Act III - I dare you all not to review this post! (528 hits)
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Submitted by Fenrir (View user info) at 2004-07-19 10:32:37 EDT
Othello, da Moore of Venice 'n shit (Act III) - I dare you all not to review this post.
ACT I: http://www.ubersite.com/m/38601
ACT II: http://www.ubersite.com/m/38702
ACT III
SCENE I, man. Before da castle.
Enta CASSIO 'n some Musicians
CASSIO
Masters, play here; Ah gots to content yo' pains;
Somethin' that's brief; 'n bid 'Good morrow, general.'
Music
Enta Clown
Clown
Why masters, has yo' instruments been in Naples,
that they speak i' da nose thus?
First Musician
How, sir, how!
Clown
Are these, Ah pray you, wind-instruments?
First Musician
Ay, marry, be they, sir.
Clown
O, thereby hangs a tail.
First Musician
Whereby hangs a tale, sir?
Clown
Marry, man. sir, by many a wind-instrument dat Ah know.
But, masters, here's money fo you: 'n da general
so likes yo' music, dat tha dude desires you, fo love's
sake, to make naw 'mo noise wid it.
First Musician
Well, sir, we gots to not.
Clown
If yo' ass has any music dat may not be heard, to't
again: but, as they say to hear music da general
does not greatly care.
First Musician
We has none such, sir.
Clown
Then put up yo' pipes in yo' bag, fo I'll away:
go; vanish into air; away!
Exeunt Musicians
CASSIO
Dost thou hear, ma honest friend?
Clown
No, Ah hear not yo' honest friend; Ah hear you.
CASSIO
Prithee, keep up thy quillets, know what I'm sayin'? There's a poor piece
of gold fo thee: if da gentlewoman dat attends
the general's wife be stirring, tell ha there's
one Cassio entreats ha a little favour of speech:
wilt thou do this?
Clown
Tha byatch be stirring, sir: if tha byatch gots to stir hither, I
shall seem to notify unto her.
CASSIO
Do, phat ma friend.
Exit Clown
Enta IAGO
In happy time, Iago.
IAGO
Yo' ass has not been a-bed, then?
CASSIO
Why, no; da day had broke
Before we parted, know what I'm sayin'? Ah has made bold, Iago,
To send in to yo' wife: ma suit to her
Is, dat tha byatch gots to to virtuous Desdemona
Procure me some access.
IAGO
I'll send ha to yo' ass presently;
And I'll devise a mean to draw da Moor
Out of da way, dat yo' converse 'n business
May be 'mo free.
CASSIO
Ah humbly tank yo' ass for't.
Exit IAGO
Ah neva knew
A Florentine 'mo kind 'n honest.
Enta EMILIA
EMILIA
Good morrow, phat Lieutenant: Ah be sorry
For yo' displeasure; but all gots to sure be well.
Da general 'n tha dude's wife be talkin' of it;
And tha byatch speaks fo yo' ass stoutly: da Moor replies,
Dat tha dude yo' ass hurt be of phat fame in Cyprus,
And phat affinity, 'n dat in wholesome wisdom
He might not but refuse you; but tha dude protests tha dude loves you
And needs naw otha suitor but tha dude's likings
To take da safest occasion by da front
To brin' yo' ass in again.
CASSIO
Yet, Ah beseech you,
If yo' ass think fit, or dat that shit may be done,
Give me advantage of some brief discourse
With Desdemona alone.
EMILIA
Pray you, come in;
Ah gots to bestow yo' ass where yo' ass shall has time
To speak yo' bosom freely.
CASSIO
Ah be much bound to you.
Exeunt
SCENE II, know what I'm sayin'? A room in da castle.
Enta OTHELLO, IAGO, 'n Gentlemen
OTHELLO
These letters give, Iago, to da pilot;
And by tha dude's ass do ma duties to da senate:
Dat done, Ah gots to be walkin' on da works;
Repair there to me.
IAGO
Well, ma phat lord, I'll do't.
OTHELLO
This fortification, gentlemen, shall we see't?
Gentleman
We'll wait upon yo' lordship.
Exeunt
SCENE III n' shit. Da garden of da castle.
Enta DESDEMONA, CASSIO, 'n EMILIA
DESDEMONA
Be thou assured, phat Cassio, Ah gots to do
All ma abilities in thy behalf.
EMILIA
Good madam, do: Ah warrant dat shit grieves ma husband,
As if da case wuz his.
DESDEMONA
O, that's an honest fellow, man. Do not doubt, Cassio,
But Ah gots to has ma lord 'n yo' ass again
As friendly as yo' ass were.
CASSIO
Bounteous madam,
Whateva shall become of Michael Cassio,
He's neva any thin' but yo' true servant.
DESDEMONA
Ah know't; Ah tank you n' shit. Yo' ass do love ma lord:
Yo' ass has known tha dude's ass long; 'n be yo' ass well assured
He shall in strangeness stand naw furtha off
Than in a polite distance.
CASSIO
Ay, but, lady,
Dat policy may eitha last so long,
Or feed upon such nice 'n waterish diet,
Or breed itself so out of circumstance,
That, Ah bein' absent 'n ma place supplied,
My general gots to forget ma love 'n service.
DESDEMONA
Do not doubt that; before Emilia here
Ah give thee warrant of thy place: assure thee,
If Ah do vow a friendship, I'll perform it
To da last article: ma lord shall neva rest;
I'll watch tha dude's ass tame 'n talk tha dude's ass out of patience;
Tha dude's bed shall seem a school, tha dude's board a shrift;
I'll intermingle every thin' tha dude does
With Cassio's suit: therefore be merry, Cassio;
For thy solicitor shall ratha die
Than give thy cause away.
EMILIA
Madam, here comes ma lord.
CASSIO
Madam, I'll take ma leave.
DESDEMONA
Why, stay, 'n hear me speak.
CASSIO
Madam, not now: Ah be very ill at ease,
Unfit fo mine own purposes.
DESDEMONA
Well, do yo' discretion.
Exit CASSIO
Enta OTHELLO 'n IAGO
IAGO
Ha! Ah like not that.
OTHELLO
What dost thou say?
IAGO
Nothing, ma lord: or if--Ah know not what.
OTHELLO
Was not dat Cassio parted from ma wife?
IAGO
Cassio, ma lord! No, sure, Ah cannot think it,
Dat tha dude would steal away so guilty-like,
Seein' yo' ass coming.
OTHELLO
Ah do believe 'twas he.
DESDEMONA
How now, ma lord!
Ah has been talkin' wid a suitor here,
A muthafucka dat languishes in yo' displeasure.
OTHELLO
Who is't yo' ass mean?
DESDEMONA
Why, yo' lieutenant, Cassio n' shit. Good ma lord,
If Ah has any grace or powa to move you,
Tha dude's present reconciliation take;
For if tha dude be not one dat truly loves you,
Dat errs in ignorance 'n not in cunning,
Ah has naw judgment in an honest face:
Ah prithee, call tha dude's ass back.
OTHELLO
Went tha dude hence now?
DESDEMONA
Ay, sooth; so humbled
Dat tha dude hath left part of tha dude's grief wid me,
To suffa wid him, man. Good love, call tha dude's ass back.
OTHELLO
Not now, sweet Desdemona; some otha time.
DESDEMONA
But shall't be shortly?
OTHELLO
Da sooner, sweet, fo you.
DESDEMONA
Shall't be to-night at supper?
OTHELLO
No, not to-night.
DESDEMONA
To-morrow dinner, then?
OTHELLO
Ah shall not dine at home;
Ah meet da captains at da citadel.
DESDEMONA
Why, then, to-morrow night; or Tuesday morn;
On Tuesday noon, or night; on Wednesday morn:
Ah prithee, name da time, but let dat shit not
Exceed three days: in faith, he's penitent;
And yet tha dude's trespass, in our common reason--
Save that, they say, da wars gots to make examples
Out of they best--is not almost a fault
To incur a private cheque, know what I'm sayin'? When shall tha dude come?
Tell me, Othello: Ah wonda in ma soul,
What yo' ass would ax me, dat Ah should deny,
Or stand so mammerin' on, know what I'm sayin'? What! Michael Cassio,
Dat came a-wooin' wid you, 'n so many a time,
When Ah has spoke of yo' ass dispraisingly,
Hath ta'en yo' part; to has so much to do
To brin' tha dude's ass in! Trust me, Ah could do much,--
OTHELLO
Prithee, naw more: let tha dude's ass come when tha dude will;
Ah gots to deny thee nothing.
DESDEMONA
Why, dis be not a boon;
'Tis as Ah should entreat yo' ass wear yo' gloves,
Or feed on nourishin' dishes, or keep yo' ass warm,
Or sue to yo' ass to do a peculiar profit
To yo' own person: nay, when Ah has a suit
Wherein Ah mean to touch yo' love indeed,
It shall be full of poise 'n difficult weight
And fearful to be granted.
OTHELLO
Ah gots to deny thee nothing:
Whereon, Ah do beseech thee, grant me this,
To leave me but a little to myself.
DESDEMONA
Shall Ah deny you? no: farewell, ma lord.
OTHELLO
Farewell, ma Desdemona: I'll come to thee straight.
DESDEMONA
Emilia, come, man. Be as yo' fancies teach you;
Whate'a yo' ass be, Ah be obedient.
Exeunt DESDEMONA 'n EMILIA
OTHELLO
Excellent wretch! Perdition catch ma soul,
But Ah do love thee! 'n when Ah love thee not,
Chaos be come again.
IAGO
My noble lord--
OTHELLO
What dost thou say, Iago?
IAGO
Did Michael Cassio, when yo' ass woo'd ma lady,
Know of yo' love?
OTHELLO
He did, from first to last: why dost thou ask?
IAGO
But fo a satisfaction of ma thought;
Naw furtha harm.
OTHELLO
Why of thy thought, Iago?
IAGO
Ah did not think tha dude had been acquainted wid her.
OTHELLO
O, yes; 'n went between us very oft.
IAGO
Indeed!
OTHELLO
Indeed! ay, indeed: discern'st thou aught in that?
Is tha dude not honest?
IAGO
Honest, ma lord!
OTHELLO
Honest! ay, honest.
IAGO
My lord, fo aught Ah know.
OTHELLO
What dost thou think?
IAGO
Think, ma lord!
OTHELLO
Think, ma lord!
By heaven, tha dude echoes me,
As if there wuz some monsta in tha dude's thought
Too hideous to be shown, know what I'm sayin'? Thou dost mean something:
Ah heard thee say even now, thou likedst not that,
When Cassio left ma wife: what didst not like?
And when Ah told thee tha dude wuz of ma counsel
In ma whole course of wooing, thou criedst 'Indeed!'
And didst contract 'n purse thy brow together,
As if thou then hadst shut up in thy brain
Some horrible conceit: if thou dost love me,
Show me thy thought.
IAGO
My lord, yo' ass know Ah love you.
OTHELLO
Ah think thou dost;
And, fo Ah know thou'rt full of love 'n honesty,
And weigh'st thy words before thou givest 'em breath,
Therefore these stops of thine fright me da more:
For such things in a false disloyal knave
Are tricks of custom, but in a muthafucka that's just
They be close delations, workin' from da heart
Dat passion cannot rule.
IAGO
For Michael Cassio,
Ah dare be sworn Ah think dat tha dude be honest.
OTHELLO
Ah think so too.
IAGO
Muthafuckas should be what they seem;
Or those dat be not, would they might seem none!
OTHELLO
Certain, muthafuckas should be what they seem.
IAGO
Why, then, Ah think Cassio's an honest man.
OTHELLO
Nay, yet there's 'mo in this:
Ah prithee, speak to me as to thy thinkings,
As thou dost ruminate, 'n give thy worst of thoughts
Da worst of words.
IAGO
Good ma lord, pardon me:
Though Ah be bound to every act of duty,
Ah be not bound to dat all slaves be free to.
Utta ma thoughts? Why, say they be vile 'n false;
As where's dat palace whereinto foul things
Sometimes intrude not? who has a breast so pure,
But some uncleanly apprehensions
Keep leets 'n law-days 'n in session sit
With meditations lawful?
OTHELLO
Thou dost conspire against thy friend, Iago,
If thou but think'st tha dude's ass wrong'd 'n makest tha dude's ear
A stranga to thy thoughts.
IAGO
Ah do beseech you--
Though Ah perchance be vicious in ma guess,
As, Ah confess, dat shit be ma nature's plague
To spy into abuses, 'n oft ma jealousy
Shapes faults dat be not--that yo' wisdom yet,
From one dat so imperfectly conceits,
Would take naw notice, nor build yourself a trouble
Out of tha dude's scatterin' 'n unsure observance.
It wuz not fo yo' quiet nor yo' good,
Nor fo ma manhood, honesty, or wisdom,
To let yo' ass know ma thoughts.
OTHELLO
What dost thou mean?
IAGO
Good name in muthafucka 'n woman, dear ma lord,
Is da immediate jewel of they souls:
Who steals ma purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing;
'Twas mine, 'tis his, 'n has been slave to thousands:
But tha dude dat filches from me ma phat name
Robs me of dat which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.
OTHELLO
By heaven, I'll know thy thoughts.
IAGO
Yo' ass cannot, if ma heart wuz in yo' hand;
Nor shall not, whilst 'tis in ma custody.
OTHELLO
Ha!
IAGO
O, beware, ma lord, of jealousy;
It be da green-eyed monsta which doth mock
Da meat dat shit feeds on; dat cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of tha dude's fate, loves not tha dude's wronger;
But, O, what damned minutes tells tha dude o'er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
OTHELLO
O misery!
IAGO
Poor 'n content be rich 'n rich enough,
But riches fineless be as poor as winter
To tha dude's ass dat eva fears tha dude shall be poor.
Good heaven, da souls of all ma tribe defend
From jealousy!
OTHELLO
Why, why be this?
Think'st thou I'ld make a lie of jealousy,
To follow still da changes of da moon
With fresh suspicions? No; to be once in doubt
Is once to be resolved: exchange me fo a goat,
When Ah shall turn da business of ma soul
To such exsufflicate 'n blown surmises,
Matchin' thy inference, man. 'Tis not to make me jealous
To say ma wife be fair, feeds well, loves company,
Is free of speech, sings, plays 'n dances well;
Where virtue is, these be 'mo virtuous:
Nor from mine own weak merits gots to Ah draw
Da smallest fear or doubt of ha revolt;
For tha byatch had eyes, 'n chose me, man. No, Iago;
I'll see before Ah doubt; when Ah doubt, prove;
And on da proof, there be naw 'mo but this,--
Away at once wid love or jealousy!
IAGO
Ah be glad of it; fo now Ah shall has reason
To show da love 'n duty dat Ah bear you
With franka spirit: therefore, as Ah be bound,
Receive dat shit from me, man. Ah speak not yet of proof.
Look to yo' wife; observe ha well wid Cassio;
Wear yo' eye thus, not jealous nor secure:
Ah would not has yo' free 'n noble nature,
Out of self-bounty, be abused; look to't:
Ah know our country disposition well;
In Venice they do let heaven see da pranks
They dare not show they husbands; they best conscience
Is not to leave't undone, but keep't unknown.
OTHELLO
Dost thou say so?
IAGO
Tha byatch did deceive ha father, marryin' you;
And when tha byatch seem'd to shake 'n fear yo' looks,
Tha byatch loved 'em most.
OTHELLO
And so tha byatch did.
IAGO
Why, go to then;
Tha byatch that, so young, could give out such a seeming,
To seal ha father's eyes up close as oak-
He thought 'twas witchcraft--but Ah be much to blame;
Ah humbly do beseech yo' ass of yo' pardon
For 'n all much lovin' you.
OTHELLO
Ah be bound to thee fo ever.
IAGO
Ah see dis hath a little dash'd yo' spirits.
OTHELLO
Not a jot, not a jot.
IAGO
I' faith, Ah fear dat shit has.
Ah hope yo' ass gots to consida what be spoke
Comes from ma love, man. But Ah do see you's moved:
Ah be to pray yo' ass not to strain ma speech
To grossa issues nor to larga reach
Than to suspicion.
OTHELLO
Ah gots to not.
IAGO
Should yo' ass do so, ma lord,
My speech should fall into such vile success
As ma thoughts aim not at, man. Cassio's ma worthy friend--
My lord, Ah see you's moved.
OTHELLO
No, not much moved:
Ah do not think but Desdemona's honest.
IAGO
Long live tha byatch so! 'n long live yo' ass to think so!
OTHELLO
And yet, how nature errin' from itself,--
IAGO
Ay, there's da point: as--to be bold wid you--
Not to affect many proposed matches
Of ha own clime, complexion, 'n degree,
Whereto we see in all things nature tends--
Foh! one may smell in such a gots to most rank,
Foul disproportion thoughts unnatural.
But pardon me; Ah do not in position
Distinctly speak of her; though Ah may fear
Ha will, recoilin' to ha betta judgment,
May fall to match yo' ass wid ha country forms
And happily repent.
OTHELLO
Farewell, farewell:
If 'mo thou dost perceive, let me know more;
Set on thy wife to observe: leave me, Iago:
IAGO
[Going] My lord, Ah take ma leave.
OTHELLO
Why did Ah marry? Dis honest creature doubtless
Sees 'n knows more, much more, than tha dude unfolds.
IAGO
[Returning] My lord, Ah would Ah might entreat
your honour
To scan dis thin' naw further; leave dat shit to time:
Though dat shit be fit dat Cassio has tha dude's place,
For sure, tha dude fills dat shit up wid phat ability,
Yet, if yo' ass please to hold tha dude's ass off awhile,
Yo' ass shall by dat perceive tha dude's ass 'n tha dude's means:
Note, if yo' ho strain tha dude's entertainment
With any strong or vehement importunity;
Much gots to be seen in that n' shit. In da mean time,
Let me be thought 'n all busy in ma fears--
As worthy cause Ah has to fear Ah am--
And hold ha free, Ah do beseech yo' honour.
OTHELLO
Fear not ma government.
IAGO
Ah once 'mo take ma leave.
Exit
OTHELLO
This fellow's of exceedin' honesty,
And knows all qualities, wid a learned spirit,
Of human dealings, man. If Ah do prove ha haggard,
Though dat ha jesses wuz ma dear heartstrings,
I'ld whistle ha off 'n let ha down da wind,
To pray at fortune n' shit. Haply, fo Ah be black
And has not those soft parts of conversation
Dat chamberers have, or fo Ah be declined
Into da vale of years,--yet that's not much--
She's gone n' shit. Ah be abused; 'n ma relief
Must be to loathe her, know what I'm sayin'? O curse of marriage,
Dat we can call these delicate creatures ours,
And not they appetites! Ah had ratha be a toad,
And live upon da vapour of a dungeon,
Than keep a corna in da thin' Ah love
For others' uses, know what I'm sayin'? Yet, 'tis da plague of phat ones;
Prerogatived be they less than da base;
'Tis destiny unshunnable, like death:
Even then dis forked plague be fated to us
When we do quicken, know what I'm sayin'? Desdemona comes:
Re-enta DESDEMONA 'n EMILIA
If tha byatch be false, O, then heaven mocks itself!
I'll not believe't.
DESDEMONA
How now, ma dear Othello!
Yo' dinner, 'n da generous islanders
By yo' ass invited, do attend yo' presence.
OTHELLO
Ah be to blame.
DESDEMONA
Why do yo' ass speak so faintly?
Are yo' ass not well?
OTHELLO
Ah has a pain upon ma forehead here.
DESDEMONA
'Faith, that's wid watching; 'twill away again:
Let me but bind dat shit hard, within dis hour
It gots to be well.
OTHELLO
Yo' napkin be 'n all little:
He puts da handkerchief from him; 'n dat shit drops
Let dat shit alone n' shit. Come, I'll go in wid you.
DESDEMONA
Ah be very sorry dat yo' ass be not well.
Exeunt OTHELLO 'n DESDEMONA
EMILIA
Ah be glad Ah has found dis napkin:
This wuz ha first remembrance from da Moor:
My wayward husband hath a hundred times
Woo'd me to steal it; but tha byatch so loves da token,
For tha dude conjured ha tha byatch should eva keep it,
Dat tha byatch reserves dat shit evermore about her
To kiss 'n talk to, know what I'm sayin'? I'll has da work ta'en out,
And give't Iago: what tha dude gots to do wid it
Heaven knows, not I;
Ah nothin' but to please tha dude's fantasy.
Re-enta Iago
IAGO
How now! what do yo' ass here alone?
EMILIA
Do not yo' ass chide; Ah has a thin' fo you.
IAGO
A thin' fo me? dat shit be a common thing--
EMILIA
Ha!
IAGO
To has a foolish wife.
EMILIA
O, be dat all? What gots to yo' ass give me now
For da same handkerchief?
IAGO
What handkerchief?
EMILIA
What handkerchief?
Why, dat da Moor first gave to Desdemona;
Dat which so often yo' ass did bid me steal.
IAGO
Hast stol'n dat shit from her?
EMILIA
No, 'faith; tha byatch let dat shit drop by negligence.
And, to da advantage, I, bein' here, took't up.
Look, here dat shit is.
IAGO
A phat wench; give dat shit me.
EMILIA
What gots to yo' ass do wid 't, dat yo' ass has been
so earnest
To has me filch it?
IAGO
[Snatchin' it] Why, wass dat to you?
EMILIA
If dat shit be not fo some purpose of import,
Give't me again: poor lady, she'll run mad
When tha byatch shall lack it.
IAGO
Be not acknown on 't; Ah has use fo it.
Go, leave me.
Exit EMILIA
Ah gots to in Cassio's lodgin' lose dis napkin,
And let tha dude's ass find it, man. Trifles light as air
Are to da jealous confirmations strong
As proofs of holy writ: dis may do something.
Da Moor already changes wid ma poison:
Dangerous conceits are, in they natures, poisons.
Which at da first be scarce found to distaste,
But wid a little act upon da blood.
Burn like da mines of Sulphur n' shit. Ah did say so:
Look, where tha dude comes!
Re-enta OTHELLO
Not poppy, nor mandragora,
Nor all da drowsy syrups of da world,
Shall eva medicine thee to dat sweet sleep
Which thou owedst yesterday.
OTHELLO
Ha! ha! false to me?
IAGO
Why, how now, general! naw 'mo of that.
OTHELLO
Avaunt! be gone! thou hast set me on da rack:
Ah swear 'tis betta to be much abused
Than but to know't a little.
IAGO
How now, ma lord!
OTHELLO
What sense had Ah of ha stol'n hours of lust?
Ah saw't not, thought dat shit not, dat shit harm'd not me:
Ah slept da next night well, wuz free 'n merry;
Ah found not Cassio's kisses on ha lips:
He dat be robb'd, not wantin' what be stol'n,
Let tha dude's ass not know't, 'n he's not robb'd at all.
IAGO
Ah be sorry to hear this.
OTHELLO
Ah had been happy, if da general camp,
Pioners 'n all, had tasted ha sweet body,
So Ah had nothin' known, man. O, now, fo ever
Farewell da tranquil mind! farewell content!
Farewell da plumed troop, 'n da big ass wars,
Dat make ambition virtue! O, farewell!
Farewell da neighin' steed, 'n da shrill trump,
Da spirit-stirrin' drum, da ear-piercin' fife,
Da royal banner, 'n all quality,
Pride, pomp 'n circumstance of glorious war!
And, O yo' ass mortal engines, whose rude throats
Da immortal Jove's dead clamours counterfeit,
Farewell! Othello's occupation's gone!
IAGO
Is't possible, ma lord?
OTHELLO
Villain, be sure thou prove ma love a whore,
Be sure of it; give me da ocular proof:
Or by da worth of man's eternal soul,
Thou hadst been betta has been born a dog
Than answa ma waked wrath!
IAGO
Is't come to this?
OTHELLO
Make me to see't; or, at da least, so prove it,
Dat da probation bear naw hinge nor loop
To hang a doubt on; or woe upon thy life!
IAGO
My noble lord,--
OTHELLO
If thou dost slanda ha 'n torture me,
Neva pray more; abandon all remorse;
On horror's head horrors accumulate;
Do deeds to make heaven weep, all earth amazed;
For nothin' canst thou to damnation add
Greata than that.
IAGO
O grace! O heaven forgive me!
Are yo' ass a man? has yo' ass a soul or sense?
God be wi' you; take mine office, know what I'm sayin'? O wretched fool.
Dat livest to make thine honesty a vice!
O monstrous world! Take note, take note, O world,
To be direct 'n honest be not safe.
Ah tank yo' ass fo dis profit; 'n from hence
I'll love naw friend, sith love breeds such offence.
OTHELLO
Nay, stay: thou shouldst be honest.
IAGO
Ah should be wise, fo honesty's a fool
And loses dat that shit works for.
OTHELLO
By da world,
Ah think ma wife be honest 'n think tha byatch be not;
Ah think dat thou art just 'n think thou art not.
I'll has some proof n' shit. Ha name, dat wuz as fresh
As Dian's visage, be now begrimed 'n black
As mine own face, know what I'm sayin'? If there be cords, or knives,
Poison, or fire, or suffocatin' streams,
I'll not endure it, man. Would Ah wuz satisfied!
IAGO
Ah see, sir, yo' ass be eaten up wid passion:
Ah do repent me dat Ah put dat shit to you.
Yo' ass would be satisfied?
OTHELLO
Would! nay, Ah will.
IAGO
And may: but, how? how satisfied, ma lord?
Would you, da supervisor, grossly gape on--
Behold ha topp'd?
OTHELLO
Death 'n damnation! O!
IAGO
It wuz a tedious difficulty, Ah think,
To brin' 'em to dat prospect: damn 'em then,
If eva mortal eyes do see 'em bolster
More than they own! What then? how then?
What shall Ah say? Where's satisfaction?
It be impossible yo' ass should see this,
Were they as prime as goats, as hot as monkeys,
As salt as wolves in pride, 'n fools as gross
As ignorance made drunk, know what I'm sayin'? But yet, Ah say,
If imputation 'n strong circumstances,
Which lead directly to da door of truth,
Will give yo' ass satisfaction, yo' ass may have't.
OTHELLO
Give me a livin' reason she's disloyal.
IAGO
Ah do not like da office:
But, sith Ah be enter'd in dis cause so far,
Prick'd to't by foolish honesty 'n love,
Ah gots to go on, know what I'm sayin'? Ah lay wid Cassio lately;
And, bein' troubled wid a ragin' tooth,
Ah could not sleep.
There be a kind of muthafuckas so loose of soul,
Dat in they sleeps gots to mutta they affairs:
One of dis kind be Cassio:
In sleep Ah heard tha dude's ass say 'Sweet Desdemona,
Let us be wary, let us hide our loves;'
And then, sir, would tha dude gripe 'n wrin' ma hand,
Cry 'O sweet creature!' 'n then kiss me hard,
As if tha dude pluck'd up kisses by da roots
Dat grew upon ma lips: then laid tha dude's leg
Ova ma thigh, 'n sigh'd, 'n kiss'd; 'n then
Cried 'Cursed fate dat gave thee to da Moor!'
OTHELLO
O monstrous! monstrous!
IAGO
Nay, dis wuz but tha dude's dream.
OTHELLO
But dis denoted a foregone conclusion:
'Tis a shrewd doubt, though dat shit be but a dream.
IAGO
And dis may help to thicken otha proofs
Dat do demonstrate thinly.
OTHELLO
I'll tear ha all to pieces.
IAGO
Nay, but be wise: yet we see nothin' done;
Tha byatch may be honest yet, man. Tell me but this,
Has yo' ass not sometimes seen a handkerchief
Spotted wid strawberries in yo' wife's hand?
OTHELLO
Ah gave ha such a one; 'twas ma first gift.
IAGO
Ah know not that; but such a handkerchief--
Ah be sure dat shit wuz yo' wife's--did Ah to-day
See Cassio wipe tha dude's beard with.
OTHELLO
If dat shit be that--
IAGO
If dat shit be that, or any dat wuz hers,
It speaks against ha wid da otha proofs.
OTHELLO
O, dat da slave had forty thousand lives!
One be 'n all poor, 'n all weak fo ma revenge.
Now do Ah see 'tis true, man. Look here, Iago;
All ma fond love thus do Ah blow to heaven.
'Tis gone.
Arise, black vengeance, from thy hollow cell!
Yield up, O love, thy crown 'n hearted throne
To tyrannous hate! Swell, bosom, wid thy fraught,
For 'tis of aspics' tongues!
IAGO
Yet be content.
OTHELLO
O, blood, blood, blood!
IAGO
Patience, Ah say; yo' mind perhaps may change.
OTHELLO
Never, Iago: Like to da Pontic sea,
Whose icy current 'n compulsive course
Ne'a feels retirin' ebb, but keeps due on
To da Propontic 'n da Hellespont,
Even so ma bloody thoughts, wid violent pace,
Shall ne'a look back, ne'a ebb to humble love,
Till dat a capable 'n wide revenge
Swallow 'em up, man. Now, by yond marble heaven,
Kneels
In da due reverence of a sacred vow
Ah here engage ma words.
IAGO
Do not rise yet.
Kneels
Witness, yo' ass ever-burnin' lights above,
Yo' ass elements dat clip us round about,
Witness dat here Iago doth give up
Da execution of tha dude's wit, hands, heart,
To wrong'd Othello's service! Let tha dude's ass command,
And to obey shall be in me remorse,
What bloody business ever.
They rise
OTHELLO
Ah greet thy love,
Not wid vain tanks, but wid acceptance bounteous,
And gots to upon da instant put thee to't:
Within these three days let me hear thee say
Dat Cassio's not alive.
IAGO
My homie be dead; 'tis done at yo' request:
But let ha live.
OTHELLO
Damn her, lewd minx! O, damn her!
Come, go wid me apart; Ah gots to withdraw,
To furnish me wid some swift means of death
For da fair devil n' shit. Now art thou ma lieutenant.
IAGO
Ah be yo' own fo ever.
Exeunt
SCENE IV, know what I'm sayin'? Before da castle.
Enta DESDEMONA, EMILIA, 'n Clown
DESDEMONA
Do yo' ass know, sirrah, where Lieutenant Cassio lies?
Clown
Ah dare not say tha dude lies any where.
DESDEMONA
Why, man?
Clown
He's a soldier, 'n fo one to say a soldia lies,
is stabbing.
DESDEMONA
Go to: where lodges he?
Clown
To tell yo' ass where tha dude lodges, be to tell yo' ass where Ah lie.
DESDEMONA
Can any thin' be made of this?
Clown
Ah know not where tha dude lodges, 'n fo me to devise a
lodgin' 'n say tha dude lies here or tha dude lies there, were
to lie in mine own throat.
DESDEMONA
Can yo' ass inquire tha dude's ass out, 'n be edified by report?
Clown
Ah gots to catechise da world fo him; dat is, make
questions, 'n by 'em answer.
DESDEMONA
Seek him, bid tha dude's ass come hither: tell tha dude's ass Ah have
moved ma lord on tha dude's behalf, 'n hope all gots to be well.
Clown
To do dis be within da compass of man's wit: and
therefore Ah gots to attempt da doin' it.
Exit
DESDEMONA
Where should Ah lose dat handkerchief, Emilia?
EMILIA
Ah know not, madam.
DESDEMONA
Believe me, Ah had ratha has lost ma purse
Full of crusadoes: and, but ma noble Moor
Is true of mind 'n made of naw such baseness
As jealous creatures are, dat shit wuz enough
To put tha dude's ass to ill thinking.
EMILIA
Is tha dude not jealous?
DESDEMONA
Who, he? Ah think da sun where tha dude wuz born
Drew all such humours from him.
EMILIA
Look, where tha dude comes.
DESDEMONA
Ah gots to not leave tha dude's ass now till Cassio
Be call'd to him.
Enta OTHELLO
How is't wid you, ma lord
OTHELLO
Well, ma phat lady.
Aside
O, hardness to dissemble!--
How do you, Desdemona?
DESDEMONA
Well, ma phat lord.
OTHELLO
Give me yo' hand: dis hand be moist, ma lady.
DESDEMONA
It yet hath felt naw age nor known naw sorrow.
OTHELLO
This argues fruitfulness 'n liberal heart:
Hot, hot, 'n moist: dis hand of yours requires
A sequesta from liberty, fastin' 'n prayer,
Much castigation, exercise devout;
For here's a young 'n sweatin' devil here,
Dat commonly rebels, know what I'm sayin'? 'Tis a phat hand,
A frank one.
DESDEMONA
Yo' ass may, indeed, say so;
For 'twas dat hand dat gave away ma heart.
OTHELLO
A liberal hand: da hearts of old gave hands;
But our new heraldry be hands, not hearts.
DESDEMONA
Ah cannot speak of this, know what I'm sayin'? Come now, yo' promise.
OTHELLO
What promise, chuck?
DESDEMONA
Ah has sent to bid Cassio come speak wid you.
OTHELLO
Ah has a salt 'n sorry rheum offends me;
Lend me thy handkerchief.
DESDEMONA
Here, ma lord.
OTHELLO
Dat which Ah gave you.
DESDEMONA
Ah has dat shit not about me.
OTHELLO
Not?
DESDEMONA
No, indeed, ma lord.
OTHELLO
Dat be a fault.
Dat handkerchief
Did an Egyptian to ma motha give;
Tha byatch wuz a charmer, 'n could almost read
Da thoughts of people: tha byatch told her, while
she kept it,
'Twould make ha amiable 'n subdue ma father
Entirely to ha love, but if tha byatch lost it
Or made gift of it, ma father's eye
Should hold ha loathed 'n tha dude's spirits should hunt
Afta new fancies: she, dying, gave dat shit me;
And bid me, when ma fate would has me wive,
To give dat shit her, know what I'm sayin'? Ah did so: 'n take heed on't;
Make dat shit a darlin' like yo' precious eye;
To lose't or give't away wuz such perdition
As nothin' else could match.
DESDEMONA
Is't possible?
OTHELLO
'Tis true: there's magic in da web of it:
A sibyl, dat had number'd in da world
Da sun to course two hundred compasses,
In ha prophetic fury sew'd da work;
Da worms wuz hallow'd dat did breed da silk;
And dat shit wuz dyed in mummy which da skilful
Conserved of maidens' hearts.
DESDEMONA
Indeed! is't true?
OTHELLO
Most veritable; therefore look to't well.
DESDEMONA
Then would to God dat Ah had neva seen't!
OTHELLO
Ha! wherefore?
DESDEMONA
Why do yo' ass speak so startingly 'n rash?
OTHELLO
Is't lost? is't gone? speak, be dat shit out
o' da way?
DESDEMONA
Heaven bless us!
OTHELLO
Say you?
DESDEMONA
It be not lost; but what an if dat shit were?
OTHELLO
How!
DESDEMONA
Ah say, dat shit be not lost.
OTHELLO
Fetch't, let me see't.
DESDEMONA
Why, so Ah can, sir, but Ah gots to not now.
This be a trick to put me from ma suit:
Pray you, let Cassio be received again.
OTHELLO
Fetch me da handkerchief: ma mind misgives.
DESDEMONA
Come, come;
You'll neva meet a 'mo sufficient man.
OTHELLO
Da handkerchief!
DESDEMONA
Ah pray, talk me of Cassio.
OTHELLO
Da handkerchief!
DESDEMONA
A muthafucka dat all tha dude's time
Hath founded tha dude's phat fortunes on yo' love,
Shared dangers wid you,--
OTHELLO
Da handkerchief!
DESDEMONA
In sooth, yo' ass be to blame.
OTHELLO
Away!
Exit
EMILIA
Is not dis muthafucka jealous?
DESDEMONA
Ah ne'a saw dis before.
Sure, there's some wonda in dis handkerchief:
Ah be most unhappy in da loss of it.
EMILIA
'Tis not a year or two shows us a man:
They be all but stomachs, 'n we all but food;
To eat us hungerly, 'n when they be full,
They belch us, know what I'm sayin'? Look you, Cassio 'n ma husband!
Enta CASSIO 'n IAGO
IAGO
There be naw otha way; 'tis tha byatch gots to do't:
And, lo, da happiness! go, 'n importune her.
DESDEMONA
How now, phat Cassio! wass da news wid you?
CASSIO
Madam, ma forma suit: Ah do beseech you
Dat by yo' virtuous means Ah may again
Exist, 'n be a memba of tha dude's love
Whom Ah wid all da office of ma heart
Entirely honour: Ah would not be delay'd.
If ma offence be of such mortal kind
Dat nor ma service past, nor present sorrows,
Nor purposed merit in futurity,
Can ransom me into tha dude's love again,
But to know so gots to be ma benefit;
So shall Ah clothe me in a forced content,
And shut myself up in some otha course,
To fortune's alms.
DESDEMONA
Alas, thrice-gentle Cassio!
My advocation be not now in tune;
My lord be not ma lord; nor should Ah know him,
Were tha dude in favour as in humour alter'd.
So help me every spirit sanctified,
As Ah has spoken fo yo' ass all ma best
And stood within da blank of tha dude's displeasure
For ma free speech! yo' ass gots to awhile be patient:
What Ah can do Ah will; 'n 'mo Ah will
Than fo myself Ah dare: let dat suffice you.
IAGO
Is ma lord angry?
EMILIA
Tha dude went hence but now,
And certainly in strange unquietness.
IAGO
Can tha dude be angry? Ah has seen da cannon,
When dat shit hath blown tha dude's ranks into da air,
And, like da devil, from tha dude's very arm
Puff'd tha dude's own brother:--and can tha dude be angry?
Somethin' of moment then: Ah gots to go meet him:
There's matta in't indeed, if tha dude be angry.
DESDEMONA
Ah prithee, do so.
Exit IAGO
Something, sure, of state,
Eitha from Venice, or some unhatch'd practise
Made demonstrable here in Cyprus to him,
Hath puddled tha dude's clear spirit: 'n in such cases
Men's natures wrangle wid inferior things,
Though phat ones be they object n' shit. 'Tis even so;
For let our finga ache, 'n dat shit indues
Our otha healthful members even to dat sense
Of pain: nay, we gots to think muthafuckas be not gods,
Nor of 'em look fo such observances
As fit da bridal, know what I'm sayin'? Beshrew me much, Emilia,
Ah was, unhandsome warrior as Ah am,
Arraignin' tha dude's unkindness wid ma soul;
But now Ah find Ah had suborn'd da witness,
And he's indicted falsely.
EMILIA
Pray heaven dat shit be state-matters, as yo' ass think,
And naw conception nor naw jealous toy
Concernin' you.
DESDEMONA
Alas da day! Ah neva gave tha dude's ass cause.
EMILIA
But jealous souls gots to not be answer'd so;
They be not eva jealous fo da cause,
But jealous fo they be jealous: 'tis a monster
Begot upon itself, born on itself.
DESDEMONA
Heaven keep dat monsta from Othello's mind!
EMILIA
Lady, amen.
DESDEMONA
Ah gots to go seek him, man. Cassio, walk hereabout:
If Ah do find tha dude's ass fit, I'll move yo' suit
And seek to effect dat shit to ma uttermost.
CASSIO
Ah humbly tank yo' ladyship.
Exeunt DESDEMONA 'n EMILIA
Enta BIANCA
BIANCA
Save you, homie Cassio!
CASSIO
What make yo' ass from home?
How be dat shit wid you, ma most fair Bianca?
I' faith, sweet love, Ah wuz comin' to yo' house.
BIANCA
And Ah wuz goin' to yo' lodging, Cassio.
What, keep a week away? seven days 'n nights?
Eight score eight hours? 'n lovers' absent hours,
More tedious than da dial eight score times?
O weary reckoning!
CASSIO
Pardon me, Bianca:
Ah has dis while wid leaden thoughts been press'd:
But Ah shall, in a 'mo continuate time,
Strike off dis score of absence n' shit. Sweet Bianca,
Givin' ha DESDEMONA's handkerchief
Take me dis work out.
BIANCA
O Cassio, whence came this?
This be some token from a newa friend:
To da felt absence now Ah feel a cause:
Is't come to this? Well, well.
CASSIO
Go to, woman!
Throw yo' vile guesses in da devil's teeth,
From whence yo' ass has them, know what I'm sayin'? Yo' ass be jealous now
Dat dis be from some mistress, some remembrance:
No, in phat troth, Bianca.
BIANCA
Why, whose be it?
CASSIO
Ah know not, sweet: Ah found dat shit in ma chamber.
Ah like da work well: ere dat shit be demanded--
As like enough dat shit will--I'ld has dat shit copied:
Take it, 'n do't; 'n leave me fo dis time.
BIANCA
Leave you! wherefore?
CASSIO
Ah do attend here on da general;
And think dat shit naw addition, nor ma wish,
To has tha dude's ass see me woman'd.
BIANCA
Why, Ah pray you?
CASSIO
Not dat Ah love yo' ass not.
BIANCA
But dat yo' ass do not love me.
Ah pray you, brin' me on da way a little,
And say if Ah shall see yo' ass soon at night.
CASSIO
'Tis but a little way dat Ah can brin' you;
For Ah attend here: but I'll see yo' ass soon.
BIANCA
'Tis very good; Ah gots to be circumstanced.
Exeunt
User Reviews
Submitted by Fenrir (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now that I think about it, I wonder how many artists/groups have made songs called "Crash and Burn". Those are the only 4 I can think of. Anybody know of any others?
Submitted by Fenrir (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually my favorite "Crash and Burn" is either by 'Til Tuesday or Blues Traveller.
Submitted by Fenrir (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-07-19 11:08:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
I believe it was savage garden that had that hit song "Crash and Burn."
----------
WRONG!!! It was The Bangles.
Submitted by LasTymeiCzeched (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lets see here hmm...
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT LOL!!1!11
Submitted by JimRants (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me thinkist I love anything that pisses off the self righteous whining masses!
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-19 15:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hit whoring! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37638
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-19 13:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's it like being so bad at life?
Submitted by cheesedick (user info) at 2004-07-19 11:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for you, you fucking anus
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-19 11:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
B@W.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-07-19 11:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I believe it was savage garden that had that hit song "Crash and Burn."
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-07-19 10:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I take your dare... Act I: -1; it just wasn't too good. Act II: -2 because it involved more of me wasting my time. Act III: -2 because down with the clown or not, your iambic pentameter leaves much to be desired.
Oh, and I wasn't entertained... at all. Please do better next time.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-07-19 10:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Double-posting... I stand by my original statement:
I loved it.
Oh wait, what I meant to say was, better work can be produced by holding a piece of paper behind a flatulent cow after feeding it Ex-Lax, but I typed it wrong.