White Collar Tales: Who the fuck ate my lunch? (697 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.3 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Buzz Archer <archerv.at.colorado.edu> (View user info) at 2004-07-14 16:55:04 EDT
Two hours ago,a loud shriek emanating from the employee lounge made me peek meekly over
my cubicle.
"Goddamnit my FUCKING TACOS are missing, I swear to God I will slaughter the person
who ate my FUCKINGGODDAMN TACOS!"
Janice, one of the middle managers, marched out and proceeded to stare down the closest
employee with her moderately rheumy eyes. Normally, she resembled a female version of Rodney Dangerfield..but her beet-red face edged closer to a sick parody.
"Ron don't you lie to me about my missing mexican food, I know damned well you were probably involved."
Ron mumbled something about eating tuna salad and hid in his small work space. Janice
paced down the hallways and peered into each cubicle...hoping for a glimmer of tin-foil
that would give away the culprit who stole the best thing to come out of Mexico.
Unsuccessful, she started racial profiling and quizzed any one with the last name Gonzalez/
Hernandez, or anyone who had a slight tan. This ploy quickly failed so she singled out the
obese person who occupied the cubicle two spaces down from me.
"Jesus Tony...you and I both know that you pop a massive chubby anytime a greasy wrapper
comes through this place. Just admit that you ate my lunch and it will be water under
the bridge eventually."
"Sorry Janice, I couldn't have eaten it because I just had gastric bypass sur-"
"LIAR! YOU FAT FUCK OF A LIAR!"
Janice stormed off and locked herself in the office. Tony was sent home due to emotional
distress. Janice's office is apparently locked at this moment.
I am not one to rat out people, but the Hispanic janitor cleaning up looks suspiciously full
and his shirt has hot sauce dribbled onto it...
Here's a random picture to brighten your day.
User Reviews
Submitted by denim9 (user info) at 2004-07-18 15:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about BuzzArcher
User id: 10277
Registered on or around: 2004-07-14 05:26:39
# Messages posted: 3
# Reviews written: 11
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 16
# Hits: 422
Average rating of all messages: 0.74
Thanks!
Submitted by bartisawesome (user info) at 2004-07-14 20:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
High quality, very good for a newbie.
Submitted by SnotOnYourLife <SnotOnYourLife.at.home.com> at 2004-07-14 20:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Saw pretty much same thing on fuckedcompany ~1 year ago
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-14 18:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that's pretty funny.
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 For cool story
-1 For shens
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
wow, you copied and pasted a picture from ebaumsworld. awesome man!... and the story was sub-par at best.
enjoy alzeihmers.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those damn Hispanic janitors!! They threaten to rip apart the VERY FABRIC OF OUR SOCIETY!!
Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you sure someone didn't drink her apple juice?
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
Submitted by BolderBoulder (user info) at 2004-07-14 17:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"LIAR! you FAT FUCK OF A LIAR!"
+1 for that little outburst
+1 for the picture
= +2