Crackheads in the mist (4673 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.95 on 124 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Method (View user info) at 2004-07-23 02:00:23 EDT
I love crackheads. Their diversity intrigues me. They might just be the most interesting race of people on the planet.
Flashback to 1999. Harlem, NY, if you will. I was at a friend's party, and I was drunk as a skunk. Yes, I was at a white boy's party in Harlem. They do exist.
I said my goodbye's, and walked out to my car. At this point, I realized my keys were nowhere to be found. I went back in, looked around, and still couldn't find them. I went back to my car, and stood there in a drunken stupor, trying to figure out what to do.
"Pssssssst."
I looked around.
"PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST"
"Huh?" I said, looking around for the source of the summoning.
"Wanna buy a toaster?"
I squinted, looking in the darkness, trying to discern where the mystery voice was coming from.
"Uuuh, no thanks. I'm locked out of my car, and I need to get in."
"Well, sheeeeet, for 5 bucks I kin get you rollin"
"No, I'm ok. Thanks."
Apparently, in crackese, no means yes. In a flash, this skinny little black man in an oversized wife beater and torn shorts had appeared next to my car, peering in the window.
"Oh sheeeet, you locked out of yo car"
"Yeah, thanks champ, I noticed that."
I blinked, and 1.3 seconds later, my car was swarmed by Gollum-like creatures, crawling all over my 1985 Buick Skylark like the monkeys at a drive-thru safari.
"Whoaaaaaaaa guys, take it easy" I said reluctantly, backing away from the scene that was unfolding before my eyes.
3 black, 2 white, and 1 Spanish crackheads had attacked my car like it was the Holy Grail of Crack.
"Yo, you locked out of yo car?" one of the white crackies asked me.
"Yeah" I sighed resignedly, acquiescing to the situation.
"YO POOOOOKIE" the original crackhead shouted.
No answer.
"HOOOOODEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he shouted.
I stood there in awe of the situation, wondering how I was going to get out of this. Crackheads had invaded my life, and there was no way out.
Enter Pookie.
Pookie walked out of an alley with a gleam in his eye. He was clad only in a towel and a shower cap, wieldiing a drill in his hand and a toothless smile on his face.
"Yo, you need a pofeshunal" Pookie said to me, the grin never leaving his face, swinging the drill around in his hand, as if it was part of his anatomy.
"I guess so. Can you get me into my car?"
"Fo sho!"
"Allright. Ten bucks if you can get me on the road."
Pookie shook my hand as if it was a business deal, turned around, and promptly smashed my driver's side fucking window in with the other side of the drill.
I sat down on the sidewalk, mostly because I didn't know what else to do. Pookie slithered in through the window, his reptilian body apparently immune to the effects of broken glass, and popped the hood. He popped the trunk too for some reason, and I quickly walked to the back of the car and slammed it shut. I went over to the curb, sat down, and let the "pofeshunal" handle the situation.
Crackhead # 1 walked over to me and sat down next to me.
"Hey, you see that guy in the blue shirt?"
"Yeah, I see him" I replied, looking down to the corner of the block, watching a shady looking figure standing there in a blue shirt.
"Watch out fo him. He a crackhead" He said matter-of-factly.
"Yeah. Thanks." I replied, putting my drunken head down in my hands and weeping silently.
I looked up, and 4 crackheads had lifted my hood up, and had CRAWLED INTO MY FUCKING ENGINE. I had given up at this point.
The Crackhead leader that had sat down next to me leaned in real close, smelling like an anchovie's cunt, and whispered in my ear.
"Yo, ah kin getchoo the same car fo 100 dollaz."
"What?" I replied, not understanding what he was getting at.
"This cat down on 159th got the same car. I kin get it fo you fo 100 buckz. Same color too, fo anotha 50. I throw in the keys fo free."
"Yeah, no thanks. I think I'll stick with my car."
I stood up, trying to get away from the malificent odor emanating from the leader's walking corpse, and walked over to my car. Pookie was hanging halfway out of the car, his legs swinging, the towel almost falling off. The other 3 crackheads that had taken up residence in the engine were banging away with their fists as if they knew what they were doing.
About a minute later, I heard my engine revving to life.
Pookie had done it.
Pookie was a pofeshunal.
He climbed back out, bits of glass hanging off of his body, and smiled once again. He stuck his hand out, and I took out my wallet, handing him his 10 dollars. He adjusted his shower cap, the giant toothless grin never leaving his face, and walked away with a slight skip in his step.
I shooed the other 3 crackheads away from my car, handed the original crackhead another 10 dollars for orchestrating the entire ordeal, and got into my car.
I put my car into drive and drove away as swiftly as possible, the breeze from the broken window cooling my drunken face, the screwdriver that was jammed into the ignition giving new stolen life to my 1985 Buick Skylark.
I went home, found the extra set of car keys that I had, and made 10 copies the next day.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-21 13:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-01-21 13:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-01-21 12:58:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-20 21:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So this is what Uber used to be like. Funny.
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-11-09 07:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:38:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88623
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cracktastic!
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-08 08:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where has this gem been hiding?!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-08 07:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ace. +2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-08 07:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually don't have any muscles. I'm as soft and doughy as Electro, and twice as socially inept.
I have a fear of public places and girls = (
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:42:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha you fat headed cunt, you're gonna pay for that one
You're no longer overseas.
YOU'RE IN ASS KICKIN TERRITORY, APULLO AND I GOT MY STEEL TOES ON.
TIME FOR A GOOD OL FASHIONED AMERICAN ASS WHOOPIN
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW """
BRING IT ON YOU MUSCLE BOUND COCKFACE.
WHICH ONE ARE YOU FUCKFACE?? BEEPBOP OR ROCKSTEADY??
IMA GET KRAAAAAAAAAANG YOU EEEEEEDIOT.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har har!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:47:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha you fat headed cunt, you're gonna pay for that one
You're no longer overseas.
YOU'RE IN ASS KICKIN TERRITORY, APULLO AND I GOT MY STEEL TOES ON.
TIME FOR A GOOD OL FASHIONED AMERICAN ASS WHOOPIN
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:08:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHA ON A SIDE NOTE, ETS IS GOING AND -2ING ALL OF MY POSTS
HEY BRADLEY, DON'T FORGET THE POST THAT'S #1 ON THE BEST EVER LIST - +2 ON 111 REVIEWS - THAT ONE WILL BE A MIGHTY PRIZE FOR YOUR TWISTED LITTLE MIND """
what this one?
bwhaahahahahahaaaa
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 17:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I LIKE THIS POST
Submitted by tbone (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jimthefiend (user info) at 2005-08-07 05:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Loved it
Submitted by McPwn (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Homes
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You gotta be fucking kidding me. And you give a 2 to the fucking fortune cookies?
Submitted by vergery (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh fuck
Submitted by vergery (user info) at 2005-08-07 03:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahahaha. This is the best story I've ever read on this site.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-08-07 02:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I too, love the crackheads, Meth.
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2005-08-04 04:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This never gets old.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2005-08-04 03:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking brilliant
Welcome back to Best Ever (even if you did push me down a spot!).
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-08-04 01:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i still ove this post
Submitted by KnightsWhoSayNi (user info) at 2005-08-04 01:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crackheads are fun to poke sticks at.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-04 00:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SUCK A FAT DICK BROWN EYED GIRL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
Fuckin skank.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-05 21:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll try to help!
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2005-07-05 20:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is your problem? I said it was funny.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-05 20:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh well.
Browneyedgirl is back and pulling the same shit as always.
It was fun being on best ever while it lasted.
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2005-07-05 19:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mildly funny.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-04 02:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See kids, crack is good for you!
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-07-04 01:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEEEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOO!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-04 01:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-07-04 00:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-06-28 11:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dog food tastes just like it smells...DELICIOUS
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-06-27 20:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crackheads are a true boon to society.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-06-27 15:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like it.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-06-17 15:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-17 14:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-17 14:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Flaahgra (user info) at 2005-06-17 00:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:30:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
nice "story"
Tell the truth now Method, you were the guy in the towel.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-16 18:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-27 09:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2004-10-27 08:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's strange how crackheads allways volunteer to help. I had one butting in to "help" me with an AT&T card in Washington station. I would then help him get a ticket to Boston where his mum was waiting to pay me back. I took my card back and informed him that I made it a rule never to have a financial transaction with anyone, without a bussiness address, whilst traveling.
Whilst he was figuring this out I thanked him and walked away.
Submitted by Xile (user info) at 2004-10-16 07:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
resurrecting review I know.... but I have a few hours too kill and at least one of them has been devoted to reading through all the uber I missed.
Submitted by david <sevenarmy.at.netzero.net> at 2004-08-11 18:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Riveting.... " I was on the edge of my seat wondering where this was going to turn"!
I was incapsulated ! 2 thumbs up! Fucking funny mank...
Submitted by Commie_bastard (user info) at 2004-08-04 14:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"crawling all over my 1985 Buick Skylark" Thats the most redneck car I've ever heard of I mean... Skylark?
You suck.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-27 09:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pookie was a pofeshunal.
It's a crack baby, Foo!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-27 09:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Caldur (user info) at 2004-07-27 06:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...smelling like an anchovie's cunt..."
Freakin' awesome.
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2004-07-26 21:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What everyone else said.
Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2004-07-26 10:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-26 09:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-07-26 04:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just saw this...holy shit, I almost peed my pants.
FANTASTIC imagry.
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-07-26 03:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"He popped the trunk too for some reason" -- I laughed so hard that uhh...yeah...
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2004-07-26 01:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you gay? Just curious...
P.S. I guess I should report you to your ISP for the death threat? Ooops!
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-07-25 23:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess technically this does fall into the category of Business and Financial.
Where the hell did you get that pic? Is there actually a Mr. T comic book out there somewhere?
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2004-07-25 23:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whooodie WHOOOOOOOO!!!
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-07-25 21:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my other cat's name is pookie.
it all makes sense now.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-25 20:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wicked funny!!
w00t!
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-07-25 18:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I can wander around all day semi-naked in a towel I think I'm going to start me a crack habit. Pookie!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-25 10:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-07-25 09:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for an '85 Buick Skylark.
When she was 16, my wife had a gold-tone '83 Buick LeSabre. We called it the Golden Banana.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I peed a little.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beeeyyyoooootiful.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is too damn funny.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit this is funny
Submitted by the__apprentice (user info) at 2004-07-24 19:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go crackheads!!! w00t!!!
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-07-24 19:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment, and no need to comment.
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-07-24 15:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious
Submitted by polly (user info) at 2004-07-24 12:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-24 10:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yea, I know Pookie...at least his type...Those people don't realize it, but they would make great salesmen if they would just wash themselves and cut back just a little on the crack. They are persistant little fucks aren't they? They could probably sell sand to an Egyptian.
You always end up giving them something just to leave you alone...unless you're me. I only give to those who I see needs it and don't ask - or at least don't hassle me about it while shaking feverishly.
Once on the L-Train in Chicago I was accosted by a man bearing the "anchovy cunt" odor wanting money. He was persistant, but I was more persistant. I deftly drew him into a philosophical discussion on how it would be immoral of me to hand him money that I had worked for and he had done nothing for. I then proceeded to tell him that I refused to support his habit.
He said: "wha chu mean?"
I looked at him and smiled, "You know what I mean...don't play dumb with me. The fact that you would lie to me makes it even harder to justify giving you money you didn't earn. My advise to you is...find somewhere to get cleaned up and get a job."
Eventually the guy gave up and found another mark on the train. This time it was a fellow brutha.
"Fuck you nigga! I ain't buyin' yo CRACK!"
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-24 03:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've gat deez cheeseburgers man
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-24 03:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 for Pookie.
Submitted by j00 (user info) at 2004-07-24 03:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-24 01:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-07-23 22:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-23 22:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This scares me.
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2004-07-23 22:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"crack-tastic" - Time magazine
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-07-23 22:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To give this less than a 2 is a felony dum dum dum dada dum dum
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2004-07-23 21:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny, guy, you are, Method.
Submitted by nowaycj (user info) at 2004-07-23 19:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-07-23 17:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahhahahahah! If a value gets close enough to 2.0, will it show up as +2? Bart only uses 3 significant figures.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-23 17:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha, Method was actually the crackhead, I was the guy driving the Buick.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-07-23 14:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe this story... no way are you stupid enough to drive drunk. Or well, I hope that.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-07-23 13:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-23 13:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jboogz (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"YO POOOOOKIE" the original crackhead shouted.
No answer.
"HOOOOODEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he shouted.
I stood there in awe of the situation, wondering how I was going to get out of this. Crackheads had invaded my life, and there was no way out.
Enter Pookie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
HOODDEEEEHOOO is the crackhead mating call.
Submitted by UniBrowZIT (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha.. Mist..
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like the title.
Submitted by taqueso (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Very good
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm at an impasse.
The post was good and funny. But is it worth this chain of +2's. I want to give it a +2...but in no way is this the best post ever on uber...do i take vigilante justice and +1 it.
nah.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:23:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love crackheads. Their diversity intrigues me. They might just be the most interesting race of people on the planet.
------------------------------------------------------
HA! A Race of crackheads!
Submitted by Flatuloso (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crackheads are a lot like monkeys - get enough of them together and they can accomplish anything.
Awesome - I have six copies of that Mister T comic you used at the bottom.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed and laughed.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh shit Meth-head! That was fan-fucking-tastic. Did this really happen to you?
Damn, New Yorkers have all the fun.
Submitted by DaBaddestHic (user info) at 2004-07-23 10:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You got lucky man, I woulda ran away as soon as I saw the crackheads coming.
Submitted by roxxxy4 (user info) at 2004-07-23 10:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha funny shit
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-07-23 10:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a pet crackhead to do stuff like this for me. I'd name him Jimmy Jo Jamma.
Submitted by cremain (user info) at 2004-07-23 10:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Pookie had done it.
Pookie was a pofeshunal."
Laughed my ass off.
Side note - If the ignition lock pins were sheared by turning it over via screwdriver, you dont really need a key anymore, as you can start it with anything.
Good story tho
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
smelling like an anchovie's cunt
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminded me of the Bumfights movies. I highly recommend them to you all, by the way.
Submitted by Sambuca310 (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i once had a crack head...
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hilarious!
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-07-23 08:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-07-23 08:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamnit, this is the funniest thing I've read all week.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-07-23 08:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a crackhead follow me home once but mum said I wasn't allowed to keep him.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-23 07:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-23 07:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-07-23 05:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Mr T.
FOOL!
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-23 03:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you a chick? Otherwise shame on you for driving an auto.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice "story"
Tell the truth now Method, you were the guy in the towel.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwww.. I wanna be a crack head.
Submitted by lnknptheory (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed my fucking ass off.
I kept picturing all the crackheads as Dave Chapelle.
Hilarious..."Wanna buy a toaster?"
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for crackheads.
Submitted by distressedjester (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the title cracks me up...great story.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for crackhead Good Samaritans.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should make a documentry of these crackhead's. but not a sad one where people feel sorry for them, but one where they do crazy things like steal your own car for you. like in your story but in tv form. what?
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
quit opening the door your wasting electricity makein the AC run
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you da man!
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-07-23 02:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
angels in disguise, them crackheads