."
"WHAT THE FUCK? HURRY UP THEN YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!"
Well, who am I to refuse? I went deeper. Apparently that didn't feel too good.
She jumped off me. Those knees sure are powerful. Guess being a cheerleader has its benifits.
"What in the FUCK were you thinking? I was ASLEEP and I already fucking told you NO!"
"...Your ass told me to," I said as I stood up on my bed to grab my pants off the top of the dresser.
That's when my ass took a beating.
She punched me. In the kidney.
She PUNCHED me.
I don't know who the fuck taught this girl how to punch, but they're going to die. She hit me with all the force put into her knuckles as humanly possible.
I fell headfirst into a stand holding a bunch of old basketball medallions, making horribly loud ringing noises and giving me a headache.
"Don't try it again, you fucking idiot."
"Yes, ma'am."
I write this as she lay asleep in the bed next to me. I'm sitting on ice and a pillow.
Oh Uber, love hurts.
User Reviews
Submitted by woody (user info) at 2004-07-10 13:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...Your ass told me to,"...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-09 18:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-09 06:39:19 (#)
Ranking: 1
+0 Too much dialogue. I can't follow that.
+1 I'd suck the piss out of all four of the girls in the pic.
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Maybe Fetish is a bit.. slow?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-09 12:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/15316
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-09 12:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Yes' comment
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-07-09 12:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. You're a moron. +2 cuz you got your ass handed to you... by a girl.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-07-09 11:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dumbass, use LUBE and ROPES
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-09 10:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
isn't that some sort of rape...
no you were in the right
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-09 10:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by glasscpp (user info) at 2004-07-09 10:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was simply classic - thanks for the laugh!
cheers,
glasscpp
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-09 09:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha you got your ass beat by a girl
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-09 08:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-07-09 07:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-07-09 05:27:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
She's sleeping with her mouth open.
Revenge is sweet; or so girls tell me.
Pick the moment, pick the moment..
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Judging by his girl's reactions, that sounds like a great way to get his dick bitten off...
Submitted by Suga (user info) at 2004-07-09 07:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wassa!!
Boy go download the movie :The Ultimate guide to anal sex.
After watching that movie you know how to handle her ass!!!
Respect
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-07-09 07:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You'd do her...
... in the pooper!
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-07-09 07:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-09 06:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+0 Too much dialogue. I can't follow that.
+1 I'd suck the piss out of all four of the girls in the pic.
Submitted by anSiarach (user info) at 2004-07-09 06:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Aphrodite (user info) at 2004-07-09 06:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL that was funny. Try using some of that lube that numbs her anus, so it won't hurt so much. Since it seems like I'm the only female in the world who doesn't understand the joys of anal sex, I asked around about it. Turns out I was using the wrong lube when I tried it.
At least, from what I've been told. I haven't tried it with the different lube yet :P
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-07-09 05:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the one on the right is asking for it, if you know what i mean
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-07-09 05:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dope
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-07-09 05:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She's sleeping with her mouth open.
Revenge is sweet; or so girls tell me.
Pick the moment, pick the moment..
Submitted by PurpleTurkey (user info) at 2004-07-09 05:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let me be the first to say: You are a moran. Even a 10 year old kid knows that you have to use lube!