Ann Arbor is a Whore (2892 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.52 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lynne (View user info) at 2004-07-18 01:44:32 EDT
It seems like a quiet little town. A downtown with little shops: your classic quaint, urban, university town. But take my word for it if you've never been there; Ann Arbor, Michigan houses some of the most ruthless, cutthroat football fans every football Saturday: fans of University of Michigan football.
I am one of the unlucky ones. I am one of the rare breed of non- Michigan fans who has gone to a football game at Michigan Stadium with plans of cheering for the opposing team. For those who have never witnessed "The Big House" in all of its grandeur, here is as brief of a description as possible:
Michigan Stadium, dubbed by Michigan fans as "The Big House," is the largest college stadium in the United States, and possibly the largest stadium in the world. (Correct me if I'm wrong and there is a bigger one... The Rose Bowl Stadium, maybe?) It seats about 115,000 people, a perfect terrorist target on football Saturdays. Despite it being a source of such pride for fans of University of Michigan athletics, it is a complete shithole. For it to seat so many people, the bleachers are spaced roughly four inches apart and are about two inches wide. It has been undergoing renovations since forever, but nothing ever seems to be changing. The pressbox is straight out of the '50's. The perfect example of economy-sized: big and cheap.
So there I was, a loyal Purdue fan, about to experience the dark side of Michigan athletics. I slowly walked through the tall, iron gates that enclosed certain death to all opposing fans who entered them. All around me, drunken idiots yelled for the home team, idiots with IQ's that proved that there was no way that they had ever graduated from college, much less a university as selective and prestigious as Michigan. That's right, most Michigan fans never even graduated from Michigan. Yes, the secret's out.
I walked past some metal rods strewn across the ground. The smell of body odor and cigarette smoke overwhelmed me: Yes, this area of the stadium was STILL under construction. After navigating my way through a jungle of scrap metal and random wrecking equipment, I somehow found my way to my gate. As I stepped out into the stadium, chants, cheers, yells, and rants overwhelmed me. I carefully obscured the black and gold "PURDUE" that was emblazoned across my sweatshirt by zipping up my coat. I was in enemy territory now. The only way to survive was to pretend to be one of them: a fair-weather college football fan who, at the moment, was cheering for Michigan.
After squeezing my way to my seat past screaming rednecks and the occasional drunken alumni, blabbing about the good old days when he still was a student, I finally found my seat. Behind the band. Of course. Just my luck. The band stands up for the entire game. Especially when the football team kills a team as badly as they did Purdue this particular game. Play after excruciating play the crowd went wild, shoving me in all directions with their wild gesticulations and crazy cheers. Touchdown after pitiful touchdown, they screamed their nauseating fight song into my ears until I thought that I would be sick all over each and every one of them. It was a one of a kind experience, but one that I would not readily subject myself to in the near future.
So after about three hours of watching my beloved Purdue Boilermakers be thrashed by the ruthless opposition, the game finally ended. I quickly made my way to the exit, trying my best to act like a loyal Michigan fan to avoid any sort of harassment. I walked as quickly as possible to my car, and successfully made a clean getaway.
This entire experience only has taught me one lesson. Sometimes it is best and most convenient to go along with the majority, that damn, drunken, idiotic, crazy majority.
Here is me, scared out of my mind, entering the lion's den.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-13 18:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-19 19:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you're good looking.
Snuggles wanted me to tell you that he jerks off to this pic while he's in jail.
Submitted by kev at 2004-09-07 00:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you think Michigan Stadium is bad for opposing fans try going to a Wisconsin game at Camp Randal...it doesn't even compare. Until I went to a game at the big house I didn't know it was possible for such a big stadium to be so quiet. There are a lot of Michigan fans, but most of them suck.
Ann Arbor is a Whore
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40302
UberCon: Michigan
Submitted by bean (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I know it is the biggest stadium in the USA, but it only allows for 14 inches of ass room per seat. Over here at Beaver, you get 16 inches. Go Penn State!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, happy birthday for sure..!
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-31 21:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cornnugget - you are quick to respond!
Happy birthday Lynne!
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-31 18:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm actually going to Ann Arbor tomorrow to go shopping... It's my birthday!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A few of us have had a Mini-Uber... I'm def planning an UberArbor.
I'll plan it and post about it tomorrow perhaps.
But yeah, Herpes, Not Apologizing, Lana and I met up back in Jan... we've all hung out a few times since then.
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-31 14:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YAY FOR MICHIGAN UBERCON!!!
Michiganders only... I like that.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-30 20:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I came back to this post randomly....
dude, one day, we should have a mini ubercon. Michigan people only.
Arsenal --- I live super close to MSU.
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2004-07-30 11:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The only bad thing about Ann Arbor is U of M. I've lived here since I was one. It's great in the summer when all those fuckers are gone. Maybe I just feel this way because now I go to MSU.
You are hot, how old are you?
Submitted by almsd (user info) at 2004-07-30 11:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Youre hot.
Submitted by TheToddfather (user info) at 2004-07-23 18:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The only thing worse than a post about sports fans is.... wait a minute... there is nothing worse... And you bug authors for posting political stuff? Ugh!
Submitted by DaBaddestHic (user info) at 2004-07-21 16:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lynne, I'm actually going into Computer Technology. My roomate is going into mechanical engineering however. I need to call him actually and figure out who's taking what to the dorm.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-07-21 14:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooooooohoooooooooo for someone in Ann Arbor cheering against Michigan. I fucking HATE Michigan.
GO BUCKS!!!
I think you may be right about it being the biggest. I know the Buckeyes recently expanded the Horseshoe to put it well over 100,000, but I don't think it's quite that big.
Submitted by akrofiild (user info) at 2004-07-21 13:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't judge the Deuce based on the possibly misguided passion of the Wolverine fans.
Football is boring as fuck.
Hockey is more boring.
How braindead do you have to be to watch baseball?
The biggest stadium use to be in Poland and it could hold up to 250,000 people. That one is out of commision so the current biggest stadium is in Brazil. It can accomidate 200,000 fans.
PS American standards for size and devotion when it comes to sports is pale in comparison to the world of soccer.
PPS Soccer is boring too.
PPPS Go 'stones
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-21 13:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep I still get a boner.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-21 13:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The name sounds vaguely familiar, but who knows. I moved away from there maaaany years ago.
So anyway, if you end up going to U of M, maybe I'll see you there! :)
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-21 12:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Smoky- I think U of M is better... but it depends on the poll. The one that I'm referring to, one done by Design Intelligence, ranks U of M at I think 4th in the nation- pretty impressive, considering that it beats out Notre Dame, Harvard, and MIT. Michigan is considered an Ivy League Public School.
ThatOneGirl- I'm from the Kalamazoo area-- Mattawan.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-21 12:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 for not being ugly.
The post was rather 'meh' though, -1
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-07-20 23:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
U of M blows. They have awful site lines due to expansions to pass my beloved Neyland stadium. Which architecture program is rated higher? U of M or TN? It is one of the highest rated programs at TN I know.
When Peyton Manning did not get the Heisman I thought it was as low as an award could sink. Then Arafat got the Nobel peace prize.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-20 22:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh.. I have a friend at Purdue. He switched OUT of engineering.
Lynne, I forgot to ask though - whereabouts in Michigan are you?
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-20 22:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DaBaddestHic (user info) at 2004-07-20 15:59:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being a Purdue fan, I'm about to go there for college.
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Boiler Up!!! My entire family went to Purdue. It's a pretty badass party school. Are you looking into engineering?
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-20 16:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup, in-state. I live in the lovely suburbs near MSU. (Yes, I'm a traitor!) I had no idea out of state tuition costs that much! That's a sum big enough to rival private colleges...
Architecture sounds pretty interesting. I'm leaning towards journalism. Because, you know, the world definitely needs more journalists!
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-20 16:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey, where are you from now? In-State, I hope... Out of state tuition is out of control for Michigan. Tuition and fees per year is about $37,000.
Where else are you applying? I've got my choices narrowed to UofM, Notre Dame, or University of Illinois... I plan on studying architecture.
***********
$37,000 for a year thats fucking ridiculous, American universities are over rated.
Submitted by DaBaddestHic (user info) at 2004-07-20 15:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being a Purdue fan, I'm about to go there for college.
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-20 14:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, where are you from now? In-State, I hope... Out of state tuition is out of control for Michigan. Tuition and fees per year is about $37,000.
Where else are you applying? I've got my choices narrowed to UofM, Notre Dame, or University of Illinois... I plan on studying architecture.
What about you?
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-20 13:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:21:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Undergrad... That's right, I'm a young 'un. You?
-----------------------------------
Me too. Getting ready for the whirlwind world of college apps. Judging by your reply earlier, so are you! Oh won't it be a blast? heh
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-20 01:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aww, Snuggles, you're so romantic.
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your face still gives me an erection.
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Undergrad... That's right, I'm a young 'un. You?
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-19 19:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-18 12:54:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
J0andre- Hey, I live like 15 miles away from Western Michigan
ThatOneGirl- Talk to me in about a year; I'll probably end up going to U of M... Then we can unite and both yell "Go Blue"
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I actually used to live in Kzoo at one point!
On another note, I am also seriously thinking about UMich - #1 on my list. Yay. Were you referring to undergrad or grad school?
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-19 10:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Big Ten football is overrated. Go Big 12!
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-07-18 20:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who's that chick on the stairs? she's pretty hot
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-18 20:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
antluvdog- do you cheer for the Chargers now that Drew Brees is there? He is a stud.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-07-18 19:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Purdue was on my favorites list when Drew Brees was there.
Michigan was my favorite in 92.
You're cute.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-07-18 16:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The title alone speaks volumes of truth.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-18 15:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey falco, nothing wrong with an oblong head..... i think i said that when it was like 3 or something, Thinking isn't my highest priority when i'm up that late.
Submitted by Dino (user info) at 2004-07-18 15:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, Michigan football is good.
Go Bulldogs!
girlreporter - Sorry but The "Chips" have sucked ever since they gave in to political correctness.
They're almost as bad as Ferris!
Go Michi-ubers!!!!!!
Submitted by denim9 (user info) at 2004-07-18 15:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Lynne
User id: 4931
Registered on or around: 2004-01-14 22:31:43
# Messages posted: 5
# Reviews written: 148
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 66
# Hits: 958
Average rating of all messages: 0.89
Thanks! (Oh, and you have really cute cheekbones)
Submitted by girlreporter (user info) at 2004-07-18 14:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fire up Chips?
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-18 14:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when can we fuck?
Submitted by Randy Joe at 2004-07-18 13:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about yelling American Football IS GAY! And then showing us your tits.
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-18 12:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
J0andre- Hey, I live like 15 miles away from Western Michigan
ThatOneGirl- Talk to me in about a year; I'll probably end up going to U of M... Then we can unite and both yell "Go Blue"
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-18 12:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At first I planned to give a fat -2 with "Go Blue" as the only comment... but it was a cute post.
Seems like this post is bringing all the Michiganders out of the woodwork. Woot.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-18 12:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup. You're pretty cute.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-07-18 12:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you said I look like someone you know...but I don't recognize you.
good story though.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-07-18 10:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The last game I went to at that stadium was Michigan vs. Michigan state. Of course I was wearing all Michigan State stuff...
A friend was having a party there and they had one of those inflatable moon bouncy things in their front yard. Me and a couple friends got in it and started bouncing around. Then... some drunk asshole Michigan fan got in and started talking shit to us because of our Michigan State stuff. So we bum rushed him.
He gave me a bloody nose.
Now I just root for the WMU Broncos
woo...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-18 07:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-18 07:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when me and pmj were at evil dead last night we were beside some ann arbor'ers, they were alright.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-18 06:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey- I live right near that staduim. I hate games. Backs up the whole city.
And Herpes- you sure do know how to talk to the ladies! Pimp!
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-18 05:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-18 04:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-18 02:40:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
alright, all the american football players in full gear vs. all the soccer players in shin guards and cups. Lets see who'll win this.
and.... Lynne is hot.
--------------
Doing what?>
Did i mention soccer? No. I said rugby.
I think your oblong head isnt getting enough blood.
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-07-18 04:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Non-gastropodlike features, you are cute mam, but what does that mean? Online, you are cute, but when faced with the real world you are cute, but not as cute due to the total hawtness that emenates from Takayama. For he is the HAWT one, we all must bow to him and have sex under the cover of his clef lip.
Submitted by Worm (user info) at 2004-07-18 04:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Michigan and Purdue both suck.
Go Gophers.
You are pretty hot though... I'll give you that.
Oh yeah, you wrote pretty well too.
Submitted by Parker (user info) at 2004-07-18 03:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Moot point...SC owns all aforementioned schools.
Submitted by MaryG <MaryG.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-18 03:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What?
Who the hell's Anne Arbor????
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-07-18 03:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Next time you're in Ann Arbor, call me. It's not where I'm from, but close enough for me to see it as worthwhile to drive there and fuck you hardcore monkey style in the pooper.
P.S. Show me your tits.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-18 02:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alright, all the american football players in full gear vs. all the soccer players in shin guards and cups. Lets see who'll win this.
and.... Lynne is hot.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-18 02:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to give you zero for writing a post about the biggest crock of shit ever.
American football = sport for pussies.
PLAY A REAL GAME LIKE RUGBY YOU FAGGOT YANKS!
***
Lynne. Only the top line applies to you.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-18 02:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Correct me if I'm wrong and there is a bigger one... The Rose Bowl Stadium, maybe?) "
Yes, there are a few larger.
And yes you are cute.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-18 02:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can i give you a hi five?
on your ass?
All joking aside, i liked your post and you're quite cute.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-07-18 01:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha you like purdue
in michigan its not safe to root for anyone but michigan
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-18 01:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, the picture's a little wide, so you kind of have to scroll back and forth.
-2 to me for not cropping...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-18 01:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yur purdy