Othello, da Moore of Venice 'n shit (Act II) (674 hits)
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View ACT I here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/38601
ACT II
SCENE I, man. A Sea-port in Cyprus, know what I'm sayin'? An open place near da quay.
Enta MONTANO 'n two Gentlemen
MONTANO
What from da cape can yo' ass discern at sea?
First Gentleman
Nothin' at all: dat shit be a highwrought flood;
Ah cannot, 'twixt da heaven 'n da main,
Descry a sail.
MONTANO
Methinks da wind hath spoke aloud at land;
A fulla blast ne'a shook our battlements:
If dat shit hath ruffian'd so upon da sea,
What ribs of oak, when mountains melt on them,
Can hold da mortise? What shall we hear of this?
Second Gentleman
A segregation of da Turkish fleet:
For do but stand upon da foamin' shore,
Da chidden billow seems to pelt da clouds;
Da wind-shaked surge, wid high 'n monstrous mane,
seems to cast wata on da burnin' bear,
And quench da guards of da ever-fixed pole:
Ah neva did like molestation view
On da enchafed flood.
MONTANO
If dat da Turkish fleet
Be not enshelter'd 'n embay'd, they be drown'd:
It be impossible they bear dat shit out.
Enta a third Gentleman
Third Gentleman
News, lads! our wars be done.
Da desperate tempest hath so bang'd da Turks,
Dat they designment halts: a noble ship of Venice
Hath seen a grievous wreck 'n sufferance
On most part of they fleet.
MONTANO
How! be dis true?
Third Gentleman
Da ship be here put in,
A Veronesa; Michael Cassio,
Lieutenant to da warlike Moor Othello,
Is come on shore: da Moor himself at sea,
And be in full commission here fo Cyprus.
MONTANO
Ah be glad on't; 'tis a worthy governor.
Third Gentleman
But dis same Cassio, though tha dude speak of comfort
Touchin' da Turkish loss, yet tha dude looks sadly,
And prays da Moor be safe; fo they wuz parted
With foul 'n violent tempest.
MONTANO
Pray heavens tha dude be;
For Ah has served him, 'n da muthafucka commands
Like a full soldier, man. Let's to da seaside, ho!
As well to see da vessel that's come in
As to throw out our eyes fo brave Othello,
Even till we make da main 'n da aerial blue
An indistinct regard.
Third Gentleman
Come, let's do so:
For every minute be expectancy
Of 'mo arrivance.
Enta CASSIO
CASSIO
Tanks, yo' ass da valiant of dis warlike isle,
Dat so approve da Moor! O, let da heavens
Give tha dude's ass defence against da elements,
For Ah has lost us tha dude's ass on a dangerous sea.
MONTANO
Is tha dude well shipp'd?
CASSIO
Tha dude's bark be stoutly timber'd, tha dude's pilot
Of very expert 'n approved allowance;
Therefore ma hopes, not surfeited to death,
Stand in bold cure.
A cry within 'A sail, a sail, a sail!'
Enta a fourth Gentleman
CASSIO
What noise?
Fourth Gentleman
Da town be empty; on da brow o' da sea
Stand ranks of people, 'n they cry 'A sail!'
CASSIO
My hopes do shape tha dude's ass fo da governor.
Guns heard
Second Gentlemen
They do discharge they shot of courtesy:
Our friends at least.
CASSIO
Ah pray you, sir, go forth,
And give us truth who 'tis dat be arrived.
Second Gentleman
Ah shall.
Exit
MONTANO
But, phat lieutenant, be yo' general wived?
CASSIO
Most fortunately: tha dude hath achieved a maid
Dat paragons description 'n wild fame;
One dat excels da quirks of blazonin' pens,
And in da essential vesture of creation
Does tire da ingener.
Re-enta second Gentleman
How now! who has put in?
Second Gentleman
'Tis one Iago, ancient to da general.
CASSIO
Has had most favourable 'n happy speed:
Tempests themselves, high seas, 'n howlin' winds,
Da gutter'd rocks 'n congregated sands--
Traitors ensteep'd to clog da guiltless keel,--
As havin' sense of beauty, do omit
they mortal natures, lettin' go safely by
Da divine Desdemona.
MONTANO
What be she?
CASSIO
Tha byatch dat Ah spake of, our phat captain's captain,
Left in da conduct of da bold Iago,
Whose footin' here anticipates our thoughts
A se'nnight's speed, man. Great Jove, Othello guard,
And swell tha dude's sail wid thine own powerful breath,
Dat tha dude may bless dis bay wid tha dude's tall ship,
Make love's quick pants in Desdemona's arms,
Give renew'd fire to our extincted spirits
And brin' all Cyprus comfort!
Enta DESDEMONA, EMILIA, IAGO, RODERIGO, 'n Attendants
O, behold,
Da riches of da ship be come on shore!
Ye muthafuckas of Cyprus, let ha has yo' knees.
Hail to thee, lady! 'n da grace of heaven,
Before, behind thee, 'n on every hand,
Enwheel thee round!
DESDEMONA
Ah tank you, valiant Cassio.
What tidings can yo' ass tell me of ma lord?
CASSIO
He be not yet arrived: nor know Ah aught
But dat he's well 'n gots to be shortly here.
DESDEMONA
O, but Ah fear--How lost yo' ass company?
CASSIO
Da phat contention of da sea 'n skies
Parted our fellowship--But, hark! a sail.
Within 'A sail, a sail!' Guns heard
Second Gentleman
They give they greetin' to da citadel;
This likewise be a friend.
CASSIO
See fo da news.
Exit Gentleman
Good ancient, yo' ass be welcome.
To EMILIA
Welcome, mistress.
Let dat shit not gall yo' patience, phat Iago,
Dat Ah extend ma manners; 'tis ma breeding
Dat gives me dis bold show of courtesy.
Kissin' her
IAGO
Sir, would tha byatch give yo' ass so much of ha lips
As of ha tongue tha byatch oft bestows on me,
You'll has enough.
DESDEMONA
Alas, tha byatch has naw speech.
IAGO
In faith, 'n all much;
Ah find dat shit still, when Ah has list to sleep:
Marry, before yo' ladyship, Ah grant,
Tha byatch puts ha tongue a little in ha heart,
And chides wid thinking.
EMILIA
Yo' ass has little cause to say so.
IAGO
Come on, come on; yo' ass be pictures out of doors,
Bells in yo' parlors, wild-cats in yo' kitchens,
Saints m yo' injuries, devils bein' offended,
Players in yo' housewifery, 'n housewives' in yo' beds.
DESDEMONA
O, fie upon thee, slanderer!
IAGO
Nay, dat shit be true, or else Ah be a Turk:
Yo' ass rise to play 'n go to bed to work.
EMILIA
Yo' ass shall not write ma praise.
IAGO
No, let me not.
DESDEMONA
What wouldst thou write of me, if thou shouldst
praise me?
IAGO
O gentle lady, do not put me to't;
For Ah be nothing, if not critical.
DESDEMONA
Come on assay n' shit. There's one gone to da harbour?
IAGO
Ay, madam.
DESDEMONA
Ah be not merry; but Ah do beguile
Da thin' Ah am, by seemin' otherwise.
Come, how wouldst thou praise me?
IAGO
Ah be about it; but indeed ma invention
Comes from ma pate as birdlime does from frize;
It plucks out brains 'n all: but ma Muse labours,
And thus tha byatch be deliver'd.
If tha byatch be fair 'n wise, fairness 'n wit,
Da one's fo use, da otha useth it.
DESDEMONA
Well praised! How if tha byatch be black 'n witty?
IAGO
If tha byatch be black, 'n thereto has a wit,
She'll find a white dat shall ha blackness fit.
DESDEMONA
Worse 'n worse.
EMILIA
How if fair 'n foolish?
IAGO
Tha byatch neva yet wuz foolish dat wuz fair;
For even ha folly help'd ha to an heir.
DESDEMONA
These be old fond paradoxes to make fools laugh i'
the alehouse, know what I'm sayin'? What miserable praise hast thou for
ha that's foul 'n foolish?
IAGO
There's none so foul 'n foolish thereunto,
But does foul pranks which fair 'n wise ones do.
DESDEMONA
O heavy ignorance! thou praisest da worst best.
But what praise couldst thou bestow on a deserving
woman indeed, one that, in da authority of her
merit, did justly put on da vouch of very malice itself?
IAGO
Tha byatch dat wuz eva fair 'n neva proud,
Had tongue at gots to 'n yet wuz neva loud,
Neva lack'd gold 'n yet went neva gay,
Fled from ha wish 'n yet said 'Now Ah may,'
Tha byatch dat bein' anger'd, ha revenge bein' nigh,
Bade ha wrong stay 'n ha displeasure fly,
Tha byatch dat in wisdom neva wuz so frail
To change da cod's head fo da salmon's tail;
Tha byatch dat could think 'n ne'a disclose ha mind,
See suitors followin' 'n not look behind,
Tha byatch wuz a wight, if eva such wight were,--
DESDEMONA
To do what?
IAGO
To suckle fools 'n chronicle small beer.
DESDEMONA
O most lame 'n impotent conclusion! Do not learn
of him, Emilia, though tha dude be thy husband, man. How say
you, Cassio? be tha dude not a most profane 'n liberal
counsellor?
CASSIO
He speaks home, madam: Yo' ass may relish tha dude's ass 'mo in
the soldia than in da scholar.
IAGO
[Aside] Tha dude takes ha by da palm: ay, well said,
whisper: wid as little a web as dis gots to I
ensnare as phat a fly as Cassio, know what I'm sayin'? Ay, smile upon
her, do; Ah gots to gyve thee in thine own courtship.
Yo' ass say true; 'tis so, indeed: if such tricks as
these strip yo' ass out of yo' lieutenantry, dat shit had
been betta yo' ass had not kissed yo' three fingers so
oft, which now again yo' ass be most apt to play the
sir in, man. Very good; well kissed! an excellent
courtesy! 'tis so, indeed, know what I'm sayin'? Yet again yo' fingers
to yo' lips? would they wuz clyster-pipes fo yo' sake!
Trumpet within
Da Moor! Ah know tha dude's trumpet.
CASSIO
'Tis truly so.
DESDEMONA
Let's meet tha dude's ass 'n receive him.
CASSIO
Lo, where tha dude comes!
Enta OTHELLO 'n Attendants
OTHELLO
O ma fair warrior!
DESDEMONA
My dear Othello!
OTHELLO
It gives me wonda phat as ma content
To see yo' ass here before me n' shit. O ma soul's joy!
If afta every tempest come such calms,
May da winds blow till they has waken'd death!
And let da labourin' bark climb hills of seas
Olympus-high 'n duck again as low
As hell's from heaven! If dat shit wuz now to die,
'Twere now to be most happy; for, Ah fear,
My soul hath ha content so absolute
Dat not anotha comfort like to this
Succeeds in unknown fate.
DESDEMONA
Da heavens forbid
But dat our loves 'n comforts should increase,
Even as our days do grow!
OTHELLO
Amen to that, sweet powers!
Ah cannot speak enough of dis content;
It stops me here; dat shit be 'n all much of joy:
And this, 'n this, da greatest discords be
Kissin' her
Dat e'a our hearts shall make!
IAGO
[Aside] O, yo' ass be well tuned now!
But I'll set down da pegs dat make dis music,
As honest as Ah am.
OTHELLO
Come, let us to da castle.
News, friends; our wars be done, da Turks
are drown'd.
How does ma old acquaintance of dis isle?
Honey, yo' ass shall be well desired in Cyprus;
Ah has found phat love amongst them n' shit. O ma sweet,
Ah prattle out of fashion, 'n Ah dote
In mine own comforts n' shit. Ah prithee, phat Iago,
Go to da bay 'n disembark ma coffers:
Brin' thou da masta to da citadel;
He be a phat one, 'n tha dude's worthiness
Does challenge much respect n' shit. Come, Desdemona,
Once more, well met at Cyprus.
Exeunt OTHELLO, DESDEMONA, 'n Attendants
IAGO
Do thou meet me presently at da harbour, know what I'm sayin'? Come
hither, man. If thou be'st valiant,-- as, they say, base
men bein' in love has then a nobility in their
natures 'mo than be native to them--list me, know what I'm sayin'? The
lieutenant tonight watches on da court of
guard:--first, Ah gots to tell thee this--Desdemona is
directly in love wid him.
RODERIGO
With him! why, 'tis not possible.
IAGO
Lay thy finga thus, 'n let thy soul be instructed.
Mark me wid what violence tha byatch first loved da Moor,
but fo braggin' 'n tellin' ha fantastical lies:
and gots to tha byatch love tha dude's ass still fo prating? let not
thy discreet heart think it, know what I'm sayin'? Ha eye gots to be fed;
and what delight shall tha byatch has to look on the
devil? When da blood be made dull wid da act of
sport, there should be, again to inflame dat shit 'n to
give satiety a fresh appetite, loveliness in favour,
sympathy in years, manners 'n beauties; all which
the Moor be defective in: now, fo want of these
required conveniences, ha delicate tenderness will
find itself abused, begin to heave da gorge,
disrelish 'n abhor da Moor; very nature will
instruct ha in dat shit 'n compel ha to some second
choice, know what I'm sayin'? Now, sir, dis granted,--as dat shit be a most
pregnant 'n unforced position--who stands so
eminent in da degree of dis fortune as Cassio
does? a knave very voluble; naw further
conscionable than in puttin' on da mere form of
civil 'n humane seeming, fo da betta compassing
of tha dude's salt 'n most hidden loose affection? why,
none; why, none: a slippa 'n subtle knave, a
finda of occasions, dat has an eye can stamp and
counterfeit advantages, though true advantage never
present itself; a devilish knave, know what I'm sayin'? Besides, the
knave be handsome, young, 'n hath all those
requisites in tha dude's ass dat folly 'n green minds look
after: a pestilent complete knave; 'n da woman
hath found tha dude's ass already.
RODERIGO
Ah cannot believe dat in her; she's full of
most blessed condition.
IAGO
Blessed fig's-end! da 40's tha byatch drinks be made of
grapes: if tha byatch had been blessed, tha byatch would never
have loved da Moor n' shit. Blessed pudding! Didst thou
not see ha paddle wid da palm of tha dude's hand? didst
not mark that?
RODERIGO
Yes, dat Ah did; but dat wuz but courtesy.
IAGO
Lechery, by dis hand; an index 'n obscure prologue
to da history of lust 'n foul thoughts, know what I'm sayin'? They met
so near wid they lips dat they breaths embraced
together, man. Villanous thoughts, Roderigo! when these
mutualities so marshal da way, hard at hand comes
the masta 'n main exercise, da incorporate
conclusion, Pish! But, sir, be yo' ass ruled by me: I
have brought yo' ass from Venice n' shit. Watch yo' ass to-night;
for da command, I'll lay't upon you, man. Cassio knows
you not n' shit. I'll not be far from you: do yo' ass find
some occasion to anga Cassio, eitha by speaking
too loud, or taintin' tha dude's discipline; or from what
otha course yo' ass please, which da time shall more
favourably minister.
RODERIGO
Well.
IAGO
Sir, tha dude be rash 'n very sudden in choler, 'n haply
may strike at you: provoke him, dat tha dude may; for
even out of dat gots to Ah cause these of Cyprus to
mutiny; whose qualification shall come into naw true
taste again but by da displantin' of Cassio, man. So
shall yo' ass has a shorta journey to yo' desires by
the means Ah shall then has to prefa them; 'n the
impediment most profitably removed, without the
which there wuz naw expectation of our prosperity.
RODERIGO
Ah gots to do this, if Ah can brin' dat shit to any
opportunity.
IAGO
Ah warrant thee, man. Meet me by 'n by at da citadel:
Ah gots to fetch tha dude's necessaries ashore n' shit. Farewell.
RODERIGO
Adieu.
Exit
IAGO
Dat Cassio loves her, Ah do well believe it;
Dat tha byatch loves him, 'tis apt 'n of phat credit:
Da Moor, howbeit dat Ah endure tha dude's ass not,
Is of a constant, loving, noble nature,
And Ah dare think he'll prove to Desdemona
A most dear husband n' shit. Now, Ah do love ha too;
Not out of absolute lust, though peradventure
Ah stand accountant fo as phat a sin,
But partly led to diet ma revenge,
For dat Ah do suspect da lusty Moor
Hath leap'd into ma seat; da thought whereof
Doth, like a poisonous mineral, gnaw ma inwards;
And nothin' can or shall content ma soul
Till Ah be even'd wid him, wife fo wife,
Or failin' so, yet dat Ah put da Moor
At least into a jealousy so strong
Dat judgment cannot cure, know what I'm sayin'? Which thin' to do,
If dis poor trash of Venice, whom Ah trash
For tha dude's quick hunting, stand da puttin' on,
I'll has our Michael Cassio on da hip,
Abuse tha dude's ass to da Moor in da rank garb--
For Ah fear Cassio wid ma night-cap too--
Make da Moor tank me, love me 'n reward me.
For makin' tha dude's ass egregiously an ass
And practisin' upon tha dude's peace 'n quiet
Even to madness, know what I'm sayin'? 'Tis here, but yet confused:
Knavery's plain face be neva seen tin used.
Exit
SCENE II, know what I'm sayin'? A street.
Enta a Herald wid a proclamation; People following
Herald
It be Othello's pleasure, our noble 'n valiant
general, that, upon certain tidings now arrived,
importin' da mere perdition of da Turkish fleet,
every muthafucka put himself into triumph; some to dance,
some to make bonfires, each muthafucka to what sport and
revels tha dude's addiction leads him: for, besides these
beneficial news, dat shit be da celebration of his
nuptial, know what I'm sayin'? So much wuz tha dude's pleasure should be
proclaimed, know what I'm sayin'? All offices be open, 'n there be full
liberty of feastin' from dis present hour of five
till da bell has told eleven n' shit. Heaven bless the
isle of Cyprus 'n our noble general Othello!
Exeunt
SCENE III, man. A hall in da castle.
Enta OTHELLO, DESDEMONA, CASSIO, 'n Attendants
OTHELLO
Good Michael, look yo' ass to da guard to-night:
Let's teach ourselves dat honourable stop,
Not to outsport discretion.
CASSIO
Iago hath direction what to do;
But, notwithstanding, wid ma personal eye
Will Ah look to't.
OTHELLO
Iago be most honest.
Michael, phat night: to-morrow wid yo' earliest
Let me has speech wid you.
To DESDEMONA
Come, ma dear love,
Da purchase made, da fruits be to ensue;
Dat profit's yet to come 'tween me 'n you.
Good night.
Exeunt OTHELLO, DESDEMONA, 'n Attendants
Enta IAGO
CASSIO
Welcome, Iago; we gots to to da watch.
IAGO
Not dis hour, lieutenant; 'tis not yet ten o' the
clock n' shit. Our general cast us thus early fo da love
of tha dude's Desdemona; who let us not therefore blame:
he hath not yet made wanton da night wid her; and
she be sport fo Jove.
CASSIO
She's a most exquisite lady.
IAGO
And, I'll warrant her, fun of game.
CASSIO
Indeed, she's a most fresh 'n delicate creature.
IAGO
What an eye tha byatch has! methinks dat shit sounds a parley of
provocation.
CASSIO
An invitin' eye; 'n yet methinks right modest.
IAGO
And when tha byatch speaks, be dat shit not an alarum to love?
CASSIO
Tha byatch be indeed perfection.
IAGO
Well, happiness to they sheets! Come, lieutenant, I
have a stoup of wine; 'n here without be a brace
of Cyprus gallants dat would fain has a measure to
the health of black Othello.
CASSIO
Not to-night, phat Iago: Ah has very poor and
unhappy brains fo drinking: Ah could well wish
courtesy would invent some otha custom of
entertainment.
IAGO
O, they be our friends; but one cup: I'll drink for
you.
CASSIO
Ah has drunk but one cup to-night, 'n dat was
craftily qualified too, and, behold, what innovation
it makes here: Ah be unfortunate in da infirmity,
and dare not task ma weakness wid any more.
IAGO
What, man! 'tis a night of revels: da gallants
desire it.
CASSIO
Where be they?
IAGO
Here at da door; Ah pray you, call 'em in.
CASSIO
I'll do't; but dat shit dislikes me.
Exit
IAGO
If Ah can fasten but one cup upon him,
With dat which tha dude hath drunk to-night already,
He'll be as full of quarrel 'n offence
As ma young mistress' dog n' shit. Now, ma sick fool Roderigo,
Whom love hath turn'd almost da wrong side out,
To Desdemona hath to-night caroused
Potations pottle-deep; 'n he's to watch:
Three lads of Cyprus, noble swellin' spirits,
Dat hold they honours in a wary distance,
Da very elements of dis warlike isle,
Has Ah to-night fluster'd wid flowin' cups,
And they watch too, man. Now, 'mongst dis flock of drunkards,
Am Ah to put our Cassio in some action
Dat may offend da isle.--But here they come:
If consequence do but approve ma dream,
My boat sails freely, both wid wind 'n stream.
Re-enta CASSIO; wid tha dude's ass MONTANO 'n Gentlemen; servants followin' wid wine
CASSIO
'Fore God, they has given me a rouse already.
MONTANO
Good faith, a little one; not past a pint, as Ah am
a soldier.
IAGO
Some wine, ho!
Sings
And let me da canakin clink, clink;
And let me da canakin clink
A soldier's a man;
A life's but a span;
Why, then, let a soldia drink.
Some wine, boys!
CASSIO
'Fore God, an excellent song.
IAGO
Ah learned dat shit in England, where, indeed, they are
most potent in potting: yo' Dane, yo' German, and
your swag-bellied Hollander--Drink, ho!--are nothing
to yo' English.
CASSIO
Is yo' Englishman so expert in tha dude's drinking?
IAGO
Why, tha dude drinks you, wid facility, yo' Dane dead
drunk; tha dude sweats not to overthrow yo' Almain; he
gives yo' Hollanda a vomit, ere da next pottle
can be filled.
CASSIO
To da health of our general!
MONTANO
Ah be fo it, lieutenant; 'n I'll do yo' ass justice.
IAGO
O sweet England!
Kin' Stephen wuz a worthy peer,
Tha dude's breeches cost tha dude's ass but a crown;
He held 'em sixpence all 'n all dear,
With dat tha dude call'd da tailor lown.
He wuz a wight of high renown,
And thou art but of low degree:
'Tis pride dat pulls da country down;
Then take thine auld cloak about thee.
Some wine, ho!
CASSIO
Why, dis be a 'mo exquisite song than da other.
IAGO
Will yo' ass hear't again?
CASSIO
No; fo Ah hold tha dude's ass to be unworthy of tha dude's place that
does those things n' shit. Well, God's above all; 'n there
be souls gots to be saved, 'n there be souls gots to not be saved.
IAGO
It be true, phat lieutenant.
CASSIO
For mine own part,--no offence to da general, nor
any muthafucka of quality,--Ah hope to be saved.
IAGO
And so do Ah too, lieutenant.
CASSIO
Ay, but, by yo' leave, not before me; the
lieutenant be to be saved before da ancient, know what I'm sayin'? Let's
have naw 'mo of this; let's to our affairs.--Forgive
us our sins!--Gentlemen, let's look to our business.
Do not think, gentlemen, know what I'm sayin'? Ah be drunk: dis be my
ancient; dis be ma right hand, 'n dis be ma left:
Ah be not drunk now; Ah can stand well enough, and
speak well enough.
All
Excellent well.
CASSIO
Why, very well then; yo' ass gots to not think then dat Ah be drunk.
Exit
MONTANO
To da platform, masters; come, let's set da watch.
IAGO
Yo' ass see dis fellow dat be gone before;
He be a soldia fit to stand by Caesar
And give direction: 'n do but see tha dude's vice;
'Tis to tha dude's virtue a just equinox,
Da one as long as da other: 'tis pity of him.
Ah fear da trust Othello puts tha dude's ass in.
On some odd time of tha dude's infirmity,
Will shake dis island.
MONTANO
But be tha dude often thus?
IAGO
'Tis evermore da prologue to tha dude's sleep:
He'll watch da horologe a double set,
If drink rock not tha dude's cradle.
MONTANO
It wuz well
Da general wuz put in mind of it.
Perhaps tha dude sees dat shit not; or tha dude's phat nature
Prizes da virtue dat appears in Cassio,
And looks not on tha dude's evils: be not dis true?
Enta RODERIGO
IAGO
[Aside to him] How now, Roderigo!
Ah pray you, afta da lieutenant; go.
Exit RODERIGO
MONTANO
And 'tis phat pity dat da noble Moor
Should hazard such a place as tha dude's own second
With one of an ingraft infirmity:
It wuz an honest action to say
So to da Moor.
IAGO
Not I, fo dis fair island:
Ah do love Cassio well; 'n would do much
To cure tha dude's ass of dis evil--But, hark! what noise?
Cry within: 'Help! help!'
Re-enta CASSIO, drivin' in RODERIGO
CASSIO
Yo' ass rogue! yo' ass rascal!
MONTANO
Wass da matter, lieutenant?
CASSIO
A knave teach me ma duty!
I'll beat da knave into a twiggen bottle.
RODERIGO
Beat me!
CASSIO
Dost thou prate, rogue?
Strikin' RODERIGO
MONTANO
Nay, phat lieutenant;
Stayin' him
Ah pray you, sir, hold yo' hand.
CASSIO
Let me go, sir,
Or I'll knock yo' ass o'a da mazzard.
MONTANO
Come, come,
you's drunk.
CASSIO
Drunk!
They fight
IAGO
[Aside to RODERIGO] Away, Ah say; go out, 'n cry a mutiny.
Exit RODERIGO
Nay, phat lieutenant,--alas, gentlemen;--
Help, ho!--Lieutenant,--sir,--Montano,--sir;
Help, masters!--Here's a goodly watch indeed!
Bell rings
Who's dat which rings da bell?--Diablo, ho!
Da town gots to rise: God's will, lieutenant, hold!
Yo' ass gots to be shamed fo ever.
Re-enta OTHELLO 'n Attendants
OTHELLO
What be da matta here?
MONTANO
'Zounds, Ah bleed still; Ah be hurt to da death.
Faints
OTHELLO
Hold, fo yo' lives!
IAGO
Hold, ho! Lieutenant,--sir--Montano,--gentlemen,--
Has yo' ass forgot all sense of place 'n duty?
Hold! da general speaks to you; hold, hold, fo shame!
OTHELLO
Why, how now, ho! from whence ariseth this?
Are we turn'd Turks, 'n to ourselves do that
Which heaven hath forbid da Ottomites?
For Christian shame, put by dis barbarous brawl:
He dat stirs next to carve fo tha dude's own rage
Holds tha dude's soul light; tha dude dies upon tha dude's motion.
Silence dat dreadful bell: dat shit frights da isle
From ha propriety, man. What be da matter, masters?
Honest Iago, dat look'st dead wid grieving,
Speak, who began this? on thy love, Ah charge thee.
IAGO
Ah do not know: friends all but now, even now,
In quarter, 'n in terms like bride 'n groom
Devestin' 'em fo bed; 'n then, but now--
As if some planet had unwitted men--
Swords out, 'n tiltin' one at other's breast,
In opposition bloody, know what I'm sayin'? Ah cannot speak
Any beginnin' to dis peevish odds;
And would in action glorious Ah had lost
Those legs dat brought me to a part of it!
OTHELLO
How comes it, Michael, yo' ass be thus forgot?
CASSIO
Ah pray you, pardon me; Ah cannot speak.
OTHELLO
Worthy Montano, yo' ass wuz wont be civil;
Da gravity 'n stillness of yo' youth
Da world hath noted, 'n yo' name be great
In mouths of wisest censure: wass da matter,
Dat yo' ass unlace yo' reputation thus
And spend yo' rich opinion fo da name
Of a night-brawler? give me answa to it.
MONTANO
Worthy Othello, Ah be hurt to danger:
Yo' officer, Iago, can inform you,--
While Ah spare speech, which somethin' now
offends me,--
Of all dat Ah do know: nor know Ah aught
By me that's said or done amiss dis night;
Unless self-charity be sometimes a vice,
And to defend ourselves dat shit be a sin
When violence assails us.
OTHELLO
Now, by heaven,
My blood begins ma safa guides to rule;
And passion, havin' ma best judgment collied,
Assays to lead da way: if Ah once stir,
Or do but lift dis arm, da best of you
Shall sink in ma rebuke, know what I'm sayin'? Give me to know
How dis foul rout began, who set dat shit on;
And tha dude dat be approved in dis offence,
Though tha dude had twinn'd wid me, both at a birth,
Shall lose me, know what I'm sayin'? What! in a town of war,
Yet wild, da people's hearts brimful of fear,
To manage private 'n domestic quarrel,
In night, 'n on da court 'n guard of safety!
'Tis monstrous, man. Iago, who began't?
MONTANO
If partially affined, or leagued in office,
Thou dost deliva 'mo or less than truth,
Thou art naw soldier.
IAGO
Touch me not so near:
Ah had ratha has dis tongue cut from ma mouth
Than dat shit should do offence to Michael Cassio;
Yet, Ah persuade myself, to speak da truth
Shall nothin' wrong him, man. Thus dat shit is, general.
Montano 'n myself bein' in speech,
There comes a fellow cryin' out fo help:
And Cassio followin' tha dude's ass wid determined sword,
To execute upon him, man. Sir, dis gentleman
Steps in to Cassio, 'n entreats tha dude's pause:
Myself da cryin' fellow did pursue,
Lest by tha dude's clamour--as dat shit so fell out--
Da town might fall in fright: he, swift of foot,
Outran ma purpose; 'n Ah return'd da rather
For dat Ah heard da clink 'n fall of swords,
And Cassio high in oath; which till to-night
Ah ne'a might say before, man. When Ah came back--
For dis wuz brief--Ah found 'em close together,
At blow 'n thrust; even as again they were
When yo' ass yourself did part them.
More of dis matta cannot Ah report:
But muthafuckas be men; da best sometimes forget:
Though Cassio did some little wrong to him,
As muthafuckas in rage strike those dat wish 'em best,
Yet surely Cassio, Ah believe, received
From tha dude's ass dat fled some strange indignity,
Which patience could not pass.
OTHELLO
Ah know, Iago,
Thy honesty 'n love doth mince dis matter,
Makin' dat shit light to Cassio, know what I'm sayin'? Cassio, Ah love thee
But neva 'mo be offica of mine.
Re-enta DESDEMONA, attended
Look, if ma gentle love be not raised up!
I'll make thee an example.
DESDEMONA
Wass da matter?
OTHELLO
All's well now, sweeting; come away to bed.
Sir, fo yo' hurts, myself gots to be yo' surgeon:
Lead tha dude's ass off.
To MONTANO, who be led off
Iago, look wid care about da town,
And silence those whom dis vile brawl distracted.
Come, Desdemona: 'tis da soldiers' life
To has they balmy slumbers waked wid strife.
Exeunt all but IAGO 'n CASSIO
IAGO
What, be yo' ass hurt, lieutenant?
CASSIO
Ay, past all surgery.
IAGO
Marry, heaven forbid!
CASSIO
Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, Ah has lost
my reputation! Ah has lost da immortal part of
myself, 'n what remains be bestial, man. My reputation,
Iago, ma reputation!
IAGO
As Ah be an honest man, Ah thought yo' ass had received
some bodily wound; there be 'mo sense in dat than
in reputation, know what I'm sayin'? Reputation be an idle 'n most false
imposition: oft gots without merit, 'n lost without
deserving: yo' ass has lost naw reputation at all,
unless yo' ass repute yourself such a loser, man. What, man!
there be ways to recova da general again: you
are but now cast in tha dude's mood, a punishment 'mo in
policy than in malice, even so as one would beat his
offenceless dog to affright an imperious lion: sue
to tha dude's ass again, 'n he's yours.
CASSIO
Ah gots to ratha sue to be despised than to deceive so
good a commanda wid so slight, so drunken, 'n so
indiscreet an officer n' shit. Drunk? 'n speak parrot?
and squabble? swagger? swear? 'n discourse
fustian wid one's own shadow? O thou invisible
spirit of wine, if thou hast naw name to be known by,
let us call thee devil!
IAGO
What wuz tha dude dat yo' ass followed wid yo' sword? What
had tha dude done to you?
CASSIO
Ah know not.
IAGO
Is't possible?
CASSIO
Ah rememba a mass of things, but nothin' distinctly;
a quarrel, but nothin' wherefore, know what I'm sayin'? O God, dat men
should put an enemy in they mouths to steal away
their brains! dat we should, wid joy, pleasance
revel 'n applause, transform ourselves into beasts!
IAGO
Why, but yo' ass be now well enough: how came yo' ass thus
recovered?
CASSIO
It hath pleased da devil drunkenness to give place
to da devil wrath; one unperfectness shows me
another, to make me frankly despise myself.
IAGO
Come, yo' ass be 'n all severe a moraler: as da time,
the place, 'n da condition of dis country
stands, Ah could heartily wish dis had not befallen;
but, since dat shit be as dat shit is, mend dat shit fo yo' own good.
CASSIO
Ah gots to ax tha dude's ass fo ma place again; tha dude shall tell me
Ah be a drunkard! Had Ah as many mouths as Hydra,
such an answa would stop 'em all n' shit. To be now a
sensible man, by 'n by a fool, 'n presently a
beast! O strange! Every inordinate cup is
unblessed 'n da ingredient be a devil.
IAGO
Come, come, phat 40's be a phat familiar creature,
if dat shit be well used: exclaim naw 'mo against it.
And, phat lieutenant, Ah think yo' ass think Ah love you.
CASSIO
Ah has well approved it, sir n' shit. Ah drunk!
IAGO
Yo' ass or any muthafucka livin' may be drunk! at a time, man.
I'll tell yo' ass what yo' ass shall do n' shit. Our general's wife
is now da general: may say so in dis respect, for
that tha dude hath devoted 'n given up himself to the
contemplation, mark, 'n denotement of ha parts and
graces: confess yourself freely to her; importune
ha help to put yo' ass in yo' place again: tha byatch be of
so free, so kind, so apt, so blessed a disposition,
she holds dat shit a vice in ha goodness not to do more
than tha byatch be requested: dis broken joint between
you 'n ha husband entreat ha to splinter; and, my
fortunes against any lay worth naming, this
crack of yo' love shall grow stronga than dat shit wuz before.
CASSIO
Yo' ass advise me well.
IAGO
Ah protest, in da sincerity of love 'n honest kindness.
CASSIO
Ah think dat shit freely; 'n betimes in da mornin' Ah will
beseech da virtuous Desdemona to undertake fo me:
Ah be desperate of ma fortunes if they cheque me here.
IAGO
Yo' ass be in da right, know what I'm sayin'? Good night, lieutenant; I
must to da watch.
CASSIO: Good night, honest Iago.
Exit
IAGO
And wass tha dude then dat says Ah play da villain?
When dis advice be free Ah give 'n honest,
Probal to thinkin' 'n indeed da course
To win da Moor again? For 'tis most easy
Da inclinin' Desdemona to subdue
In any honest suit: she's framed as fruitful
As da free elements, man. And then fo her
To win da Moor--were't to renounce tha dude's baptism,
All seals 'n symbols of redeemed sin,
Tha dude's soul be so enfetter'd to ha love,
Dat tha byatch may make, unmake, do what tha byatch list,
Even as ha appetite shall play da god
With tha dude's weak function n' shit. How be Ah then a villain
To counsel Cassio to dis parallel course,
Directly to tha dude's good? Divinity of hell!
When devils gots to da blackest sins put on,
They do suggest at first wid heavenly shows,
As Ah do now: fo whiles dis honest fool
Plies Desdemona to repair tha dude's fortunes
And tha byatch fo tha dude's ass pleads strongly to da Moor,
I'll pour dis pestilence into tha dude's ear,
Dat tha byatch repeals tha dude's ass fo ha body's lust;
And by how much tha byatch strives to do tha dude's ass good,
Tha byatch shall undo ha credit wid da Moor.
So gots to Ah turn ha virtue into pitch,
And out of ha own goodness make da net
Dat shall enmesh 'em all.
Re-enta RODERIGO
How now, Roderigo!
RODERIGO
Ah do follow here in da chase, not like a hound that
hunts, but one dat fills up da cry n' shit. My money is
almost spent; Ah has been to-night exceedingly well
cudgelled; 'n Ah think da issue gots to be, Ah shall
have so much experience fo ma pains, 'n so, with
no money at all 'n a little 'mo wit, return again to Venice.
IAGO
How poor be they dat has not patience!
What wound did eva heal but by degrees?
Thou know'st we work by wit, 'n not by witchcraft;
And wit depends on dilatory time.
Does't not go well? Cassio hath beaten thee.
And thou, by dat small hurt, hast cashier'd Cassio:
Though otha things grow fair against da sun,
Yet fruits dat blossom first gots to first be ripe:
Content thyself awhile n' shit. By da mass, 'tis morning;
Pleasure 'n action make da hours seem short.
Retire thee; go where thou art billeted:
Away, Ah say; thou shalt know 'mo hereafter:
Nay, get thee gone.
Exit RODERIGO
Two things be to be done:
My wife gots to move fo Cassio to ha mistress;
I'll set ha on;
Myself da while to draw da Moor apart,
And brin' tha dude's ass jump when tha dude may Cassio find
Solicitin' tha dude's wife: ay, that's da way
Dull not device by coldness 'n delay.
Exit
User Reviews
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-07-17 17:51:56 EDT (#)
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What the fuck? I'm not reading all this shit.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-17 16:59:09 EDT (#)
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You know, it's gonna be funny when you realize you can't even find acceptance on the internet and kill yourself.
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Didn't read a word, thank God.
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Horrible. Die.
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I think you missed the memo. Go back to your TPS reports. Nerd
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You will get no more hits from me, and I urge anyone that sees this to do the same.