The Sun God (501 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.5 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nuggs (View user info) at 2004-07-27 00:35:05 EDT
The waves crashed against the shore, releasing a salty breath into the air. To my left the rocky cliffs were surrounded with low hung clouds. Across the ocean the sky was dark, highlighted by the glowing streak of the horizon. The view made me think of eternity. It does not matter how often I visit the ocean, it always makes me melancholic, it makes me aware of my own mortality.
I stood with my feet in the water- waves lapping at my ankles. My dress was clinging to my legs and my hair was being whipped by the wind. I was forcing myself to take deep breaths to relieve the anxiety of my desperation.
My pain in facing my own mortality. My struggle with accepting the Human Condition. Try not to think of eternity.
I felt his presence before I saw him.
The clouds rose and blew off across the hillsides. The wind settled and the humidity lifted. The ocean retreated.
The depth of his eyes reflected the entire world back at me; past, present, future all working together to bring me to my knees. Although his physical presence was strong and demanding- it was his soul that made me submit. To be near him made me feel as if he were not only the God of The Sun, but the sun itself.
There I was, standing on the shores of Greece, before the son of Zeus.
He shot me with his arrow of insight and he conquered my unconscious terrors... he did this without knowing his powers.
Before I could absorb every ray of his presence, he was gone. He left me standing on the sand. No longer touched by the elements. No longer horrified by the future.
The ocean stayed calm, the clouds did not re-appear, and even the cliffs seemed to take on a less ominous stance.
He had brought the sun with him, and when he departed, he left it behind.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-28 22:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(past tense)
hah
duh me
duh
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think that's an issue of TENSE... it's simply how I write.
I'm no literary genius, that's for sure... and it's been almost 10 years since my highschool english classes...
But I'm pretty sure this is all present tense.
"dress was clinging to my legs and my hair was being whipped by the wind"
That's all present. My dress was clinging to my legs, and the wind was whipping my hair.
But I don't really know, all I know is that I have no clue what you're talking about.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just learn to control your tense, you jump all over the place.
Ex. "dress was clinging to my legs and my hair was being whipped by the wind"
...the dress clinging to my legs, my hair whipping in the wind...
...the dress clang to my legs while my hair whipped in the wind...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's easier than you think.
You are in control of your mind and your body.
Anything is possible... anything that is difficult is only made difficult by the limitations you put on yourself.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-27 10:56:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apathy is easy?
No, I don't think so. In fact I think quite the opposite.
Apathy is an easy state to creep in to but you just try getting out of it. It is almost impossible. I rage and struggle against apathy daily. The only time I am not apathetic is when I am asleep. I love sleep. Sleeping is my favourite activity.
Apathy is convenient and protective but it is not easy.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 10:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah what a relief.
Lately, the posts that I truly love are -2ed and such for no apparent reason. I was scared that this would happen to this post as well.
Whew...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-27 07:37:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Ex_Lux_Astrum (user info) at 2004-07-27 03:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmmm.....ocean,waves crashing, pissed off gods, wild and slightly sea-salty poontang....... brings back memories of vast horniness................
You always were a seagods daughter
Kissed by the breeze and blessed by water,
And through those glorious moonbathed nights
We shared our love, playing among the bright
Summer sands and raging turquoise foam-
Ocean's children- wild and free to roam:
In happy abandon we waltzed the moonlit coast,
With the sea as our symphony, our restless host...
But why this sadness and desperate tear,
This heaving breast so warm and dear?
Your tears flowed to cool our cheeks, and this,
Your breath as cherished as the soft kiss
Of an evening breeze, flowing through me
To meet the cry of a lonely sea;
I hold you so close our hearts resound,
As the breaking crests on searocks pound:
You look to me in your loving way
And to the sea, and coming day,
And after one sweet clinging kiss, you
Break our last embrace and run crying to
The deep and misty blue, the azure
Welling depths, your home so pearly pure:
But then, I thought (laying near the water)
You always were a seagods daughter.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-07-27 02:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is most dissapointing.
seeing a post titled 'the sun god' i naturally assumed it was about me. people usually refer to me as 'Sun God'.
but then i read the 'son of zeus' nonsense and realised this concerns some kind of imposter!
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-27 02:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got a boner.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-07-27 01:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bien.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 00:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha- yes, Ouzo does warm me up.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-07-27 00:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouzo can have that affect on one Nuggetta.