"Are You on the Rag or Something?" (1011 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ferretnose (View user info) at 2004-07-28 05:07:51 EDT
Allow me to introduce "Michelle". Michelle is an amalgamation of me, a close female cousin, my best friend, and other women I know personally. This post was inspired by: http://www.ubersite.com/m/35160 which I have been mulling over for a couple of weeks. It took awhile to decide to actually post this, as some people would be offended by the subject matter. Then I realized that I am submitting it to a forum in which some folks have the crudity to describe the quality and texture of their bowel movements. So tally-ho.
Michelle is born to a typical middle class family. She has a three year old brother, Tim. When baby is brought home from the hospital, Tim is delighted with her. After the novelty wears off, she's the most annoying thing. Every time she cries, someone rushes to pick her up. If Tim cries, he's told not to be a crybaby.
Michelle turns six. For her birthday, she receives a baby doll. She totes it around with her everywhere she goes. Tim snatches the doll from Michelle's arms and dunks it in the toilet. She begins to wail with absolute rage; her "baby" has just been dipped into the nastiest place on earth. Tim laughs his ass off when he sees her screwing up her piggy little face, and balling up her little fists. She kicks her brother, and Dad promptly puts a stop to the fight. Michelle seethes in anger all day, but isn't allowed to express it anymore, because Mom washed the doll, and she "just needs to get over it."
Over the years, it becomes apparent to Michelle that it is perfectly acceptable for her to cry- but it is not acceptable for her to "pitch a fit". Nobody comes right out and says this; it is conveyed by the attitudes and gestures of everyone around her. She gets more results by acting babyish and wounded. When Tim gets mad at his parents, he yells, and says this that or the other is unfair. Of course he gets in trouble for talking back, but he is always able to make his point. When Michelle is angry, and she shows it, it's called being a "brat" or "throwing a fit." Somebody nips her in the bud every time. She is never able to fully express anger.
Michelle is eleven now. One day at recess, she is hanging off the monkey bars when a couple of boys begin laughing and pointing in her direction. "She's on the RAG!" one boy shouts with glee. She drops to the ground, looks down, and sees the big red spot on her pants. Soon, the other boys are laughing. The other girls are embarrassed for Michelle, but don't say anything. She covers her face in humiliation, and runs to the office, where Mom picks her up. The next day at school, the kids are calling her "Spot".
For the first time, she has experienced an insult that is directed at her simply being female. It takes at least two years before everyone forgets about it, kids being cruel and all that. She feels worse than the kid who got lice last year. (They called him "Bugs".) At least "Bugs" could get rid of the lice.
Age seventeen. Once again, her boyfriend is pressuring her for sex. She tells him no, but he keeps at it. Indignant, he rolls his eyes and says, "What, are you on the rag, or something?" Does he think she's refusing sex because she's on the rag? Or is he accusing her of being a stuck-up bitch? Why doesn't he understand that she is just not ready for the responsibility? He seemed so nice before. She dumps him, and he goes around telling everyone what a snotty bitch she is. In particular, he explains to all the guys that she's "an ice princess". Typical teenage shit.
Nineteen years old, and Michelle is hanging out at the Oak Tree (a huge tree out in B.F.E. where everyone gathers to play music, have bonfires, drink beer, etc.) with some friends. She is sitting on the wheel-well in the back of her cousin's pickup truck. She has a slight buzz on, and is having a wonderful time, looking up at the stars, when Jackass shows up. The same jackass that she dumped back in high school. He is quite F.U.B.A.R.'d. Immediately he begins to taunt her, calling her every insulting name for a female in the book: Bitch, cunt, slut, etc. Apparently, he never got over being slighted.
She puts up with this drunken bullshit for about three minutes, then tells him to get away from her or else. "Or else what, bitch? You gonna call your asshole cousin over here? What are you gonna do about it?" Then he pokes her in the shoulder.
Michelle grabs hold of Jackass's long shaggy hair (this is 1989) with both hands, and begins to beat his head against the truck's toolbox. She is able to get in about 5 good slams, when her cousin (fresh out of ARMY boot camp) runs up and pries her off of Jackass. She has 2 handfuls of his stringy hair.
After her cousin beats the hell out of Jackass, he scolds Michelle: "You could've gotten hurt bad, Shorty. Why didn't you just holler, and I would have put a stop to it. Besides, that shit ain't fair. You put him in a bad position, even if he was being a dick. I can't believe you did that. Are you on the Goddamn rag or something?"
Michelle is twenty-five! She and her husband have a small, nice apartment, and are expecting his parents over for dinner. She wants everything to be perfect, because hey, let's face it, most of us want to impress the in-laws. While she's running around trying to make dinner for HIS parents, whom HE invited, he's sitting on his ass playing Nintendo. She politely asks him to clear off and set the table. "Yeah, in a minute, Baby."
Ten minutes later, and he's still playing. She's annoyed, but tries to keep it civil by gently reminding him. He gets up and does it, but, when she goes in the dining room, she sees that it looks like a band of one-eyed monkeys set the table, and he's back in the other room, again absorbed by Mario. KABLAM! "All I asked you to do was set the damn table! Your parents will be here in a minute, and there you fucking sit! You could at least go put on a shirt! Goddamn it!" He pauses his game, looks up at his wife and asks with dripping sarcasm: "Are you on the rag or something? Jeezus-pleez-us!"
Thirty years old. Michelle's husband is taking her out tonight. She has gone through everything in her closet, and nothing seems to look right. It's really important to her to look good tonight, because she still cares enough about her husband to want to impress him. After much deliberation, she chooses an outfit. She has also scrubbed, buffed, brushed, and perfumed herself to perfection. She goes downstairs where he is waiting. She is in hopes of a "Wow, you look gorgeous", but there is none. They go out, and she is unusually quiet all night. He doesn't even notice.
On the way home, she bursts into tears, and tells him how his lack of interest made her feel. This leads to an argument. And of course, he has to say it, because there simply is no other explanation: "Are you on the rag or something?" To which she replies, "Yes, I am on the rag! That make you happy? Does that make you feel better?" Hubby gets a date with Rosie Palm that night, and he thinks it's because she's on the rag. He's confused when he notices "Tampax" wrappers in the bathroom trash can later that month. Two periods in one month? Hmmm. (Actual story, folks!)
That's the end of this particular tale, but I'm sure that when Michelle reaches menopause, her husband will chalk every outburst of hers up to NOT being on the rag ever again. She'll have hormone replacement therapy, but that won't matter. She's female, and many men have a weird Victorian attitude concerning angry women- she's not angry, she's having hysterics, vapors, feminine complaints. Women are crazy and irrational, right? There were patent medicines in the nineteenth century for women having "hysterics". Is it any wonder that these quackeries were, for the most part, alcohol? Take note that the word "Hysteria" means "a sickness from the womb". So maybe we get moody at that time. That doesn't explain anger away.
The whole point of this rather ridiculous theme is this: Parents, let your little girls become angry. Do not reserve the right to rage for only the male members of our household. Don't let your girl child think that she has to cry to get things. By doing this you will take away her natural born ability to defend herself against the things that life will throw at her. Female creatures are born with rage- this allows us to defend our children to the death- and society promptly squelches it. You must allow anger to explode, or else it will fester. Don't raise a whiner, raise a fighter. Later on she can learn to channel it.
Also, you men in serious relationships/marriages, please don't play "Pin the Rag on the Raging Female". As in, "You're not really mad... you just happen to have a vagina. Is it bleeding? Because that would explain everything."
Regards,
Ferretnose
P.S.
Just for future reference, I do not make Ad Hominem attacks; neither do I respond to them. Having said that, some dumbass is going to think, "WTF is an Ad Hominem attack? Oh well, I guess I'll just write to let her know what a stupid wench she is."
F.
User Reviews
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-01-10 01:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent writing.
"Method, I would dearly love to go to Ubercon and show my boobies, but alas, I gotta work and can't get away. Waitaminnit... my hubby didn't give you clearance for that! That requires a Top Secret security clearance. Shame on you, Method.:D"
Is a Secret Clearance enough?
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2004-12-07 00:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chief_Rugger (user info) at 2004-07-28 16:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My mom raised me pretty much by herself, she never used crying or manipulation to get me to do anything, none of the women in my family do that. Yelling was occasional, but it was warrented (I was a a bastard both literally and figuratively). but she never resorted to the kind of stuff you were talking about, if she was angry she vented, and vented HARD. and no-one said it was because she was on the rag. -1, because it was a bit bitchy and discredited women who actually have some hardship in life.
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-07-28 15:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't it strange how some things jump out at you out of nowhere and cause a nearly violent shift in your ways of thinking?
I hated my mom when I was growing up. She was selfish, immature, and always tried to get whatever she could from anyone. She normally did it by screaming, cussing, manipulation, but rarely did she employ whining or weakness.
I think this is the first time I've felt grateful for that. I most definitely did not turn out to be a whiner, and I can stand up for myself very well.
Thanks for writing that.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-28 15:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Also, you men in serious relationships/marriages, please don't play "Pin the Rag on the Raging Female". As in, "You're not really mad... you just happen to have a vagina. Is it bleeding? Because that would explain everything." "
Amen, sistah!
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-07-28 15:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:45:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad I'm a guy.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-07-28 15:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am well aware of the fact that not everyone is raised in this fashion. Perhaps I should have said that as a disclaimer, but I'm was quite sure that it didn't need to be said. This was not a plea for sympathy. Only a small part of the story was me.
Also, yes, some of you will be too young to care about the subject matter. When you have your own children, you will find yourself perpetuating sexual sterotypes that you never knew you subscribed to. If you have siblings, you are already doing it. Trust me on this one.
I want to stress, even though I mentioned it at the beginning, this is not the story of one life. These are anecdotes from several lives compressed into an easily readable whole. There is no character development because there is no character. "Michelle" is used as a device. Every one of these things happened, but not to the same person, get it? There should be something in this that most women can relate to, either by similar things happening to her, or things she heard about happening.
For those who have trouble looking beyond the surface, let me clear it up for you: This is not a story about some chick getting her period at school, or some chick who gets pissed because everyone keeps accusing her of being on the rag. This is a post about the suppression of anger, being insulted for simply being female, and having one's important issues overlooked because you are female. Most of you know that I am not at all a feminist writer.
I doubt most people under the age of 30 have ever heard of a woman "catching the vapors". It's a term my grandfather used, and it's very Victorian. It is a condescending phrase describing the generally ridiculous behavior of women as seen by men. That's why it was mentioned in the same paragraph as "Victorian attitudes". These days they just call it being a silly bitch, since nobody cares about putting things delicately anymore.
No, I'm not on the rag, Random Joe, and if you want your votes to count, log your ass in and quit being anonymous.
Method, I would dearly love to go to Ubercon and show my boobies, but alas, I gotta work and can't get away. Waitaminnit... my hubby didn't give you clearance for that! That requires a Top Secret security clearance. Shame on you, Method.:D
F.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-07-28 11:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tonight on Lifetime.
I hate this sort of drivel, expecting me to feel sorry for some lady. Jesus, at least she had dates in high school after the entire "spot" thing. She apparently had a decent, but somewhat empty life.
It is extremely well written, and does get across it's point. Therefore the very definition of 0, worth reading. :)
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-28 11:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry about you/your friend/cousin etc...'s growing up without getting to yell.
I know my sister yelled whenever she wanted. We didn't blame it on her being on the rag or vapors or whatever the hell else is feminine. We blamed it on her being bitchy, which happened much more than once a month.
In the end, despite being well written and having a good point, it is pretty bitchy piece. Honestly, tough break for you story character, but not everyone gets treated that way.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-07-28 11:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:45:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad I'm a guy.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great piece.
I have felt this way on many occasions.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-28 10:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
how did this not come up yet?!... ARE YOU ON THE RAG OR SOMETHING?
maybe i'm too young to care about this shit... too bad anonymous votes don't count i think.
Submitted by NOWorNEVER (user info) at 2004-07-28 09:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-07-28 09:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im happy i don't bleed out of my peener...
good writing.
Espo
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-07-28 09:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I'm feeling pretty good that I've never used that particular line right about now.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-28 09:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I could hug you right now.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-28 07:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-07-28 06:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written, bleeding bajiner lady.
Submitted by chgable (user info) at 2004-07-28 06:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant ! I'm gonna start bullying my niece around !
Check out this : http://www.ubersite.com/m/39739
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-07-28 06:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess you're not on the rag then..
Excellent btw
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-07-28 06:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking brilliant
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-07-28 06:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to have sex with each paragraph.
awesome.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not a stupid bitch. It's high time that the entire world learned that sometimes women, too, get angry, and periods are not an excuse for that. So the guys should stop attributing every emotional moment to hormones, and women should stop using it as an excuse to act like a Bride of Satan.
Excellent piece of writing.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad I'm a guy.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wish I had an excuse a few days a month to be angry and irrational
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hells yeah.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-28 05:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come to Boston and show us your boobies. Your hubby already OK'ed it.