I got chased by 3 fat girls in a car, I am scarred for life (7707 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.8 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by -------------------------------------- --------------------- (View user info) at 2004-07-27 05:33:55 EDT
I am scarred for life.
First off, let me introduce you to the characters. Lets call them 'Pumpkin', 'Carrot' and 'Big S'
Pumpkin - A strange creature. Pumpkin is the perfect description for her. She is in the shape of a Pumpkin, Fat and stubby! I never knew there were such people of this size. Her ass is massive, each cheek a large basketball. Her legs don't part, and she wears tiny little revealing skirts and she can hardly walk, she waddles. She has a disgustingly ugly face. She has fat pink cheeks, dirty buck-bunny teeth, a potato nose and dyed blonde hair with orange re-growth at her shoulders.
Carrot - A Funny thing, she looks like her sister but she is a lot taller. She has a rather fat gut and ass. She has a very ugly face. Short black hair and teeth like Pumpkin. Not a good sight
Big S - Pumpkin and Carrots mum. This is a very large woman. She looks like a little bit of Pumpkin and a little bit of Carrot, but triples the ass.
These girls are the devils. There fat, cocky, bitches.
Heres the story.
My friend and I went to see these girls. They live just around the block and have an X-box with cool games. So we sit in their living room, Pumpkin and carrot on one couch, me and my friend on the other, playing a game while Big S uploads porn for shits and giggles.
My friend and I hate these girls with a passion, we would love too see them burnt at a stake while we dance around the fire and laugh. Why we are at their house? No idea. These girls have a weakness, their phones. They love their phones with a passion and if we happened to take one of them they would crack. We plan to take Carrots phone, just for fun. So here am I sitting on the couch playing 'Grand theft auto: Vice City"
Carrot: Hey Joel do you want something to eat?
Me: Fuck off I'm playing
Carrot: Fine suit yourself
My friend: Quiet Carrot
Me: Let's go!
Pumpkin: Can I have a hug?
Me: No
Pumpkin: Why not?
Me: Because I don't like you
Pumpkin: You're a real dick Joel!
At this point my friend innocently places Carrots phone into his pocket. Yes! We innocently leave and get on our bikes.
Back at my house we snicker and giggle like school girls touching the first penis. This should be interesting. Within seconds she was already pranking her own phone seeing if she had misplaced it and can hear the phone ringing. We don't pick up. Hell no. She rings it again and again. Then my friend made a big mistake.
My friend: I'm going to answer
Me: No!
-He picks it up, here we go-
My friend: Hello, who is it?
Carrot: YOU! WHY DO YOU HAVE MY FUCKING PHONE!
My friend hangs up
My friend: Shit she was angry.
Me: Hahaha! We are fucking dead. Do you know what these women will do? They'll eat us alive! They'll squash us until we beg to die!
My friend: Ok! We'll give it back
We make our way outside onto our bikes and make it to the end of the driveway. Just then a terrible thing happened. I look down my street as I see a familiar car turn into the intersection. Three extremely fat girls in a car heading our way.
Me: Ah jeez! Shit shit shit! Fat girls coming our way
My friend: Hahaha!
I couldn't help but laugh as well. Then they pull in my driveway. Carrot gets out of the car.
Carrot: GIVE ME MY FUCKING PHONE OR I SWEAR YOU ARE DEAD!
-She's looking at me as she says it-
Me: He has it!
-I point too my friend, I just dobbed him in-
Carrot: GIVE IT TOO ME!
My friend: How much do you want it?
Carrot: I SWEAR DON'T FUCK WITH ME!
My friend: You want it? Come get it
Was he serious? Oh my, we are dead. I laugh to myself
My friend: Let's roll! Follow me Joel
My friend hops on his bike. Is he retarted? Oh well, I'll go with the flow. I hop on my bike and follow my friend up the street. I look back and Carrot is furious. I laugh to myself again. She hops back in the car and they start the car up.
My friend: Shit, are they after us?
Me: You bet!
The car pulls out my driveway and drives full speed up my street. She comes right up our asses and is trying to ram us down! We swerve onto people's lawn and driveways. At this point we are both shitting ourselves.
Me: There going to run us down!
My friend: I have the phone, they want me, ill take off, and you distract them!
What? Distract them? He was serious. I slow down and she slows down. She doesn't have the guts to run me down, or so I thought. My friend takes off up a dirt track between 2 houses. She slows down and stops. I stop and hop off my bike and look back. They're about 10 metres away. I give her the finger and yell out "Fuck you".
This got her angry. She hits the pedal. Shit she's going to try and hit me. I jump off my bike and run with it. She hits the back of my bike just missing me as the front wheel crushes my back wheel. I jump leaving my bike there. It was all in slow motion. I land on the lawn.
My jaw drops as she gives me the finger in the rear-view mirror. Shit, this means war! She gets out of the car near the 2 houses and the dirt track. Wow, their all going after my friend, on foot. I get up and run after them. Seeing them run was the funniest thing ever. Three fat girls running in short skits with lots of make-up on, tits bouncing, ass's wobbling. So I run holding my stomach because I'm laughing that hard and holding my arse so I don't shat myself.
They run up the dirt track with me after them. They stop dead still in the middle. I run up the dirt track and run to the left of them, I figured they stopped for a rest. I ran about 10 metres away then stopped. Me on the left of them, My friend on the right of them, and the fat whores in the middle. Big S speaks!
Big S: Which one of you has my daughters fucking phone!
Me: Not me!
-Shit, I just dobbed on my friend, again!-
My friend: Yeah, I have it, want it?
Carrot: Yes, I want it
-In a calm voice, she's trying too be nice and win us over-
My friend: I don't think so
With that my friend throws the phone over the fence into the field. The phone hits the ground and everything falls apart.
Carrot: OH MY GOSH I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE I NEVER WANT YOU AT MY HOUSE AGAIN, FUCK YOU JOEL!
-note: she was talking too my friend, we are both named Joel, but I have changed his name to "My friend" to save confusion-
My friend: Good, you know what, fuck you too! Your all bitches and I hate you all, get fucked! Joel lets go!
He rides and stops and I jump on the stunt pegs. I turn around and hear crying/yelling.
Carrot: IM GOING TO TELL THE POLICE, YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!
Me: Carrot it's a fucking phone get the hell over it, you're a stupid slut and your fat pumpkin!
Pumpkin: What the fuck did I do?
Me: Nothing, I just don't like you
Pumpkin: You make me so fucking angry! You are so confusing!
We both give them the finger and ride off back to my house.
I jump off the bike and start laughing, and fall down onto the lawn. Then something clicked. These girls came too my house uninvited, chased me in a car, almost hit me and screwed my bike! Oh this isn't over, not even close.
The war has just begun. We are planning our next attack!
God have mercy on us all.
User Reviews
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-06-15 12:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because punks not dead, just in some sort of coma
punk on
pete
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2004-11-13 05:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the fuck was this dragged back up??? Its weird because it was the first review I made since my return to Uber... I'm further down under wolfsweb before I'd even registered as mrwolf!
Scary.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-11-13 05:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
eat the fat peoples
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-08-09 14:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Someone's been reading too much 'fat chicks in party hats'.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-09 14:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Try a NSFW next time.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2004-08-07 04:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shenanigans, O.K I mean it was good up until you said we both rode back...I thought your tire got ran over, you doubled on a bike with another dude or you just lied, sorry brother, don't quite cut it. I will just do the 0 cause I'm not a dick, however I'm sure you do know 3 fatties that you'd like to do that to.
Submitted by Ryo (user info) at 2004-08-07 04:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good. God.
You must strike back.
Submitted by mujer_alterada (user info) at 2004-08-07 03:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The history is funny, but if it is truth, you suck!
*Ü* Peace
Submitted by Sambuca310 (user info) at 2004-07-27 10:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hi-fuckin-larious story: +10
picture at the end: -8
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-27 09:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
fat preople have hearts too... big mutha fuckin' hearts!
Submitted by Chief_Rugger (user info) at 2004-07-27 09:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans. but entertaining.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-27 07:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by wolfsweb <wolfsweb.at.btopenworld.com> at 2004-07-27 07:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, not been here for a long time... What a shame my return is heralded with such childish boring donkeyspunk. I kept reading to the end thinking there would be a punch line or something, but alas no, just a fat bitch picture. I wouldn't be so harsh but the line about some girl finding a penis for the first time was just purile junior school shite. Your the irritating kid on his bike that refuses to move from behind my car when I'm reversing and then expects compensation when I mow your ass down. Your a stupid kid, and you'll never know it because you'll grow up to be a stupid adult, probably with a fat wife, and fat kids.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-07-27 06:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked monkey cocks. If this was true, you're a fucking idiot. Shit, I'd run you over.
I don't think this was true though, but you still suck.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-07-27 06:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate these types of fat bitches as much as you do, but WHY GO TO THEIR HOUSE?
Submitted by Charred (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by hawk (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Let the games begin.
Only +1 because it isn't nice to taunt/harass people because of their glandular problems. Besides, it sounds like they would be in for some three-way with you.
Submitted by slyphter (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Would have gotten a plus two if i hadn't had to rape my eyeballs with a wire brush dipped in acid after seeing the picture.
Submitted by surox (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"we snicker and giggle like school girls touching the first penis"
Youve got balls to take on not 1 but 3 fatttys. hats off to you
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm...
No.
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-27 05:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK this was subbmitted by me:
Punk-not-dead