Lesbo Cop (491 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.5 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MrFunions (View user info) at 2004-07-27 18:08:03 EDT
I was a Junior in highschool, had just received my license. Contrary to what other people on this site did in highschool, I was a relatively tame kid. I never did pot or drank really through highschool. I was clean and so were my friends. But you wouldn't think that were true when we got stopped by what gangsters refer to as "the Five-Oh".
I picked up my friend Tim from his house, then made my way to get Steve, then Peter, and finally Matt. It was about 10pm and we were going to play basketball at the local University of Maryland Baltimore County (aka UMBC). On our way to shoot some hoops, Matt exclaimed that He had lost his dog and asked if I could stop by the police station to see if anyone might have turned his dog in.
I told Matt that it wouldn't be a problem to check the police station and we drove over there. Anyone familiar with the area will know there is a police station directly attached to the UMBC campus which has a dog training facility where they teach dogs to sniff out cocaine and other narcotics and such. Apparently they have a dog impound there as well so it was well worth a shot to see if anyone had found a lost dog there.
Well at this time of the day it was late at night and when we pulled into the police station, no one was there at the time. There was a large Ford Explorer SUV all black with tinted windows parked at the far end of the lot. Other than that, it seemed like there was no one in site. I stayed in the car while Matt and Steve walked up to the Police Station. They knocked on the glass and looked in to see if anyone would answer and after waiting a few minutes they came back to the car.
As they ventured back Someone yelled from the Ford Explorer "Hey what are you kids doing." I couldn't see who it was only heard a faint voice. Then Matt explained his situation that he had lost his dog and the person in the SUV told him that he should try next door where the dog impound was, and that they would be the ones to ask. Apparently we were in the dog training facility, I of course didn't know the difference.
So Matt and Steve got back in the car and I asked Matt if he wanted to go over there and he said no thanks he'd check with them tomorrow and lets go play basketball because it's getting late and we wanted to get a good game in before the lights went out on the court. So it was then that I left the police station and made a right, heading towards the basketball court instead of the left that would have been required to go to the dog impound. Now heres where I start to freak out...
I'm young dumb and full of well you know the rest. So the SUV pulls out behind me and is tailing me like a motherfucker. So I slow down to the speed limit and am sure to make a complete stop and every single stop sign I see. As most campuses probably have, there were a lot of stop signs. So this guy behind me is flashing his high beams at me trying to signal me to do something. But what could it be?
So I drive even slower and again the high beams keep flashing at me blinding my eyes in the rear view mirror. Well finally I figure I have 4 other guys with me so if this person wants to rape us or something they're going to have to go through all of us. I pull over right by the basketball court and the SUV pulls behind me. Then I hear the footsteps outside my car and sit with my hands on the steering wheel and roll down the window. Then I see a large woman of medium stature with a stern stance and a peach fuzz mustache. I mean this lady was as butch as you get and I thought to myself we're fucked.
Then she whipped out her badge. Who would have thought someone driving an unmarked SUV flashing their high beams at me was a cop? I mean don't cops normally drive around in cop cars? That's what I thought anyway. Then started yelling profanities. It was something of the effect of "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDS DOING" "YOU KIDS ARE FUCKING UP TO NO FUCKING GOOD" "DO YOU FUCKING KIDS HAVE LICENSES" "DO YOU HAVE FUCKING DRUGS IN THE CAR". I don't know what it was about throwing out the F-Bomb so much. Maybe she felt like she could scare us into telling her we were up to no good.
I tried to explain to her that my friend really lost his dog and that we had came to play basketball. We did have a basketball in the back, I even showed her! I pointed at the basketball and said look we have a basketball, there is a basketball court, we're trying to play basketball. Apparently since we didn't take her advice of checking the dog pound next door, she came to the only logical conclusion that we were on drugs and had come to the police station to set free all of the animals as though were were in some junior PETA club or something. Oh yeah this LESBO COP knew we were "fucking up to no good."
So then she asked for all of our licenses. Not just mine (the driver), but all of my friends as well. Not everyone had id on them, but she gathered the licenses that she could. I guess she wanted to see what everyone's names were? It was then that an unexpected thing happened...
Her face went bright. She peered into the back of the car and yelled "Stevey is that you?" "Oh Stevey you're with these guys, oh I believe you then, you all can go on your way and play basketball." As my friend blushed in the back, LESBO COP handed our licenses back and went on her
way.
You see my friend's father was a 911 dispatch officer. Apparently in his dealings with other officers he had dealth with LESBO COP. So I guess if there is anything to learn here it's always good to have friends who know officers of the law. Because you never know when being fucking up to no good can get you pulled over by a big ass SUV.
User Reviews
Submitted by savethepunks (user info) at 2004-07-27 20:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What exactly made her a lesbo?
+0 for an uninteresting story
-1 for possible bigotry
Submitted by DBPH (user info) at 2004-07-27 18:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 because the title got me all hot and bothered.
-2 because it was boring.