My Nightmare Night Out (812 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.33 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by money_shot (View user info) at 2004-07-22 06:54:55 EDT
Some of you will think 'Sick' others 'Paedophile', but I just think is it me, or are girls getting older, younger? The legal age for fornication in Britain is 16. Now most pre 16 year olds like to break rules. If its smoking fags, or even having a joint, from an early age we don't respect authority. That goes for sex laws as well!
It started on a Friday night. where in the pub with mates knocking the beers and shots back deciding what quest we will conquer tonight. As usual, we end up going into town and end up in a scummy club.
The club we go to is like a cattle market for women. Even if the girls look like they got run down by the ugly bus and it accidentally reversed over them...5 times. Any bloke can score, and I mean any.
So, with the beer goggles on, I venture off with a mate to try my luck with these groups of girls. Now, they are all pretty god damn nice, and im not a bad looking bloke but these birds are way out of my league. Thank fuck for beer.
Me 'Hello, what's your name?'
Girl 'Louise' ...okay, Louise turns back to her mates, not all is lost
Me 'so how old are you Louise?'
Girl '19' ...nice, nice
Me 'cool, fancy a dance?'
Girl 'with you?! no thanks!'
Me 'alright love don't be picky. I wasn't'
I just got knocked back, looked like the bar was going to be my best friend. 4 Jameson's and a Stella later, I can't barley see in front off me and can hardly stand up. All I can her is voices in my head 'get up and dance Chris', 'dance like john Travolta '.
Me 'I'm off to dance'
Joe 'with who?'
me 'John Travolta'
Joe 'okkkay'
I have the moves of a paraplegic gymnast, but when I'm pissed, I don't care. My main aim was to get a girl to ride my blue vein choo choo train, and I did.
She was a pretty good looking girl.
Me 'come here you often' said with dribble hanging out the corner of my mouth
Girl 'yeh, you got a bit of dribble hanging from your mouth'
Me ' I know'
me 'you wana come back to mine'
Girl 'I would love to but im with my friends'
me 'bring 'em all back, loads of my Chris to go round'
Skip forward 3 hours, she came back, and she was loving it. All of a sudden I felt a patch under my knee, I thought it was her squirting, so I carried on. after about 2 minutes, I was swimming around my room. I managed to crawl to the light switch and POW...Blood fucking everywhere, over my, over my bed, Fucking sick. My mum loves the house to be spotless, clean everywhere. We have cream carpets everywhere, and this bird is dripping rainbow juice everywhere.
8am - mum comes in room
8:01am - bird gets kicked out.
8:02am - bird asks me to ring her.
8:03am - my mum said nothing
I hate it when parents don't shout, they just lay a guilt trip.
I found out a week earlier that the girls was 15.
User Reviews
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-07-22 10:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
good story, bro, i like that you write it with the
words you use. Fuck what the others said.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-07-22 09:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This might have been ok, but you completely fucked it up.
I found out a week earlier that the girls was 15.
What? So you either knew she was fifteen, or have the intelligence of a five year old. The rest of it needed better delivery and fewer mutilations of the English language.
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-22 07:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-07-22 07:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because smoking fags sounds dirty.
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-22 07:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i was 17 at the time, i live with my parents, and well, what penis wants penis gets!
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-07-22 07:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahah fuck... i'd rate this, but i can't. How old are u?? and why did u bring a chick back to your moms house... aww hunni lol thats funny yet very disturbing.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-07-22 06:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This could have been a hilarious story with better delivery. Too much colloquialism.