Now that’s what I call a “Sticky Situation” (1372 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.83 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fig Nuts (View user info) at 2004-07-09 14:07:42 EDT
Several years ago, when my "soon to be" (stb) wife lived with her parents, I managed to get into what I would call a "sticky situation". As I was exiting the bathroom after a shower, I walked past my stb wife's room and saw her making the bed.
She was on her knees facing away from me, trying to tuck the fitted sheet under the far side of the mattress. This meant her big 'ol behind was sticking up and waving invitingly in the air (I like big butts and I can not lie!). I have this thing, well... this fetish, where I dig biting a woman's ass. Not to hard, not too soft, just a nice big bite. My stb wife is cool with this and had grown accustom to it over the course of our dating.
So with my cat like reflexes and ninja skill, I sneak up behind her, teeth bared and take a bite. To my surprise my stb wife's mother turns around with a look of shock and horror on her face!
My whole body flushed red, and I felt like I just shot Old Yeller. I fumbled out a few words telling her I thought it was her daughter's ass. I really don't think that went over too well either. I backpedaled out the door and stumbling on some shoes. I reached down to grab my clothes only to accidentally drop the towel that was covering me from the rest of the world. Due to the excitement of thinking I was biting my stb wife's ass, and the heavy blood flow of embarrassment, I was partially erect. I ran to the end of the hall and got dressed as fast as possible.
I marched downstairs and immediately told her husband what just happened. I'd much rather he heard it from the horses mouth than his wife of 12 years! Luckily, he laughed his head off. They still tease me about it to this day. My mother-in-law is pretty cool and progressive. She'll often bend down in front of me when I first greet her during the holidays and ask me if I'd like to give her a quick bite.
I found out later that my middle-aged mother-in-law was actually kind of thrilled to have someone mistake her butt for that of a 22-year-old.
User Reviews
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-07-09 16:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha, funnee.
Submitted by Lost_Gator_Fan (user info) at 2004-07-09 16:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Short Fun Story, GJ
LGF
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-07-09 16:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2.
Love,
Peepoepoewitz
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-09 15:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummm! Bite me baby! Yeah!
Submitted by cowstastegood (user info) at 2004-07-09 15:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff. Sounds like you did ok in the in-laws department.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-09 15:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Saw almost the exact same thing on Son-in-Law a decade ago.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny story=+2. Was that so hard?
Submitted by alfa_veloce <avi02.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-09 14:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fun stuff.
Submitted by glasscpp (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just feel lucky that she wasn't wearing a miniskirt and ya slipped her a quicky....
Good show nonetheless!
cheers,
glasscpp
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny story
Submitted by DaBaddestHic (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, what I would have given to see the look on her face!
Submitted by SAECULUM.AUREUM (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by me at 2004-07-09 14:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahaha. I know, it's shallow laughing at other's expense but... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Submitted by Casus_Belli (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, spank dat ass, mad stylez.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Biter of all ass (+2)
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So... What did momz ass taste like?
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Teehee...
Submitted by johnnyno (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I call Shenanigans, but it was an awesome fucking story. I mean don't get me wrong, I really hope it happened and all because that is really fucking funny. Kudos
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, oh my Lord. That's the best thing I've heard all week. How debarrasing.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(I like big butts and I can not lie!).
+2 for a sir Mix-a-lot lyric.