I have an Attitiude Problem... (589 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.46 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by plushpeach <kristineethomas.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-09 14:20:46 EDT
xApparently I have a shitty attitude about work. Or at least this is the message I received after my boss set up a meeting to discuss my 'potential'.
Let me set the stage for you.
It was last week. At five O'clock on Thursday my supervisor comes up to me and announces that she needs to see me in her office. My animal like sixth sense was immediately alerted to the impending danger. My nose twitched with the smell of doom in the air. Actually I think it was her perfume but I digress.
As she sat behind her desk the ever annoying, always perky woman gazed up at me with her empty, drug-induced, happy smile I felt my heart sink faster that the Titanic.
"Hiya Kristine!" *Imagine this said with the voice of a chipmunk on speed.
Me: "Uh... hi."
Chipmunk: "Sit down, sit down, sit down!" for some reason known only to whatever deity she worships she feels the need to repeat herself at least three times. ALWAYS three times, not twice, never four times, but three.
Chipmunk: "Well, I'll get right to the point. You see Kristine; we feel that job fulfillment is very important. Are you following me?" Chipmunk also has a habit of being very condescending.
Me: "Um, sure?"
Chipmunk: "Good, good, good! You see we feel that you are, well, you aren't reaching your potential. You do want to reach your potential don't you?"
Me: "Yes."
Chipmunk: "Excellent, excellent, excellent! You see it's come to our attention that you may have, err...umm, weeeeeel... a little eensy, teensy bit of negativity going on."
Me: *thinking - "Nooo? Really? I never fucking noticed you smiley little shit!"
Me: (actually speaking) "Oh, well. I don't know what to say to this."
Chipmunk: "Well we feel that perhaps a good thing to do would be to have you meet with me each week and share three positive self-affirmations, until you feel more like a part of the team."
Me: *thinking- "Who the fuck are WE? I only see you and me in this office right now. Is your imaginary friend here too? And what the fuck is with you and the number three? Did you watch too much Sesame Street growing up? Or is it that you have O.C. ? (Obsessive Compulsive for those who don't know).
Me: *actually speaking- "Ok. Sure."
Chipmunk: "Oh yay!" She actually clapped here too like one of Jerry's kids.
*Silence crickets chirping*
Me: "Oh! You mean starting now??"
Chipmunk: "yes, yes, yes!"
Me: " Ok. How about: one - I'm glad that I don't repeat myself like some sort of demented, autistic chipmunk. Two - I think my attitude is perfectly at home in this shit hole excuse for a company. And three - Judging by the look on your face, I don't have to work here anymore!"
So there you have it. I am now unemployed and still bitter as hell. At least now I have an extended weekend. Eh! Whatcha gonna do? Beer anyone?
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-09 15:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Next time, negotiate with a sawed off shotgun.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good on ya mate!
Submitted by johnnyno (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck finding a new job job job.
Submitted by CaptainStach (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for each ball.
Glad to see you have some.
Submitted by plushpeach (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good, good, good!
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I had to laugh at this!
Submitted by madmax (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You have to start somewhere..."
That is at least what everyone tells me when I complain about my mindless, stupid, useless job.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, good, good!
Submitted by mad_monkey_mojo (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Please show your tits.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apparently an aptitude problem as well.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice username. Reminds me of Tom's mom: http://www.ubersite.com/m/37958 (NSFW)
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For a girl, you kick ass.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh. Solid 0.
Submitted by ToiletChunx (user info) at 2004-07-09 14:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Party on dude