would you like fries with that? (1061 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.15 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by wangtoast_intollerant (View user info) at 2004-07-19 23:42:14 EDT
i was hungry and bored one day but i was also broke. i had just gotten out of the police station and they confiscated all my money and firearms so i had no i idea what to do. i was walking home when i saw a mcdonald's not too far off. i walked in not knowing what to say but got in line anyway.
the person at the register was a very hot girl. she asked if she could take my order. "yeah whore, i order you to get me some food, on the fucking house." she sat there wide-eyed and mouth gaping like she wanted to give me a chewie. "hurry up bitch," i said. she turned to go get my food. for no reason, i began to masturbate.
fucking bitch! instead of coming back with my food she came back with some fat poindexter with brooke burke-esque tits. "excuse me sir, how can i--ahhhhh!" he yelled. i had lost train of thought and had continued masturbating, and busted a fat one right on ronald mcdonald's forearm. the load ricocheted off the arm and right in the manager's eye. "call the cops!" he screamed as he sat there and wept like a fucking red sox fan.
there was no way i was going back to the box, so i leapt over the counter and started to devour everything. the register bitch began to screech like that bitch fantasia from american idol so i jabbed her in the kidneys and thumped her upside the head with one of those rock hard happy meals. she began to bleed and scream even more so i slammed her head in the register until she stopped screaming...or breathing, i can't remember which.
then some fucking pizza faced janitor boy comes out and tries to act all tough. i grabbed his gigantic noggin and dunked it into a vat of mayonnaise. "aaaaggghhhh! i'm allergic to mayonnaise!" he yelled, then he exploded. some other guy ran at me so i picked up the dead guys ribs and stabbed the fucker in the neck. then i put him in the headlock and slammed his face against the cast-iron ronald mcdonald's nads.
i had to check for more witnesses so i went in the back and found some little bitch cowering in the corner. "nice try dicknuts," i said and chucked her out the drive thru window and she was run over by an escalade.
I walked back to the registers to grab some dough, when a guy walks in and comes up to me and says "can i have a double cheeseburger and a vanilla milkshake?" i reached out, and broke his neck, then pissed on his ear and farted on his genitals.
i grinned and said "would you like fries with that?"
User Reviews
Submitted by subliminalshock (user info) at 2005-06-13 00:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is just awfull, no creativity you're just imitating other, better writers
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2005-06-13 00:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure genius.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-09 01:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pretty poor excuse for a post.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-07 06:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-09-16 15:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
COME ON.... this was very random funny...you assclowns!
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2004-09-16 15:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah a man curseing and acting tough isnt funny
Submitted by LymeDisease (user info) at 2004-09-16 15:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i made your dad my prison bitch
Submitted by LymeDisease (user info) at 2004-09-16 15:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
homosexual
Submitted by screaney (user info) at 2004-08-27 17:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...busted a fat one right on ronald mcdonald's forearm"
this is the first post that has ever made me laugh - i mean laugh uncontrollably. good to see that we have similar types of humour. =^.^=
Submitted by mr.awesome (user info) at 2004-08-27 17:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"yeah whore, i order you to get me some food, on the fucking house."
Holy shit. Awesome.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-25 20:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It took two sentences before I knew what rating to give you.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-08-25 20:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
explosions always get some credit...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish_ (user info) at 2004-08-25 20:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-20 07:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-20 07:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-07-20 07:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
random fucked up is good
Submitted by notwelcomehurr (user info) at 2004-07-20 04:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Salmon (user info) at 2004-07-20 02:42:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Amazing!"
hey salmon i fucked you mom and her cootch smelled like salmon so i decapitated her and put her head in the garbage disposal.
try posting yourself you criticizing fuck.
Submitted by Paul Coot <Paul_Comt.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-20 02:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey,
We like fries here at the New York Express!!! Ever thought of working here? Maybe in your wildest dreams?? IT CAN COME TRUE!!! E=mail me your details and some photos and we'll make dreams come true!
Submitted by Salmon (user info) at 2004-07-20 02:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Amazing!
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-07-20 02:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I -2 one of KoolMang's posts out of spite, you know that I have become as childish and silly as he.
I -2 them because they are shit.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-20 01:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I -2 one of Hairsphincter's posts out of spite, you know that you've made a good post.
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deja Vu!!! That same thing totally happened to me last week. NO JOKE!!!
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's 'MOE' like it.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great 2 minute post.
Submitted by rabbidmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" reached out, and broke his neck, then pissed on his ear and farted on his genitals"
yes. yes.
Submitted by LightningAmy (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
aaaaaaaahahahahaha this made me giggle.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
When I say that I've added this to my least favorites, you know that you've made a cunthole post.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-07-20 00:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i dont want to encourage this, but this line was really funny:
"aaaaggghhhh! i'm allergic to mayonnaise!" he yelled, then he exploded.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-07-19 23:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
meh
Submitted by busy (user info) at 2004-07-19 23:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah. You're a riot.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-19 23:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I say that I've added this to my favorites, you know that you've made a good post.