Tips for the sick (468 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <oleannder.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-19 12:45:37 EDT
Some of you may know from my earlier posts that I have have been pretty sick recently so I have not been around much. My charming Doctor still does not have a clue as to what is wrong with me but I am pretty sure that it's more than psychological when you drop 30 lbs in less then 3 weeks.
That's right.... I puke up every single thing that I eat. I am so bloody hungry ri pain - go to the emergancy ward. Either have a friend drive you or, if you don't want to wait in line for 4 hours, call an ambulance.
- If you can't keep Gravol or Travel Tabs in your system - go to emergancy. They will hook you up to a charming IV drip & re-hydrate your sorry ass.
- If you are hooked up to an IV but still need to puke - ask for a bucket larger then those stupid kidney shaped cardboard things. That way you won't try to stumble to the can when you are all drugged up, nor will you overfill the cardboard thing, leaving a foul smelling mess all over you that makes you feel worse then before.
- Try not to puke during your CT scan. This can not be stressed enough. Blurry pictures do not help make a diagnosis. Besides you will only have to try to do it again.
- Be prepared to sweat after being re-hydrated with saline. A few bags of this crap & you start to stink like it too. Bathe as often as you can. Baths are better then showers because you are far less likely to fall down and hit your head. While death would be merciful when you are like this, perheps it can wait until the time that you are not naked.
Until next time..... I hope that all you people who can eat a pizza and not chuck it up.... die slowly you evil bastards.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-08 03:56:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am unwell. And whinging about it makes me feel better. At this point, you were suffering worse than me. +1 (if you'd described a miracle cure it would have been a +2)
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-04-19 04:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jar jar binks!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-19 13:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See... I'm not all that bad...