The Perils of leaving your computer on overnight (913 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.56 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Butterball the Cat <Cosmo788.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-27 01:18:09 EDT
Apocalypse
The Evil Adware Army
Vs.
The Protectors of The Light
The computer was under attack. It was 4:30 in the morning, and Matthew was still sleeping. As was his custom, however, he always left the computer on overnight. "What harm could it do?" he always asked. He was about to learn.
Chapter One: First Assault
"March faster, maggots!" yelled Apropos, lieutenant of Xupiter, third in command of the mighty Adware army. The army numbered over 10,000 thousand annoying, persistant Adware demons that had been gathering in the bowels of the world of Vaio for months. Spurred on by the low amount of patrols from the master of this place, Lord Norton, they had gathered swiftly, and were now marching towards the core. The demons' whole mission in life was to see the downfall of Vaio, and the one place with enough connections to the rest of the world, and to other worlds, was the core. The core was where messeges came and went, where wizards magically communicated with other worlds, and it was the home of King Norton, and the fabled Knights of Light. If the Adware demons took control of the core, they could bring about the downfall of the entire world of Vaio. Also, from the core, they could travel to other worlds and multiply. The Knights of Light were haters of spies, of dishonor, and most of all, the Adware demons. The foremost of this order of knights was named Eric "The spy sweeper" Chul. He journeyed far and wide, destroying Adware demons wherever he found them, but of late he had stopped in his duties, and was furthering only his own interests at the core, alone with Lord Norton.
Apropos forced the Adware army to march the rest of the day, bringing them onto the plains of Sony, and almost within sight of The Core. The attack would begin the next day.
The Core was home to over 800 knights. They were highly trained, highly disciplined, and fiercly loyal. They were taught from birth to fight Adware demons and other annoyances. At their head was Lord Norton. Also, the Core was home to a variety of wizards, the chief among them known only as "The Messenger". He alone could communicate with other worlds, and had a wide command of magic at his disposal. From his tower, he saw the Adware army approach. He warned Lord Norton, and at once Norton rode from The Core with over 500 of his knights. He left Eric in charge of the Core. When they came into range of the Demon army, the attacked at once. In the first charge, each knight slew over 10 demons. But the rest crowded around, offering penis enlargement, or free porn, or a chance at a $200 shopping spree. Many knights fell under this onslaught, and some gave into the temptation of these offers. For every knight that gave in, another 50 demons appeared, due to the curse of the Adware. But, the advantage was still with the Knights, with Lord Norton hearing none of their offers and slaying them by the hundreds. Norton attacked towards the Master of these Demons, Xupiter. When he got there, he slew him without a word. As he was doing this, though, Apropos snuck up on him and cowardly struck his back. Norton, without a word as always, fell silently. Seeing this, the 350 some knights fled quickly back to the core, knowing the assualt would come soon.
The soldiers watched from the edge of the core as the demons approached. The core was not a place designed for war, and did not have walls, or even a stronghold. The Demons came closer, and then charged into the city. The knights fought valiantly at every turn in the streets, mustering their strength and even counter attacking a few times. But, bit by bit, they were being beaten back into the tower of The Messenger. At the last, only 100 knights remained inside the tower, all that was left of the once glorious Core. With a final attack, 4000 demons flooded in, and grimly slew all that opposed them. Messenger alone escaped, using his powers to get to another world, thinking to warn them of the demons approaching. All the worlds he could find, however, were either taken over or under seige. He decided to just wander the void for the rest of eternity.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matthew woke up at about 9:45, and went to his computer to look up some stuff he had been wondering about the other night. When he got there, he found that the screen was just black with red streaks. "What the..." he tried to push Alt +F4. Nothing. Alt + Esc. Nothing. Alt + Ctrl + Del. Nothing. He closes his eyes and tries to think of how to fix his damned computer this time. When he opened them again, there were hideous faces on his screen. Demon faces. Seriously freaked out now, he went to push the button to turn his computer off completely. Nothing. He dove under his desk, and actually unplugged it. His breathing slowing, and confident that he has victory, he starts up...but then he hears it. "Haha....hahahaha.......muwahaha.....MUWAHAHAHAH!!!" he stands up, and looks at his computer screen. One face. Laughing at him. Matthew picks up the hammer he stores near his bed, at hurls it at the monitor. A beam of red light stops it where it is, and hurls it back at Matthew, hitting him in the stomach and doubling him over. One last time before he blacked out, he heard it talk....."remember....always turn off your computer at night"
User Reviews
Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-08-31 15:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...I have that problem a lot. I get a good idea of something to write, but then I'm way too lazy to make it as good as it could be. Oh well, I'll work on it
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-31 10:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Original, I liked it very much. Maybe a little longer though? This could really have been something gold.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-07-27 10:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"But don't be a fuckhole and blame the "mighty spyware armies" because you went to a 3rd rate porn site and got nailed."
+2 for that comment alone
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-07-27 09:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-07-27 02:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, only PCs get that dumb shit. My Mac has been left on for approximately a month and I have zero (0) problems.
--------------------
Actually, only PC's run by people with no clue get that dumb shit. All 6 of mine have been left on continuously (even while I am on vacation) for over 5 years and I have never had a spyware infestation.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-27 01:40:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked it. and a valuable lesson for all.
you'd be insane to be on the internet, in todays world, without: a router, spybot, adaware, software firewall and antivirus. and to leave it on overnight without AT LEAST the minimum listed is just asking for trouble.
did i mention they should all be installed AND THEN CONFIGURED PROPERLY. just installed to factory defaults isn't usually good enough.
good luck
--------------------
That said, a "software firewall" is 99.99% useless. All it does is prevent unsolicited incoming traffic. Most spyware is installed either by a web site you have visited, or by a "freeware" game or program you have installed. You actively went and got it. Since spyware that resides on your machine actively solicits inbound traffic, a software firewall won't prevent anything. Run Ad-Aware and Spybot weekly. OR even better, shell out 20 bucks for the plus version of Ad-Aware and let it run continuously in the background.
But don't be a fuckhole and blame the "mighty spyware armies" because you went to a 3rd rate porn site and got nailed.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-07-27 09:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Apropos, lieutenant of Xupiter
that made me giggle skipped the rest though
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-07-27 02:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, only PCs get that dumb shit. My Mac has been left on for approximately a month and I have zero (0) problems.
Submitted by floridastate311 (user info) at 2004-07-27 02:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF?
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-27 01:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked it. and a valuable lesson for all.
you'd be insane to be on the internet, in todays world, without: a router, spybot, adaware, software firewall and antivirus. and to leave it on overnight without AT LEAST the minimum listed is just asking for trouble.
did i mention they should all be installed AND THEN CONFIGURED PROPERLY. just installed to factory defaults isn't usually good enough.
good luck
Submitted by Chris__Atler (user info) at 2004-07-27 01:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like a story parents tell their children....
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-07-27 01:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't make me smile...made me scared.