Shit techniques (583 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.52 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by money_shot (View user info) at 2004-07-24 07:00:47 EDT
Right, now i know this is pointless, but i feel that there is an art to droping the kids off at the pool!
Over in rainy Britain, we don't get the nicley made toilet seat covers. So you can sit on the shitter and let your schlong accidentally touch the side, venereal dieses here we come!
So with that in mind here are my steps, i would like to know the ways in which you experiance they ever greating shit.
1. hold the poo in for as long as possible, till it hurts.
2. rush to the toilet
3. wipe seat with shit rag, then layer the seat with poo roll.
4. take position.
5. slowly release, trying not to snap the poo - maybe make a game out of it.
6. once poo has left gut facility, sit and enjoy the aroma.
7. take a few sheets of poo paper and fold.
8. wipe up and down to make sure ass is clean of klager nuts (poo nuggets)
9. wash hands.
It's nice having a shit.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-26 17:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so your in the Uk? well you get aid from the US also.
Don't worry Jimmy, i still ilke you.Lets have a Pint and forget about it,Your Local have a good Nudges machine? well drink for free!
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-07-25 03:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hahaha...ASS-mosis Jones.
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-25 03:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well...Brain, you big hunk a man love. How about....i don't live in the USA so i wont claim benifts, i don't live in Holland so....
Suck my sex piss you bitch
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-24 15:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Gee if your so good then tell me you dont get aid(money) from the USA
(Holland) say you don't
go ahead lie ,go on.
i can pull the facts right off the internet
in 2 sec.
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-07-24 14:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sickening- but I gotta give you a +1 for "dropping the kids off at the pool."
Henceforth, anyone who writes something that contains a word or phrase that I can add to my lexicon, will get at least a +1 from me no matter how shitty the post. I have picked up more useful and hilarious parlance from Uber than anywhere else, ever.
Ferretnose
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-24 11:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I took a shit last night in a public bathroom, and I really had to go, I was so glad when it was over and out with :P
Submitted by YouKNOWitstrue (user info) at 2004-07-24 11:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey you forgot the one where I take my pants off and shit on my monitor because this post sucked so hard.
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-24 10:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dangleberries
Check you dont have little bits of shit on your biffin hair?
For man: Grap tweasers, please on knob and push through knob meat
For Women: Grab tweasers, place on flaps, and push through vagina
meat
^^ someone did that with more detail, and it was fucking halarious
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nothing wrong with the UK, apart from the French are next door. But then ive heard the Canadians don't really like the United Masterbates Of America
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Read the text... the kid is form the UK read the whole thing
He is from the UK not the US
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-24 08:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:09:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
What's next?
How to sleep?
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it was a play with words...sort of... use your imagination.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38538#674526
Politics American fuck?
Yeah, sounds like us.
Assmonkey, revenge -2's are for people sans penis.
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just thought it might tie in with american toilet humour.
and im 18, and as you have read, yeah, i love shitting. Ask your mum its one of her fetish's, apart from the good 'ol golden shower
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is hopeless.
seeing the title of this post i was SO hopeful that some of the subtleties of shitting would be discussed, and i might learn something useful.
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What your like 14 yrs old and this is like a big thing?
Guess what your not the only person on the earth. All living things( non plants) shit
Yet YOU marvel at it? It must be one of the best things you can do.
What's next?
How to sleep?
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a spoon, so go eat my ass
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Comment
Submitted by money_shot (user info) at 2004-07-24 08:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, you got slag rash off some tart. I had a bird who's pussy stank, worse than fucking knob cheese
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-07-24 07:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I only caught one disease. Off a girl from Bolton. The slag had a "shag list".
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-24 07:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-07-24 07:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Klagernuts !? I've always known them as tudnuts hehe.
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2004-07-24 07:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Washing your hands in a public washroom only increases your chances of coming in contact with bacteria and germs.
Submitted by ishouldbeworkingwhilstatwork (user info) at 2004-07-24 07:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just like to drop dem niggers off at the pool baby