Incest, self-mutilation, and other things Mexicans will grow to love. (880 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.8 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HatMan (View user info) at 2004-07-20 20:32:27 EDT
I was talking with a small group of friends recently when someone brought up how one of their friends (someone I went to grade school with) had just gotten back from a missions trip to Mexico. He kept going on about how he "couldn't do that" and how great this person was. This is the worst kind of conversation to have with your friends. For some reason, after people don't really keep in touch for a while, it's like their slate has been wiped clean and all wrongs forgotten. Not with me.
First off, she's a bitch. She was the one who told on me for turning down all the air conditioning in the school to it's lowest setting. I was just a starry-eyed child who thought that it would be nice to have a winter wonderland in school during the month of May. She was also the main reason that Gary Coleman Day was canceled. They tore our pictures down and gave us detention. I'll hate her forever for that one.
It's not just that she ratted me out when I was a mere child, but it's that she's now exceeded the level of Bible thumper and is convinced that god speaks to her directly and through her and all that bullshit. Normally I just ignore people like that because it makes them happy and they're really not hurting anyone. It's that she demands to be praised for it that really pisses me off.
Later on, I decided to check out some numbers and run them.
One Bible = $10
In Mexico:
112.50 pesos for 10 dollars
32 pesos for 2.2lbs of chicken
7 pesos for one soft drink (like lemonade, coke, etc)
---------------------------------
5.33lbs of chicken and 5 soft drinks for the price of one bible.
I'd much rather read a book about a man I never met than eat.
I understand that when people go on these missions trips, they do bring medicine and food (but not money, because all Mexicans are dirty and will drink it all away or spend it on prostitutes in their books) but they also insist on buying new Bibles for everyone they meet. Having almost been conned into going on one of these at the tender age of 13, I remember what these things are all about. They recruit people, oftentimes the youngest, most impressionable children they can find, telling them that God will take you into Heaven for such acts of charity. I'm pretty sure if God kills you you did something to piss him off.
But hey, atleast they're reading these Bibles and becoming better people because of it, right? Let's check it out.
"And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire" (Mark 9:47, KJV)
But wait! I punched a kid in the face once! Does that mean I have to cut off my hand?
"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5:39) Shit, I guess I better get on that then.
"And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose." (Genesis 19:35) Mmm...incest. I know Mexicans already like that!
In conclusion, tell me, if you were starving, would you rather have someone press their belief systems on you or would you want to eat? You sick bastards. Enjoy your Honduran-sweat-shop-made clothing while you parade around on high in mock altruism. Yes, great - you shared an invisible man. I'm sure they appreciate the invisible food they're having because you spent your money on a book instead of buying them more food.
Hey, atleast they can burn their Bibles to cook their invisible food, right?
User Reviews
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-07-21 05:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"He percieved not when she lay down, or when she arose.
So he just magically knew when she was there, fucked her and went back to sleep?"
I think the passage means he was drunk, not asleep.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-07-21 04:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Missionaries are the worst kind of Christian.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-20 20:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sarcasism at it's best...
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2004-07-20 20:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose."
He percieved not when she lay down, or when she arose.
So he just magically knew when she was there, fucked her and went back to sleep?
I think you need to pay attention to what you are saying.
Korth
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-07-20 20:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We will never love Incest... unless we are related to Salma Hayek.
She is dreeeeeamy.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-07-20 20:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, where I quoted Mark 9:47 I meant to quote a passage 4 verses before. "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:" (Mark 9:43) Sorry about that.