I am the scourge of 8 yearold girls everywhere (900 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.57 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <plap1234.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-25 18:20:15 EDT
It seems that most people on Uber are semi intelligent people, who are unhappy with their
crappy jobs. I am no exception to this. On the movie "Fight Club" Brad Pitt gives this monologue
about a generation of people pumping gas and being slaves with white collars. This always
seemed very true to me. It's a damn shame how so many bright young people, who can contribute
a lot more, are forced to work these jobs, that destroy ones "soul" and turn these workers
into lifeless corporate zombies.
We all deal with this fate in different ways, and find various creative outlets to vent our
frustration. This site is one of those, but it's not enough.
I work at a call center. If you've never worked at a call center before I would seriously
advise against it. It sucks. You have to talk to stupid people on the phone all the time and
you often get yelled at by these people for things that are not your fault. Although I would
not wish this job on my worst enemies it does have it's little perks. Because I answear hundreds
of calls a day for many companies, some of these numbers being 1-800 numbers, many of the calls
I get are prank calls from stupid little kids.
Part of my harmless fun at work consists of abusing these kids and make them think twice before
calling me again. If they swear at me they will receive a barrage of foul language the
likes of which they have never heard. Little kids don't like it when you prove to them how gay
they are. Sometimes they are not very smart and I copy their number from the caller ID, and call
them back later and harras them. If they call from a mobile I sometimes send them text messages
about how they are stupid and will go to hell when they die, because their gay. Tons of fun for
everyone!
All was well until a couple of weeks ago. I was working late at night till 01:00 A.M.
Around 00:00 midnight the calls calm down and I am able to quietly surf on Ubersite. Unfortunately
this is also the time most of the prank calls start to come in. The next call I got was from a
Little girl who had the odacity to disturb my internet quality time. The call went something like this:
Me: "Some company hello, how can help you?"
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "I'm sorry what was that?"
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "Look, I think you have the wrong number."
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "Is this the only word you know?"
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "Ok, I don't have time for this. Goodbye" CLICK
After I hung up on her I thought it was over. But 30 seconds later she calls back.
Me: "Some company hello, how can help you?"
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "You again? There's no Maya here go away."
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "Jesus Christ" CLICK
After that she called twice more and the call fell on two of my co-workers who were there. The
routine was the same and they hung up on her. The fifth time she called she fell on me again and
I was determined to stop this prank caller in my usuall manner.
Little girl: "Maya."
Me: "There's no Maya here she's dead."
Little girl: "Where's Maya?"
Me: "She's in Hell."
Little girl: "Maya?"
Me: "No, I'm sorry she's dead. Goodbye." CLICK
My co-workers who overheard the conversation were laughing their ass off. Sure enough she called
again. This time the call fell on them and both of them continued my shtick and told her Maya
was dead. Then the call returned to me again.
Little girl: "Where's Maya?"
Me: "She's in Hell."
Little girl: "Maya?"
Me: "Maya's dead." CLICK
Eventually she stopped calling. About 30 minutes later the supervisor of some company called us
and told my supervisor about the following incident: Aparrantly the daughter of an employee of
theirs named Maya called us to look for her mom (the line is fowarded to our company after working
hours, so the girl thought she was calling her moms workplace), and one of our workers told this
girl her mom was dead. Aparrantly the girl paniced and really thought her mom was dead.
Whoops.
Although I was not the only one to participate in this, I took the blame. I guess it was mostly
my fault, but the truth is I wanted to get fired. I've been working here a long time and I would
get a nice sum of money in severance pay if I got fired. If I quit I get nothing.
Sure enough a couple of days later the vice president of my company called me in for a talk.
V.P.: "Can you explain what happend there?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I thought the girl was a prank caller."
V.P.: "I see. Our reports say you are a good worker, but I can't have a scandle like this on my
hands. You really damaged the company, we're gonna have to let you go."
Me: "It's ok I understand, if I were you I would do the same thing. Too bad, it's been a good run."
I shook his hand and walked out of there with a smile on my face.
The problem is my company is run by a bunch of cheapskate assholes. They figured out how much
money they would have to pay me to fire me ,and even though it was not that much money by any
standards, it's their policy not to pay severance if they can avoid it. They would make my
life so misrable I would quit before they fire me. So I'm still here.
Bastards. I'm really going to have to outdo myself next time if I want to get sacked.
This means war!
User Reviews
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-08-27 08:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! Thats it! Get Fired!
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-08-27 08:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nope. unoriginal, not creative, not funny.
try again.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-26 01:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Maya?
Submitted by Arakasi (user info) at 2004-07-25 19:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Girl calls tech support looking for mom.
Man thinks she's a prank caller, tells her her mom is dead; should have gotten fired but since the company doesn't want to pay severance, he's still there.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-07-25 19:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah Maybe I'm sick, but that's great.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-07-25 18:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Look, I didn't read this because it was too long. Someone please just sum it all up for me in two or less sentences.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-07-25 18:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She was a stupid kid anyway, just look for a better job somewhere else.