Attack of the Space Invaders!! (848 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: ocd
Rating: 1.83 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nuggs (View user info) at 2004-07-27 11:27:37 EDT
Arms length, people.
Arms length.
Unless I have a crush on you, in which case, if you stand close I will start to blush and act coy... silly giggles escaping from my mouth. My brain will start arguing with my body. "Stop it!! Stop acting goofy. Don't blush! Calm down!".
Or if you're a good friend- you can stand too close. You can even touch me when we're talking. I like that. I like human contact with people I care about, respect, admire...
The rest of you bitches need to BACK UP.
***
"Excuse me, miss???". I turn around to see a big fat middle aged man standing about 10 feet behind me. He's waiting for me to come to him. I stand, rooted in my spot, and raise my eyebrows.
"Yes?" I say (loudly, since he is still 10 feet away). He ambles over to me, and I take a few steps towards him, just because it pains me to stand still, waiting (im)patiently for him to walk his slow ass over to me.
He pushes his glasses up on his nose, and wipes the sweat from his brow. "Do you have Raiders of the Lost Arc?". He takes one more step. He's in my personal space.
I back up.
He advances.
I turn sideways.
He swings around.
I back up again.
He advances.
CAN he NOT TELL that he's standing too close???
"Well, if we have that movie, it's probably under the R's, right? Let me look for you." I quickly walk down the aisles of DVDs. A... B... C... ah... here are the R's. Funny how they are still sit right between the Q's and the T's!
Again, he stands too close. I hand him his movie, and quickly bow out.
***
I go back into the break room. 6'4" co-worker wants to talk. He's towering over me. I keep backing up, he keeps coming closer to tower. He's talking with his hands, waving them around. "Back UP! Jesus." I say, and push him away.
"Haha, what?!"
"Dude, you stand way too close. I hate that." I start doing my impression of him. I stand on my toes and wave my arms around like a zombie. "HEY CORINNE! I'M A SPACE INVADER!" I say, in a zombie voice.
I don't mind the 6'4" guy, he's a cool guy, but I don't want him towering over me.
Then smelly black tooth guy comes in. "Hello Corinne..." he says. He speaks slow and quiet. His pants are so tight that his balls show.
"hi." I try to make it over to the fridge before his breath assults me. He follows.
"So, Corinne, how is everything...?" He puts his hand on my shoulder. I try not to cringe.
"ah. Good, man. Thanks." I smile politely and walk away with my food. 6'4" guy is sitting at the table, and I do another zombie impression for him before I sit down. I'm funny, I tell ya.
Black Tooth laughs, although he's not quite sure what I'm doing. He sits in the chair next to me, and scoots it a little closer.
I can't help myself.
"Dude, scoot over. I need space."
He scoots over, giving me a weird look. I put my zombie voice back on and try to joke around some more, to make me seem less bitchy.
Someone else walks in, and since my back is to the door, I don't know who it is. They put their hands on my shoulders. I feel rage boiling up. I take a split second to consider my options. I'm on the verge of blowing up. The person starts massaging.
I'm getting pissed. My face is starting to turn red. I can't breathe.
Oh- it's my Crush.
tee hee hee giggle giggle
I love when people touch me!
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-12 15:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and it's arK.
Tee hee.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-12 15:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, this was pretty great.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-28 04:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-07-27 14:31:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
When people invade my space, I touch their genitals. They tend to back up then, and if they don't, they are queer. Or they can't move cause they are a girl and the power of my Donkey attraction won't let them leave.
ahhhhhahhahhaaaaaa
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 16:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah shit, Herpes... next thing you're going to say that you make me blush.
I am touchy feely with some people... but I'm NEVER a close talker.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-07-27 16:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if you noticed it.. but YOU are a close talker. And very touchy-feely.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-07-27 14:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When people invade my space, I touch their genitals. They tend to back up then, and if they don't, they are queer. Or they can't move cause they are a girl and the power of my Donkey attraction won't let them leave.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-27 14:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 13:26:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Insane... yeah, sounds like what I go through!
Apollo... I already corrected myself. At least I didn't use "than" wrong!!! Huh, what what??
---
I use "than" and "then" wrong all the time. Word never catches it either.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 13:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Insane... yeah, sounds like what I go through!
Apollo... I already corrected myself. At least I didn't use "than" wrong!!! Huh, what what??
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-07-27 13:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What? No aliens?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-07-27 12:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny how they are still sit right between the Q's and the T's!
???
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-27 12:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting.
I had a friend over about 3 weeks ago and she just kept coming very close to me and at that moment I didn't feel like doing any close talking, so I would move a little while trying not to make it obvious. When I sat down at the table when she was in the kitchen, I tried to do it two chairs away so she wouldn't sit 10 inches from me.
She actually got upset about it and then of course I got irritated, needless to say she wasn't there much longer.
Usually it doesn't make me all that uncomfortable, but then again, no one ever seems to be right in my face.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 12:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think people do it to intimidate me.
I think the problem is that I take a LONG time to warm up to people... I'm picky about who I allow myself to feel close to... so I don't like people getting too close emotionally OR physically.
And most people who know me like me (believe it or not, bitches), I goof around a lot, I'm friendly, etc... so I think people often warm up to me WAY before I warm up to them.
And close-talkers who are strangers- well, they are all just pervs, obviously.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate that...sometimes.
Submitted by KevinHo (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a space invader once, until I chopped off his balls and ate it for dinner.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love getting into peoples personal space. I really do. Especially when I'm trying to intimidate them.
I don't get bothered by people in my space too much.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hah, I'm retarded. I said the R's are between q's and T's.
Poor Forsaken S's!!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-27 11:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate close-talkers, too. Although, getting into somebody's 30"-36" of airspace is a good intimidation tactic.
Touchers freak me out though. There is no reason to touch me to tell me anything.