Stoned, In A Cop Car (1001 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.58 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <brdn_nkd.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-28 09:54:58 EDT
During high school I was a recreational pot user. Never bought the stuff but on the occasions that someone offered to share would usually partake. My roommate's girl and I had nothing to do so we went to a friend's house, John, where he offered to light us up. We all enjoyed a few joints and then John suggests we go for a drive, in his car. We drive out of the city to this little neighborhood that has one of those hills you can lose your stomach on if you drive fast enough.
It's about 10:30 P.M., we're out in the boonies, so we figure that it's probably safe to speed excessively over this hill to catch a cheap thrill. Speed limit 25, we're doing 45. As we crest the hill we see a car approaching us.
Me: John, that's a cop.
John: no it's not
Car gets closer
Me: John, that's a cop!
John: shut up man you're just paranoid
Car goes by us
Me: JOHN THAT WAS A COP!
John as the red blues flash on and the cop whips a shitty: Aw Fuck!
As we're slowing to a stop we all rolled our windows down, I casually, without thinking about it (I am stoned after all), throw my cigarette out the window. Then John turns to me and hands me three joints.
Me: what the fuck am I supposed to do with these?
John: don't care but I can't have em on me, I can't go to jail again!
I wasn't ready for that shit. I had no idea he'd visited the slammer for possession. What the hell?!! I had a hole in the lining of my jacket so I shoved em in there acting as naturally as possible. The cop gets to the vehicle and takes John back to the car. He comes back a short time after that with a ticket for speeding. Then the cop comes to the rear passenger window where I'm sitting and says that he needs to see me. Holy Shit!
I walk back to the car with him wondering what the hell he wants from me. Wondering how I was going to get through this, high. Gnawing on the fact that I had three joints in my coat and I was getting into a police car
Cop: Was that a cigarette or a joint you threw out the window.
Me: it was a cigarette sir
Cop: I'm going to give you a ticket for throwing a burning object from a vehicle, you could have started a fire.
Interesting side note: this ass clown made that statement while pointing out the window at the snow covered field next to us.
Me: ok
Cop, as he's writing the ticket: you're eyes are awfully red
Me: I've been up since 5 this morning moving
Cop: all three of you?
Me: yeah they were helping me out
Cop: you been doing anything illegal tonight?
Me: no sir
Cop: you been smoking weed?
Me: no sir
Cop: you hittin the bong?
Me: no sir
Cop: tokin a J?
Me: no sir
Cop: maryjane?
Me: no sir
This cop definitely knew what was up and was waiting for me to screw up, something like: "Yeah man it's good shit want some?" He went through every name he could think of for marijuana while he wrote the ticket. It was the longest ten minutes of my life, sitting in a cop car with three joints in my coat while he asks me in every imaginable way if I'd been smoking pot, while I was high! The officer finally got to the end of the ticket and sent me back to the car and us on our way. John was sweating the whole time sure I was selling him out and making a deal or something. This was ten years ago and I haven't smoked up since, partially because of this incident, mostly cause I no longer have the opportunities.
User Reviews
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-06 10:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-15 02:45:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit! From your title I thought this was going to be about police brutality!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-15 02:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was ten years ago and I haven't smoked up since, partially because of this incident
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good for you!
Glad to see someone learning from their mistakes.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-15 02:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cop: you been doing anything illegal tonight?
Me: no sir
Cop: you been smoking weed?
Me: no sir
Cop: you hittin the bong?
Me: no sir
Cop: tokin a J?
Me: no sir
Cop: maryjane?
Me: no sir
_____
Hehehehehehe
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Was this funny? Not really
However due to going through a similar experience with an old teacher I'm going to be generous
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:05:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, so you've stopped now...
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-11-24 12:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Never bought the stuff but on the occasions that someone offered to share would usually partake."
Dude... -1 for free-loading off your mates. That's just WRONG. Bring an 1/8 sometimes... They'll be most appreciative...
Submitted by IamNotTheWorldTradeCenter (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A+
Not for the post, it was more of a solid B, but for your cop skills. Brief, deadend explanations, and stonefaced denial, that'll get you out of 9 of 10 situations. And the other 1, well, you're already totally fucked from the get-go so it doesn't really matter what you do. More people need to read this and follow your example.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:26:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WQP - hilarious!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was ten years ago and I haven't smoked up since, partially because of this incident
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Pussy
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. I dont smoke anymore. I used to get the fear something awful.
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man...I'd love to go to Australia.
I need an extended vacation.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA American Drug Law is funny. Come to Australia, no jail terms here...
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome! bravo for keeping your cool!!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-11-24 10:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Close call! Phew!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-07-28 12:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2004-07-28 11:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nowhere did I say I was a sophomore, though I was able to drive my sophomore year due to the fact that you could get a restricted license at 14 in SD. This was my senior year and yes I had a roommate, two in fact. was easier to not live at home, me and my fam got along better that way.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-28 11:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You had a roommate and were driving during your sophomore year of HS.
Submitted by Uptown_Alexa (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Been there too... only I was in a mini skirt with three friends in the back of the cop car, but got away by the skin of our teeth
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been drunk in the back of a police van, having said that that's why I was in the police van....
That's another story.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-28 10:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've already been drunk in a cop car and didn't get in trouble, but never stoned.