White Collar Tales: Who the fuck ate my lunch? (223 hits)
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Submitted by Buzz Archer <archerv.at.colorado.edu> (View user info) at 2004-07-14 16:54:41 EDT
Two hours ago,a loud shriek emanating from the employee lounge made me peek meekly over
my cubicle.
"Goddamnit my FUCKING TACOS are missing, I swear to God I will slaughter the person
who ate my FUCKINGGODDAMN TACOS!"
Janice, one of the middle managers, marched out and proceeded to stare down the closest
employee with her moderately rheumy eyes. Normally, she resembled a female version of Rodney Dangerfield..but her beet-red face edged closer to a sick parody.
"Ron don't you lie to me about my missing mexican food, I know damned well you were probably involved."
Ron mumbled something about eating tuna salad and hid in his small work space. Janice
paced down the hallways and peered into each cubicle...hoping for a glimmer of tin-foil
that would give away the culprit who stole the best thing to come out of Mexico.
Unsuccessful, she started racial profiling and quizzed any one with the last name Gonzalez/
Hernandez, or anyone who had a slight tan. This ploy quickly failed so she singled out the
obese person who occupied the cubicle two spaces down from me.
"Jesus Tony...you and I both know that you pop a massive chubby anytime a greasy wrapper
comes through this place. Just admit that you ate my lunch and it will be water under
the bridge eventually."
"Sorry Janice, I couldn't have eaten it because I just had gastric bypass sur-"
"LIAR! YOU FAT FUCK OF A LIAR!"
Janice stormed off and locked herself in the office. Tony was sent home due to emotional
distress. Janice's office is apparently locked at this moment.
I am not one to rat out people, but the Hispanic janitor cleaning up looks suspiciously full
and his shirt has hot sauce dribbled onto it...
Here's a random picture to brighten your day.
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