White Collar Tales: 8 inches, Monica Lewinsky, and the Chernobyl beauty pageant winner. (935 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.29 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Buzz Archer <archerv.at.colorado.edu> (View user info) at 2004-07-20 14:01:30 EDT
"So Buzz...Where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Vicki slathered the innuendo all over that question.
Every person within a five cubicle radius shot up ramrod straight as if their
underwear turned into Icy-Hot. I was caught unaware and had to come up with something
that would not make me sound like a Down's syndrome wannabe.
"Uhhh...ermm...wha...?" I stammered.
"Buzz, you told me yesterday that it was probably going to rain at least
seven or eight inches before you left the office." She then winked, turned around and
headed back to her desk.
Great...not only did I pull a Rain Man, but now I will be the laughing stock for the next
few days until some poor sap does another idiotic thing.
It's just one of those days when you wish you could say something brilliant...but come off like Monica Lewinski after she said that she voted Republican because the Democrats left a 'bad taste' in her mouth."
Damn that Vicki...not only does she have an ass you could bounce a quarter off of, but she
knows it and uses it to her advantage. The tart knows that a 19-year old will not necessarily
be a master of the English vocabulary when she bunches her shoulders together and her breasts magically expand from a B-cup to a C-cup in 2.3 seconds.
Don't get me wrong...I loves the ladies, they get my engine revving (to quote 'Anchorman').
But this temptress is seven years my senior, so I have a snowball's chance in hell of throwing it in her. So now I resign myself to watching her flirt it up with the men that are better paid and have higher positions in the company than I currently have.
That Fucking Slore.
Here's the pic of the beauty contest winner.
User Reviews
Submitted by YouKNOWitstrue (user info) at 2004-07-21 11:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Remember...there comes a time when rape is worth it.
Submitted by BuzzArcher (user info) at 2004-07-21 11:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hey 'Random Joe'
Bolderboulder is not my alter ego...however, he is a friend of mine at work who
trolls Ubersite once in a while.
I will admit that it is somewhat of a shenanigan to have an immediate bias when
he rates my post...so I will -1 myself for that.
Submitted by NotGoth (user info) at 2004-07-20 19:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
any post which incorporates a triple-buttocked woman is an instant +2
Submitted by DannyVermin (user info) at 2004-07-20 19:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"But this temptress is seven years my senior, so I have a snowball's chance in hell of throwing it in her."
Uh... dude? I currently have a goddamn GAGGLE of older women wanting me to 'throw it in them'. You don't think chicks like younger dudes?
Hit that shit.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-20 16:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Buzz (or Virgil),
Please stop using your second account to rate your own posts. It is blatantly obvious that BolderBoulder is your alter-ego, as evidenced by the following facts:
1) BolderBoulder has rated only 5 times, 3 of which are on your 3 unique posts.
2) The BolderBoulder is a race run in Boulder, CO on the Memorial Day weekend, and your email address is @colorado.edu. CU is located in Boulder.
Let people judge your work for themselves, for shame.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-07-20 15:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You could do all sorts of crazy things to that girl in the picture.
Somehow, tandem butt-fucking just isn't high up on my list of desires.
Submitted by Random B at 2004-07-20 15:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She might give you pity pussy . . .all hope is not lost
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-07-20 14:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
'great line'
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-20 14:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That picture seriously fucked my head up.
Submitted by BolderBoulder (user info) at 2004-07-20 14:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus...
+1 for the 'slore'
+1 for the picture