Worst Morning EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!! (683 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.43 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <sliver189.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-15 09:52:33 EDT
Well I haven't posted in a while because all of my posts are from life experiences...Which leads me to the worst which happened in one morning.
It's kind of long but I'm not high so I can type for a while. I promise this is not like my other posts..
It all started yesterday (well actually Tuesday, but that's another post all together). My sister called me around 9:35pm to remind me for the 5th time that she needs a ride to the airport before I go to work (Reminder: I have to be at work at 7:30am and not a minute later because I work in media in which every lost second counts as lost money)I, being the great baby sister that I am agree to this. Now I'm already grouchy and grateful because she woke me up and because I needed to get up anyway (I've been sleeping since 5pm when I got off. Media is verryyyyyyyy demanding and will wear you out) My plans after I hung up was to go to the weed spot so that I'll have some for the morning and afternoon buzz. That didn't happen. I wound up getting dressed for bed and getting back in it. Besides, the guy I get it from gets up early in the morning anyway around the same time I do. So I called him and let him know that I'll be over in the morning. He said cool. So I go back to sleep thinking everything will be fine. Get up in the morning, drop my sister off, come back home, get ready for work, pick up weed on the way to work, everyone is happy. WRONG!!!!
This morning around 4:45am, my mother decides now is a good time for bullshit conversation. This doesn't bother her because she is already up getting ready for work. I'M NOT. So I finally try to shoo her off by grunting and turning over. Does this stop her? NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! So I sit up in the bed (rose like Dracula in his coffin in the movie "Fright Night" that movie kicks ass)and ask her "Why, why do you want to know this stuff now", she replies, "Because you were sleeping since you got off from work, and I didn't want to disturb you then" My god if she wasn't my mother..Anyway, now that I can't go back to sleep, I just lied in my bed waiting for my sister to arrive. She didn't come until around 5:37. That leaves me with little time to come back home and bullshit around until I get dressed. This is the first fuck up of the morning.The second one happened when I got home. My sister's car has to be put in my driveway, which means that my grandmother has to move her car for me to block my sister's in. I call her, because she lives right next door (which is the worst thing that has ever happened to me because grandma's sister lives on the second floor in my grandma's house) to tell her to give me the keys so I can move the car. For some reason this takes about 11min. Why? I still don't know.
So I finally move the car and now I'm starting to get dressed for work. Around 6:45 I call my supplier, which also happens to be my fuck buddy (read my post: "Initiating Sex") to let him know that I'll be there in 10 minutes. He says cool. Now I'm thinking everything is starting to go smoothly. Get weed, get dutches at store around corner form job, stop at Dunkin Donuts, get 2 glazed donuts, orange juice, go to work....That's how I wanted it to work. But we don't get what we wish for often. It's now 6:57 and I pull up in front of his house. He is nowhere in sight. I give him a few minutes because it is early and maybe he has to throw somehting on. It is now 7:06. It only takes me about 8 minutes to get to work, even if there is traffic. But remember I did wanted to go to Dunkin Donuts. I go to the payphone and call him to see what the fuck is going on, answering machine. I leave a message saying that I'm leaving so I'll get you later when I get to work. Now that I don't have my weed, this makes Sliver a very carbby person, especially when I left my house 15 minutes earlier that I normally would so that getting weed in the morning would fit into my daily schedule (time is very important to me. I spaz when someone uses a fucking credit card at wendy's. yes, they do that up here in nj..dickwads).
7:17am...
I pull up into the Dunkin Donuts parking lot. HOORRAAAYY, i beat the morning line. I go the counter and order my 2 donuts and orange juice. What the cashier told me this morning, I will never forget. These words had the nerve to leave her overly glossed mouth.."We are out of glazed donuts." I looked at her like she just stole my winning Mega Millions ticket. I said, (exact words) "What in the hell do you mean you're out of glazed donuts, you just fuckin' opened at 5:00am!!!!" She offered me to pick another kind. "This is like Pizza Hut running out of fuckin pizza sauce! You should just close the fuckin doors!" Now the cashier is looking at me like I'm having a seizure or something..bitch
It is now 7:28. Yes I spent all that time yelling at the cashier, but it was worth it. I now have 2 minutes to get the elevator and get to my office so I can start today's schedule. I'm late. At this point I don't give a rats ass. I'm mad. I didn't get enough me time, my mom aggravated the shit out of me, my grandma is just my grandma (you know about them), no weed, no donuts..Feel my pain? I thought I can show that cashier by getting a muffin from the cafeteria that is in our office complex. I give up..the fucker destroyed my bluberry muffin. He burned it.
Never do something tomorrow what you can do today..
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-15 12:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
actually it is the little things that go wrong that can ruin my morning.
Submitted by koolkt85 (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought it was funny. screw all the negative comments. it made me laugh my ass off. specially the paragraph about the unglazed donuts.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-15 11:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are very carbby person? what does that mean are you on atkins?
i don't even think you smoke pot. stoners are at least creative.
you are just a moron and a pain in the ass.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dammit. I thought you were dead.
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
Camwhore yourself so I can see what you look like, to see if you even have any use as a breeder.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
In the news today:
A drastic influx of patients admitted to hospitals across the country suffering from severe rectal bleeding was seen today. Doctors across America are baffled.
Espo
Submitted by sliver (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, all I can say is..GO LICK BALLS!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"It all started yesterday (well actually Tuesday, but that's another post all together)."
Please....
Don't.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh I care so much about you and... wait please roll yourself into a ball light your self on fire and go back to the middle ages, then you'd be useful.
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Should be "raped". I can't spell today. Toodles.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wouldn't be suprised if there is a rash of rectal bleeding across the country because of people reading this.
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please don't post life problems unless you were rapped buy an escaped mountain lion and ended up with feline AIDS. Thanks.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs more exclamation marks in the title.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
After reading half of this, I had to stop because it made my eyes and ears bleed.
You write like a 12 year old, and nobody cares about your shitty day.
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
All caps and exclamation marks make baby Jesus cry.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know what's really good with coffee and weed?
Strychnine.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-07-15 10:01:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I would love to live in your world.
Where arguing with your mommy and grandma and your blueberry muffin getting ruined is the worst morning ever.