Spider Man 2 - Stinker (401 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: -0.47 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flatuloso (View user info) at 2004-07-23 11:03:54 EDT
Well I went and saw Spider Man 2, like the rest of the freaking country, and I must say I did not enjoy the movie much at all. It was fairly well directed, the action scenes were done with flair, and the casting in the movie is really quite excellent, considering the changes that have to be made for screen.
Yet the movie falls flat in numerous areas. It does not succeed in making any sort of stride beyond the typical Hollywood dreck that comes out each summer, but falls into your general serialized action flick.
But let's start with the Pros. As indifferent as I am to Toby Maguire, he really does fit Peter Parker to a T. His inherent nerdiness is great when the costume is off, he really does a good job with juxtaposing a capable superhero with a completely vulnerable geek who can't even hold a delivery job.
Dr. Octopus is also portrayed fairly well. I have to say I liked Alfred Molina in the role, but his lines were really something awful. Had he had a better script to play with, I think he could have portrayed the character much better. Visually, he fits the party perfectly, however.
The other actors hold their own quite well, although I can't say I'm a fan of Kirsten Dunst in the role of MJ (though I'm also used to the foxy Mary Jane from the comics - Gwen Stacy was cutesy girlfriend, come on!).
The action scenes were quite cool, I like the little things that were thrown in that I never would have thought of (eg. when Spidey and Doc Ock are falling down the side of a building, and the Doctor's arms keep yanking bricks off the wall, trying to find a grip).
But now for the vastly more numerous cons.
The script is, in a word, atrocious. I'm sorry, but when Aunt May gives Peter that lecture on how "everyone is a hero" - the entire theatre felt like it was going to groan at any minute. Octavius' character was extremely one-dimensional, just spouting off stupid advice, then going crazy. And the jerking around of Mary Jane FINALLY came to an end after three and a half freaking hours. Yeah, he likes her and can't be with her, because he's a superhero, STOP REMINDING ME EVERY TEN MINUTES. That little relationship made me want to tear down the screen. And the whole idea of "just believe in yourself, and you get your powers back" made me (excuse the expression) want to hurl.
The movie was far too long. When a film is built on a cliche, it should not spend so much time wading around in its story. A lot of the scenes could have been cut out or shortened to push it under two hours. It could have been a hell of a film if it was only an hour long.
As a comic book buff, the movie really offended my sensibilities as well. The film is a GIANT step backwards in terms of furthering the idea of comics as an art form. It really falls into the stigmata of a "comic book movie" by being completely contrived and almost entirely serialized. Everythign ties together too well, Just so happens that the bad guy is the person Peter is writing his paper on, and that he is also being funded by Osborne Ind. and he also imparts a piece of wisdom upon Peter that helps him regain sanity later in the story... ugh. Though the film takes a departure from the original story of spider man, it still more closely resembles the sixties issues than anything contemporary. It took comics up to the eighties to realize that they didn't have to be goofy and pulp, and could actually have literary credibility. Spider Man then throws all that hard learned stuff out the window and starts over. Ah well, maybe in thirty years we'll start seeing "Watchmen" or "Transmetropolitan" movies.
Finally, how many more "villains that were once good but turned evil due to freak mistakes of science" are we going to have to sit through? Find a new motive PLEASE.
3.2/10
User Reviews
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-07-24 14:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and now to make it what i wanted
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-07-24 14:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oops
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-07-24 14:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This movie was awesome, Jew.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im a fucking idiot
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 to make up for the douche bags.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-07-23 12:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm going to -2 every fricking Spiderman movie review posted. This is at least number four, if not fifteen or twenty. Seriously people, you're not fucking Siskel or channneling Ebert.
Submitted by Flatuloso (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I stand by my score of 3.2, It is my score and my methods of determination are far to complex and detailed for Vagina Ravagers such as yourself to understand.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with you on some points and disagree with you on others. However this review was well written and entertaining.
Submitted by VaginaRavager (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why 3.2/10 ? Why not 3/10, or at least 3.5/10 ?
Do you want to give the impression you toroughly calculated this score with a complex movie rating system ?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-23 11:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My name is ReallyBored, and i approve this message.