I really hate old men wearing hats (2915 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.08 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MrFunions (View user info) at 2004-07-24 15:19:49 EDT
I'd like to take this opportunity to finally come clean and admit the certain type of person that I have come to despise and have a huge hatred for over the years. The type of person that will leave their turn signal on for 5 miles at a time and will swerve in their lanes almost side swiping you. And will go 50 miles an hour on a 65mph highway. They lean over the wheel squinting to see the road in front of them. They are:
Old Men wearing hats. I don't even know what it is about the hat, but the bastards always seem to wear it...
I wouldn't even be writing up about my hatred had the events of last night not unfolded as they did.
So I had a long day of working and I had decided to go out for the evening with my girlfriend on a date to see the Bourne Supremacy. I liked the first one and figured I'd probably dig the second one too (which i did). Upon buying tickets for both my date and I, I was promptly told by the girl behind the ticket booth that there were only 20 seats left and it would most certainly be a sold out show, so to be sure I was early enough to get some good seats. Well okay, so we left went out to dinner and came back just early enough, or so we thought, to get good enough seats to enjoy the movie.
As I walked into the movie theatre with my girlfriend I surveyed the theater looking up and down the stadium seats looking for somewhere we could sit together and enjoy the movie. Luckily my girlfriend spotted an old man wearing a hat sitting alone in one of four seats in the very front row. You see there was a seat and then empty space for handicap people, the 4 seats, more empty space and then a final seat at the end that made up one row. So she walked over to the old man leaned over and kindly asked if he was saving the seats for anyone. He said that he was saving one for his son to the right of him. So she did what anyone naturally would do. She asked him if he could please move over a seat so that she and I could sit down and enjoy the movie as well. The old man replied that no he would not move over because he was here early enough to get his seats. Well my girlfriend was a bit shocked by this but she said okay and went and sat in the very front row.
interlude. first of all who the fuck doesn't move over one seat? Does one seat really effect the movie experience? Secondly, he was by himself. Now I've worked in a movie theatre before and normally in a sold out theatre, they come in and ask everyone to move in anyway. And lastly, his son wasn't even there. I mean he didn't even have to move, his son could have sat on the other side of him.
Back to the story...
So after turning a girl down, I figured I should take a stab at getting him to move. So I asked him again why he wouldn't move and he explained the same thing that he was there early enough to get seats. Then he did something that set off a tiny spark inside of me burning a fuse. He said "I'm done with you. go away." and proceeded to make a shooing action with his hand.
Rather than act like a pussy and stand down to this blatant show of asshole-ness, I did what anyone would do in that situation. I sat next to him. I told him that I was going to sit here the whole movie and annoy the hell out of him just because he was such an asshole. When he threatened to get the manager, I said don't worry I'll get him. So Then the manager came in and he took me outside of the theater and I explained to him my situation and how i was just trying to sit there. He was actually pretty cool about it but said that he could not force him to move over and that he understood where I was coming from and I could get a refund if I wanted. I said no thanks and went back in to sit in the front row with my girlfriend. Before doing so though, I was sure to walk to the old man and tell him off. I told him he was an old fuck who didn't deserve to live. Well I think I upset him with that comment because he got up out of his chair and said "You asshole" and came ready to swing at me before the manager got between us and stopped him and took him outside.
Well now you would think that the story ends here, but no it doesn't. By this time the old man's son was sitting in his seat with his popcorn and soda ready for the movie to begin. Well then I heard a lady ask the old man's son to move over and he said he was saving the seat for his old man and that he wouldn't move over. After she begged him to please move over he finally did, and moved left one seat where the old man was sitting.
Then, the old man came back. Still wearing his hat. (who the fuck wears a hat in a movie theater anyway? theres no fucking light to block from your eyes!) He took one look at his seat and asked what happened and his son just pointed to the couple to which the old man yelled at the top of his lungs as loud as an old man can scream, "THATS IT I'M FUCKING LEAVING!!"
After all that, another couple jumped up and stole the seats that I was trying to originally get. But that didn't bother me as much. I'm just glad the old bastard left the theater. Who doesn't move over in a sold out show for some seats. I mean really what the fuck?
Next time you see someone driving badly on the road, make sure it's not an old man wearing a hat. If it is...get as far away from them as you can!
User Reviews
Submitted by sb at 2004-07-30 10:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i agree with woody. i'm very anal about my movie-going experience and if i care enough to get there early to snag my favorite spot in the theater, then i shouldn't have to move to accomodate those people who don't arrive early enough. although i see how it could be annoying for you to have to sit in the front row, i think you're failing to think about the fact that some people like things the way they like them. and if this old guy was a person who really wants a certain seat during a movie, wouldn't you have been better served to just be mature about it and take a lesson? next time, if you'd like a better seat, arrive at the theater in time to get one.
Submitted by jenssey (user info) at 2004-07-29 23:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who did you go see the movie with? I was out with my friends at a reunion that night.
Submitted by jenssey (user info) at 2004-07-29 23:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JohnnyX (user info) at 2004-07-28 20:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm done with you. Go away.
Submitted by MrFunions (user info) at 2004-07-27 15:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I was reading the back of my ticket stub randomly and it says "Management also reserves the right to designate where the holder of this ticket shall be seated." Whoda thunk it would say right there on the ticket. So I guess that means the manager could have moved him!!
Submitted by woody (user info) at 2004-07-25 09:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For all the dumbasses replying to a different post on this thread, and especially the moron who replied about him being sick over Hillary Clinton running for president. What the fuck does that have to do with this post about an angry hat wearing old man??
Submitted by woody (user info) at 2004-07-25 09:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ATTNGHEYMENZ (user info) at 2004-07-24 17:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ATTN OLD MENZ!!!!1!11
Submitted by Mr_Bob_Dobolina (user info) at 2004-07-24 17:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just the mere fact someone mentioned Hilary Clinton running for president makes me wanna puke and gives you Sir a -2
lol
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-24 17:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
(i said it here becaue you dont post )These celebrities have no intelligence-gathering agents, no fact-finding groups, no insight into the minds of those who would destroy our country. They only have a deep seated hatred for all things Republican. By nature, and no one knows quite why, the Hollywood elitists detest Conservative views and anything that supports or uplifts the United States of America. The silence was deafening from the Left when Bill Clinton bombed a pharmaceutical factory outside of Khartoum, or when he attacked the Bosnian Serbs in 1995 and 1999. He bombed Serbia itself to get Slobodan Milosevic out of Kosovo, and not a single peace rally was held. When our Rangers were ambushed in Somalia and 18 young American lives were lost, not a peep was heard from Hollywood. Yet now, after our nation has been attacked on its own soil, after 3,000 Americans were killed, by freedom-hating terrorists, while going about their routine lives, they want to hold rallies against the war. Why the change? Because an honest, God-fearing Republican sits in the White House.
Submitted by MrFunions (user info) at 2004-07-24 16:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bush has nothing to do with this post dip shit. Why don't you go review where it matters.
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-24 16:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No matter what you want Bush will win this election because Hillary Clinton wants to run for President in 2008, If Kerry wins she can not, its that simple.
You might not like Bush; we have him for four more years.
And if you think that Mrs. Clinton can run even if Kerry is elected you need help.
(This is in response to your bush yes or no comment)
You are responsible for what you write!
Submitted by MrFunions (user info) at 2004-07-24 16:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Normally I would be to the movies early enough to grab a nice seat, but my girlfriend is about the polar opposite of me. Can't be on time for anything. I think it's a woman thing. But yeah, and the movie was actually PG-13 because i checked the ticket stub after i saw a group of about 4 or 5 kids sitting in the theater. Luckily they behaved themselves though so it was okay.
Submitted by sockboy (user info) at 2004-07-24 16:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, at least it wasn't some stupid bitch bringing her ankle-biter kids along(last time i checked, kids under 17 weren't allowed into an "R" rated show). I think that the screaming kids and the ones who have to constantly ask "What's that?", "What is he doing?", etc.....it's kids like that that make me never want to have any, and it's parents like that who whould be shot thru the lungs with a crossbow
Submitted by Old hat-wearing man at 2004-07-24 15:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll get you yet!!
Submitted by woody (user info) at 2004-07-24 15:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate people that stroll in at the last minute expecting me to move. I've been here for 45 minutes shitbag while you were out fiddlefucking around. If I was here early enough to stake my claim to THIS seat, then this is the one I want. My advice - arrive earlier.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-24 15:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad has the same theory on old male drivers, who wear hats.
Old people can be quite bitter, I've had to deal with them too, myself. I am going to voluntarily euthenize myself when I reach the age where my natural life support systems start to fail.