Evil Birds from Hell (1960 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.75 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (View user info) at 2004-07-23 09:11:33 EDT
Three years ago my wife, my young daughter and I moved into an old established neighborhood that has a lot of mature trees. My next door neighbors Bill and Pat (that's Patricia not Patrick), who are in their mid 80's, have a Maple tree in their back yard that must be at least 50 years old and is probably 60 feet tall. Every year in March/April a mating pair of hawks returns to this tree to build their nest and lay their eggs.
When we first moved in I thought it was pretty cool to live next door to a pair of hawks, especially since our neighborhood is near the center of a major city. But all that changed when I began hearing stories from Bill and Pat about how aggressive the hawks could be. Since my daughter was only about 22 months old at the time I got worried about living near these violent birds and I did some research on hawk attacks. I discovered that when the hawk eggs are about to hatch, and for about two weeks afterward, the parent hawks become very defensive of the nest and will attack any and all living creatures in the area. Bill even told me a story about how the guy who cuts his lawn refuses to work during those two weeks because the hawks keep swooping down at him. In fact, Bill had been attacked the year before and had the top of his head clawed pretty good. For obvious reasons, Bill and Pat are scared to death of the hawks.
Anyway, in the Spring of 2002 the hawks had just laid their eggs and one of them attacked and knocked down Nadgie, the old lady living on the other side of Bill and Pat, and she broke her hip. When I heard this had happened I started making phone calls to see what could be done about getting rid of the hawks. I called the city, the Forest Service, the Audubon Society, etc. By the time I was done I had called 6 or 7 different agencies only to be told that the hawks are a federally protected species and can't be harmed in an attempt to move them. I was also told that there are certain things that people can do to protect themselves while they are outside, such as having the water sprinklers on or tying pieces of aluminum foil in the tree branches in an attempt to distract the hawks into not attacking. Some of these things sounded pretty silly but I told Bill and Pat about them anyway.
The next morning as I was leaving for work I saw Pat out on her early morning walk with her dog. As I drove past her I saw that she had placed large bows of aluminum foil on both her and her dog's head in an attempt to protect them from the hawks. I started laughing so hard I almost lost control of my car.
This picture from the Mel Gibson movie "Signs" reminds me so much of that special morning:
User Reviews
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-06 17:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clockwork Orange prize!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What you do Jumpin J is buy a hat with an area in the back large enough
to draw two big eyes on it.
Birds will not attack anything that they perceive is looking directly at it.
Catipillars/Moths/Birds and all kinds of other species use this technique on their
wings/bodies/etc.
Evolution man, evolution.
I might even think twice myself if I see a duck/goose/pheasant 'peeping' me down
the end of my barrel.
Nah.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-15 15:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, that pic's just plain disturbing.
Submitted by tsu (user info) at 2004-07-23 14:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 on the picture alone
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-23 14:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
preditors rule.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic. That picture sealed the deal.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
thats pretty cool
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate birds.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hawks are awesome.
The only thing I really remember about that movie was that I had sex with my girlfriend twice while watching it. Oh yeah, there was something about aliens too.
Submitted by Sambuca310 (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahaha - stupid neighbors
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The hawks still come back each Spring and because of a heavy canopy of trees in my yard they've never attacked my family. I actually enjoy having them around now.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would rather have hawks than have all of the critters that they prey on. Plus you can tell your friends that you have attack-hawks. If they don't believe you, send them out in the yard for awhile.
Who needs a watchdog?
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
are the hawks still there?
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-07-23 09:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for an alright post.
+1 for making the post one second before mine.