Yale, Take a Look at What OLAS Has to Give... HEAD! (2785 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.25 on 94 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Agent Smith (View user info) at 2004-07-24 20:05:19 EDT
***
1600 on her SATs.
Top 1% of her class.
Pretty little ballerina.
Cock-gobbling goddess.
Yale will be proud.
***
ohlookasquirrel: whoa
Agent Smith: hey
ohlookasquirrel: you're still alive!
Agent Smith: yeah
ohlookasquirrel: and kicking?
ohlookasquirrel: yeah
ohlookasquirrel: I missed you
Agent Smith: :'(
ohlookasquirrel: haha
ohlookasquirrel: and you werent there in my moment of need so sublime got to hear my funny sexual exploits gone horribly wrong story
ohlookasquirrel: sniff
Agent Smith: what?
Agent Smith: what happened?
ohlookasquirrel: oh man
Agent Smith: ?
ohlookasquirrel: you cant say "ugh" like you always do when I talk about boys if I tell you
ohlookasquirrel: its just a funny story
Agent Smith: okay
ohlookasquirrel: okay, so pretend Im not a minor for a second
Agent Smith: okay
ohlookasquirrel: I'm not sure if its because Im an exhibitionist or what, but the idea of getting hot and heavy in a public place where theres a chance of getting caught is goddamn sexy
Agent Smith: haha
ohlookasquirrel: so I took my boyfriend to the park by my house at nine at night, so it was ALMOST empty and pretty dark
Agent Smith: uh-huh
ohlookasquirrel: mark was paranoid though, so he pulled out a deck of cards and was all, if anyone comes, we're playing cards.
Agent Smith: hahaha
Agent Smith: he wouldn't make out in the park with you?
Agent Smith: hahaha
ohlookasquirrel: well see, it got more conspicuous
ohlookasquirrel: naked from the waist down, and going down on him, and just as things were getting interesting
ohlookasquirrel: a skateboarder boards right up, stands directly behind my naked ass
ohlookasquirrel: and stops
Agent Smith: hahahahahahaha
Agent Smith: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Agent Smith: you gave him head in a public park?
Agent Smith: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ohlookasquirrel: theres really no playing that off
ohlookasquirrel: but being the idiot that I am
ohlookasquirrel: I TRY to play it off
Agent Smith: hahaha
Agent Smith: you're not wearing any pantsx
ohlookasquirrel: Im slightly kinky, shut up!
ohlookasquirrel: so I sit up, hand still on his cock (this is why Im not good at playing things off) and pick up a card, turn to the skateboarder, and say
ohlookasquirrel: "blackjack"
ohlookasquirrel: then burst out laughing
ohlookasquirrel: the boarder left, but he was a leeetle too happy, and it kinda ruined the moment
Agent Smith: hahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahhas
ohlookasquirrel: but I thought it was funny as hell
Agent Smith: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Agent Smith: you have to post about that
Agent Smith: HAHAHAHAHA
ohlookasquirrel: hah
ohlookasquirrel: i thought about it
ohlookasquirrel: but I already told like three peopel
ohlookasquirrel: and Its skanky
Agent Smith: yes it is
ohlookasquirrel: hey
Agent Smith: I just told Method
ohlookasquirrel: WHAT?
ohlookasquirrel: Im asking him
ohlookasquirrel: you probably lie
Agent Smith: hahhaa
ohlookasquirrel: Im "sexually adventurous"
ohlookasquirrel: thats not skanky
ohlookasquirrel: so pfft you
Agent Smith: hahahahaha
ohlookasquirrel: did you really tell him?
ohlookasquirrel: I think hes lying
ohlookasquirrel: grarrr you
Agent Smith: hahaha
Agent Smith: what?
ohlookasquirrel: you DID tell him
ohlookasquirrel: damn you agent smith
Agent Smith: heehee
Agent Smith: it's funny
ohlookasquirrel: he goes
ohlookasquirrel: "its cute"
ohlookasquirrel: I hate you
Agent Smith: hahaha
ohlookasquirrel: on the downside
ohlookasquirrel: I have mosquito bites all over me
Agent Smith: Next time you should play crazy eights.
ohlookasquirrel: on my ass, on my inner thighs
ohlookasquirrel: its ungodly
Agent Smith: haha
Agent Smith: that's hilarious
Agent Smith: you shouldn't have told me this
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-01 07:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DEAR ME, WHATS THIS?`
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-01 07:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*cough*
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-06 18:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't turn a ho into a housewife
Hos don't act right
Hos on a mission
Hos on a crack pipe
Hey ho how you doin' where you been
Probly doin' ho stuff, cuz there you ho again
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-06 18:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DEAR ME, WHATS THIS?`
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-16 10:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the way you cough these posts back to the MRR you sly dog.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-04-16 10:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<cough>
Submitted by Mr_Anderson (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WILL GET YOU AGENT SMITH
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-10-12 03:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAAAAAAAAAHA.
I run over squirrels.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-10-12 02:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahahahahahah
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-07-27 20:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
purdy damn funny.
So what is it that attracts squirrels?
nuts
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-27 14:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i guess that was a push! ... eh? eh? aww forget it.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-07-27 14:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaaa Squirrel, you're a funny funny girl. No wonder I like you.
What's this crap about OLAS being a hoe? For blowing her own boyfriend? Well then I must be a big freakin whore cuz I FUCK my husband. OOOOOooooOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Losers! Losers! Kiss my big Springfield behind, Shelbyville!
-- Homer Simpson
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-07-27 00:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's 'MOE' like it.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-07-26 16:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As guilty as I feel for having read such a brutal abuse of confidentiality, this definitely gives me a whole new respect for you, OLAS. Not in a dirty old man way, but in a "hey, she's smart AND a little freaky - cool" kind of way.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-07-26 13:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this reminds me of somethign I should post.... but I won't
haha, love it.... what exactly is minor though if she's at yale?
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-07-26 13:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So OLAS wanna go play in a park?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-26 13:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this post needs to climb higher on the Most Heated list.
Submitted by Sambuca310 (user info) at 2004-07-26 13:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-26 13:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BUSTED!
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:31:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Minors engaging in sexual activity in a public place. The authorities will be notified. We're watching you.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:31:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Minors engaging in sexual activity in a public place. The authorities will be notified. We're watching you.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-26 13:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm surpirsed you found a guy with a penis that is bigger than your nose.
I fucking hate these agent smith things.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-26 11:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
You're just lucky this hasn't gotten to the top of Most Heated, Squirrely. The one Agent Smith did about me got over 3000 hits.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-26 09:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate you all. This was not supposed to stay on most heated until monday damnit.
Strangely though, as I told agent smith, I'm more pissed that he didn't correct my spelling and grammar mistakes than I am that he posted this.
Is that wrong?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-26 09:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Burns: Well, Simpson, I must say, once you're been through something
like that with a person, you never want to see that person again.
Homer: You said it, you weirdo.
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-26 06:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apu friend me good
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-07-26 04:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha.
-Black Ninja
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-07-25 20:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
This is the exact story of this time I was in the park with my (ex)girlfriend. Except I wasn't the one giving the head. And my name isn't ohlookasquirrel.
+2 for making me remember a fun experience.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-25 18:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it has my name in it.
Submitted by KevinHo (user info) at 2004-07-25 18:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blackjack
Submitted by Olas (user info) at 2004-07-25 14:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They do it by being EVIL and having way too much time on their hands.
Actually, munkey, just scroll to the bottom of the page, and copy paste the quote. They were just trying to get it on most heated.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-25 14:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shenanigans or not it was a funny story.
Olas, you're the best.
what is with all of the simpsons quotes??? how do you people do that?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-07-25 10:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw. Our little squirrel growing up to be kinky. It's sweet.
Call me in a few months. ;)
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-07-25 10:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me, who saw that coming?
Submitted by Lady_in_the_radiator (user info) at 2004-07-25 08:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Drunken giggles*
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-07-25 05:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to watch Squirrels in parks...isn't that perfectly natural?
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-07-25 03:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I was that skateboarder :-/
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-25 03:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress 'em up, and make 'em reenact the Civil
War! Heh, heh, heh!
-- Homer Simpson
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-07-25 02:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You're going down agent smith."
It looks like you've already gone ......... you know what, fuck it, the pun isn't funny.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-25 01:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im shaking in my boots.
You don't want to go to war with me, young lady.
Ask Kristen.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-25 01:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No no no no NOO
You're going down agent smith.
The list of people I am taking down grows longer:
Agent smith
Method
AJ
The skateboarder
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-25 01:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO
Submitted by scholarlyplayer (user info) at 2004-07-25 01:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck, i'm nineteen, i don't care
Submitted by scholarlyplayer (user info) at 2004-07-25 01:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, is she really a minor? how much of a minor
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-25 00:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh hanson, no you didn't go there.
Now you're going down along WITH aj.
Except, I'm not clever enough to think of a plan...
Someday.
Submitted by DoctorMonoculous (user info) at 2004-07-25 00:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ATTN POLYAMOROUSGAYJ!
If you have something to say to me, you better damn well let me finish before you block me like some kind of pussy.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-25 00:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Check the bathroom wall at the local rest stop
"For a hell of a good time, call Squirrely"
Submitted by scholarlyplayer (user info) at 2004-07-25 00:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who is this chick, and where can i get her digits?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy how to
be a man! Let's see; don't tattle, always make fun of those different
from you, never say anything unless you're sure everyone feels exactly
the same way you do.
-- Homer Simpson
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Asleep at the switch! I wasn't asleep! I was drunk!
-- Homer Simpson
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oy fucking givolte.
You people shall never cease.
This is pitting my two instincts of "I should be ashamed" and "but by god I'm still the attention whore I always was" against eachother.
I still call shenanigans.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what
about those really smart ones who live among us who rollerskate and smoke
cigars?
-- Homer Simpson, on Heaven
The Telltale Head
~*~*~*~*~
By the way, I second that question. What the hell ARE we up to?
Submitted by ATTNGHEYMENZ (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Australia
ATTN GHEY SK8BOARDERZ!!1!11
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I. Many of
them incompetent boobs. I know this because I've worked alongside
them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions
time and again and I say this stinks.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Odyssey
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something
stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!
-- Homer Simpson
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
-- Homer Simpson
Simpson's Roasting on an Open Fire
------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Homer/Apu/Moe:
You can do it, Otto!
You can do it, Otto!
Apu: Make this spare, I'll give you free gelato!
Moe: Then go back to my place where I will get you blotto!
Homer: Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel at 2004-07-24 23:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What in god's name are you people UP to??
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa: Remember, Dad. The handle of the Big Dipper points to the
North Star.
Homer: That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in
the woods.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But let me tell you, the slim lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a
big fat dynamo.
-- Homer Simpson
King-Size Homer
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lenny: Yeah, he got injured on the job and they sent him home with
pay. Pfft. It's like a lottery that rewards stupidity.
Homer: Stupidity, eh?
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Homer: Ooh, look at this one! The Hammer of Thor! (Reading) "It
will send your pins to ... Valhalla?" Lisa?
Lisa: Valhalla is where vikings go when they die.
Homer: Ooh, that's some ball.
The Telltale Head
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-24 23:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They said the same thing about Urkle; that little snot. Boy I'd like
to smack that kid.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart Gets Famous
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Marge: Maybe it'll turn out that he was innocent all along.
Homer: Earth to Marge. Earth to Marge. I was there ... the clown's
G-I-L-L-T-Y.
Krusty Gets Busted
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And she only told me this story so I'd have to tell her my dirty stories too. Damn it.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is highly arousing.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom, youre just mad she wasn't slobbing your knob. Shut your face.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AJ, if you can't respect one's privacy, then one cannot respect you.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, squirrel's a smarty mc smart smart. And she gives head.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-24 22:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha... I feel so guilty giving this a +2.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-24 20:41:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:33:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Squirrel, please indicate whether or not you are ok with this being posted so I know whether to be mad or laugh my ass off. That is all.
What an asskisser. Shouldn't you rate how you feel and not ask permission?
~*~*~*~*~*~
No. Because if this was a story that was shared in confidence and then broadcasted over the internet, then I would be mad at Agent Smith for being an asshole. However, if it was a story that was broadcasted over the internet with permission, then it's a fucking hysterical story. And that IS how I felt. I wasn't kissing ass, I was getting the whole story before I made my judgement.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I call shenanigans. I am not Agent Smith. He is awesome though.
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, you've discovered me. Good job.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agent Smith is revealed.
John Galt.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-07-24 21:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agent Smith: that's hilarious
Agent Smith: you shouldn't have told me this
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-24 20:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:33:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Squirrel, please indicate whether or not you are ok with this being posted so I know whether to be mad or laugh my ass off. That is all.
What an asskisser. Shouldn't you rate how you feel and not ask permission?
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and +2 cuz I'm going out to get FUCKED up tonight.
Me + pain killers = good times.
And alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
I'm glad I don't have work tomorrow.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lack of anger confirmed.
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I still call shenanigans.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Galt you are the man
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAA
It's ok, Viv. I would have done the same thing.
Maybe not in a public park, but.. yeah.
+2 for you!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:33:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Squirrel, please indicate whether or not you are ok with this being posted so I know whether to be mad or laugh my ass off. That is all.
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck.
Submitted by Random Josephine <iknow.at.you.com> at 2004-07-24 20:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a +2 that doesn't count, "Agent Smith". Nice detective skills.
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Minors engaging in sexual activity in a public place. The authorities will be notified. We're watching you.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Minors engaging in sexual activity in a public place. The authorities will be notified. We're watching you.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did i enjoy this?
Submitted by Minus_Two (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i give this a +2 for revealing the facts. its always good to know who is a Hoe and who isnt.
good luck with your life of STD's princeton!!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny shit.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What. The. Fuck.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bawahahahahahaha...
guess i had those yale chicks wrong all along
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only feel right +2ing this.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHENANIGANS
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-24 20:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, if anyone calls shenanigans on this, as squirrely says she most undoubtedly will, she also admitted the entire ordeal to me, and I have it logged. If anyone wants proof, AIM me at Ubermethod and I will send you the log.
Seems our Squirrely isnt so innocent after all.
And no, I'm not Agent smith.