Diary of a Madman 10 (974 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: doam
Rating: 1.88 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2004-07-10 00:40:50 EDT
"It's too late,
to fall in love with Sharon Tate.
And it's too soon,
to ask me for the words I want carved on my tomb".
Animals.
Is there anything more innocent? More trusting? More loving?
Animals are the only things living on this planet capable of unconditional love. They look up at you with those big eyes, searching for a glimmer of the feelings that they have for you in return. They trust you. Their very lives hinge on whether or not you are in a good mood. They eat when you tell them. They excrete when you let them. They are at your beck and call, performing tricks or obeying orders for the tiniest morsel of food.
They will jump through hoops for treats. They will look up at you while you scratch them. They wag their tails when they are happy. They smile.
Humans elicit this very behavior. They elicit this behavior under extreme duress. They elicit this behavior for a promise that in return, they retain their lives.
It is unbelievable what a human will do to just have a glimmer of hope that their life will not be extinguished. They will abuse themselves. They will humiliate themselves. They will prostrate themselves in front of you while you do unspeakable things to them. All for the sake of living.
I questioned myself during a relatively creative period of my life as to whether or not I could stretch the limits of human suffering beyond those of which other people defined as normal. I chose my subjects very carefully during this period so as to have a comprehensive cross section of what we term "society". I had quite a collection.
I had the bank manager who ate glass in return for his life.
I had the hooker who cut herself deeply over and over again so that I wouldn't cut her too deeply.
I had the athlete who endured a relentless onslaught of naked humiliation, bondage, discipline, and sadism just at the mere promise of a glimpse of the morning sun once more.
I had the child who killed the animals for a promise of his mothers loving arms at the end of the day. He was 9 and he killed them with his bare hands knowing that he would be bitten and scratched and beaten by their claws.
Their promises never were fulfilled, their lives were never really bartered for their success. In the end, they all knew it and they all cried like babies right up until the very end.
The human being can withstand much more punishment than the animals. Even though they were reduced to animals themselves, they always had the one thing that kept them going, the one thing that kept them alive through adversity and challenge.
They had their minds.
They had their minds to retreat into. They had their secret spaces to hide in. Those boxes they had in the recesses of their minds that they could crawl into and close the top. Those worlds that became reality to them once their realities had ceased to exist. Those retreats that only they knew. Where they were safe. Safe from any outside influence or destruction.
I would see them sitting there, rocking to and fro. I would know in an instant where they were. I would know that it didn't matter anymore and that, for the rest of their time with me, they would be useless. It was no fun then. It was no fun extinguishing the light because the light was dim. Very dim.
People come to me with fire. Big fire. Hot fire. Fire that is undying. Fire that will fight to become larger, more terrifying, more intense.
People leave me a flicker of their former selves. Beaten.... Broken..... Extinguished.
"So I think it's time,
that we all start to think about getting by,
without the need to go out and find,
somebody to love".
User Reviews
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-22 13:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-12-31 06:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-08-27 11:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-27 11:03:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Top quality stuff.
Have you read "The Room" by Loren's step dad, Hubert Selby?
No, can't say that I have.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-27 11:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Top quality stuff.
Have you read "The Room" by Loren's step dad, Hubert Selby?
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2004-08-27 10:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just found this series this morning and am in the process of reading each installment. I'm not very good with the lavishing of praise so I'll just say that I think they're "Really Good". Usually darker content does not affect me (apart from the enjoyment of the read), but this really caught me off-guard:
"I had the child who killed the animals for a promise of his mothers loving arms at the end of the day. He was 9 and he killed them with his bare hands knowing that he would be bitten and scratched and beaten by their claws. "
I'm pretty sure this is what has me disturbed. I have since gone out for a smoke and returned to my desk and still have a "bad" feeling, like I received some bad news earlier today but can't quite remember what it was.
Good work, I particularly liked the previous one (Recipe) and the Supper's Ready one.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-08-08 01:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't imagine what an in-depth look into his mind would be like. The story could be phenomenal, or impossible.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-07-17 01:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-07-14 23:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dudette (user info) at 2004-07-13 05:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This series is incredible.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-07-11 00:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-10 23:56:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks alot for your contact lens advice.
You're welcome. My pleasure.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-10 23:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks alot for your contact lens advice.
Submitted by Rob at 2004-07-10 20:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love animals, this was great writing.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-10 18:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amazing writing. Bravo!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-10 16:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"They will jump through hoops for treats. They will look up at you while you scratch them. They wag their tails when they are happy. They smile."
This is unless that animal is a Tiger, or a Wombat, or a Badger, or a Killer Whale....I don't think those animals smile too often, at least not at humans.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-07-10 12:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-07-10 12:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-07-10 07:41:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was a little worried when I saw this. I was afraid you were going to be funny again. As refreshing as that was, I was aching for you to get back to being disturbing and heartrending and horrifying and brilliant.
And here it is. Thank you. More please.
(By the way: After extensive research involving my back yard and random homeless folks, I've discovered that you were, of course, right. You can bury a body in twenty minutes if you dig the grave beforehand. My apologies for doubting you.)
Apology accepted.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-07-10 07:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was a little worried when I saw this. I was afraid you were going to be funny again. As refreshing as that was, I was aching for you to get back to being disturbing and heartrending and horrifying and brilliant.
And here it is. Thank you. More please.
(By the way: After extensive research involving my back yard and random homeless folks, I've discovered that you were, of course, right. You can bury a body in twenty minutes if you dig the grave beforehand. My apologies for doubting you.)
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-07-10 02:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37723
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-07-10 01:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is bullshit! I call shenanigans!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-07-10 01:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-10 01:17:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Ed Gein, I'd like to see you try that shit with me...
I'd just tell you it's all an illusion and laugh as my body was dismembered...then as soon as I got to hell I'd petition Satan to allow me to be the one who tortured your soul for all eternity.
Ahhh, so you read it. I see that you understand completely.
Submitted by Theory_Eyed (user info) at 2004-07-10 01:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-10 01:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, Ed Gein, I'd like to see you try that shit with me...
I'd just tell you it's all an illusion and laugh as my body was dismembered...then as soon as I got to hell I'd petition Satan to allow me to be the one who tortured your soul for all eternity.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-07-10 01:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a madman