Because The Future Is Uber - Part III (1062 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gamma (View user info) at 2004-07-28 12:55:18 EDT
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39530
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39626
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AlwaysAnEagle was skating towards centre ice with the puck when the whistle suddenly blew. Confused, she looked around at the other players on the ice. Everyone seemed as clueless as she was. The head referee skated over and told her: "Get off of the ice. Someone is here to see you."
"Hi AlwaysAnEagle. How are you?"
"Hey Hidden101. Things are alright...but your being here makes me think things will change."
"Might not be bad. As you heard earlier, we're approaching a planet. AlahAckbar and I were chosen by Bart to recruit a team of people to verify the safety of the planet. You are one of the chosen four", replied Hidden101.
"Sounds like fun. Count me in", said AlwaysAnEagle.
"Good. We meet tomorrow at 1pm in my room."
WiKi held blankets over her naked body, as Method was hunched above her.
"Don't worry! You trust me, don't you? I would NEVER show anyone pictures I take!" exclaimed Method as he aimed his digital camera towards WiKi.
As WiKi opened her mouth to reply, there was a loud knock on the door.
"Get lost, I'm busy", screamed Method.
"Open the door or else I'm breaking it down", replied AlahAckbar from the other side.
Method stood silent for a minute, waiting to see what was to happen next and wondering if he should put some pants on. A constant thumping on the door began. On the seventh hit, the door broke down. In the entrance, there was the figure of AlahAckbar. He was wielding a titanium baton in the shape of a peener.
"Method, you've been chosen for a mission. You have no say in the matter. Show up at Hidden101's room tomorrow at 1pm", said AlahAckbar as he started to walk away.
"Wait! I'll be there...but can we borrow your baton for the night?" asked Method.
Hidden101 walked into Matt Maiorano's room without knocking. The latter was busy filing his thumb nail into a sharp point. Ever since his crazy stories about werewolves gained popularity, he had forced himself into the story's persona. Without looking up, Matt said: "I already know. I'll see you at 1:00 tomorrow."
"How did you..."
"Don't underestimate the powers of a werewolf."
"Whatever. See you tomorrow", replied Hidden101.
AlahAckbar made his way to Shark25's room. Getting within 15 feet of the door, he heard some very loud moaning, followed by "Heh...Heh...Heh...alllriiiight." Deciding against intruding, AlahAckbar scribbled the details on a piece of paper and slid it under the door.
Walking back towards his room to play some Halo, AlahAckbar spots the thing that irritates him the most in life. Acting completely retarded and making no sense at all, there it was. A newbie by the name of unholy_liver_spots.
"OMGLOLBBQ! AlahAckbar, u suckz. yur a godamn mecrob. i r hate u!"
Without hesitation, AlahAckbar once again whipped out his peener shaped baton. A swift blow between the eyes and unholy_liver_spots was down.
"stop it u prick. yur jst a mother..."
In a flash, AlahAckbar stuck his baton into the man's mouth, pushing it deeper and deeper until it finally pierced through the back of his neck.
"Good thing I didn't leave this with Method and WiKi", AlahAckbar thought to himself.
Since nobody knew how long they would be gone, or even if they would be back, each member of the team spent their night on the ship doing what they liked best. Hidden101 returned to the bar to have a drink and speak with jme7551. The two of them disappeared into the stock room not to be seen for several hours.
AlwaysAnEagle decided to she wanted to lay low. She contented herself with the idea of watching a movie. On her way to the ship's movie emporium, she tripped on unholy_liver_spots' carcass, fell on her face, and broke her nose for the third time in her life.
Matt Maiorano spent the night lurking about the ship, filing his incredibly long thumb nails, and finally settled on playing various old videogames.
After finishing an hour-long session of Halo, AlahAckbar decided to run around the ship, terrorizing and beating on Uber's incompetent citizens.
Method and WiKi snuck into the ship's self-contained park and quickly shed their clothes.
"Oh look, a lawn Gnome! Why don't you go pose with it?" asked Method.
"If you really want me to...It kind of creeps me out, but since I'm your bitch and will do everything you say, I'll do it!"
Needless to say, the pair spent the rest of the evening taking pictures of each other in compromising situations.
After Shark25 saw the note left for him by AlahAckbar, he thought to himself: "Holy shit. Tonight is the last chance I have to get some loving!"
With that, he ran off to find willing participants. It is said that on that night, various Uber citizens spotted Lojope, munkeypants, and even ohlookasquirrel leave his room.
Everyone got some well deserved sleep after their active, or not so active in the case of AlwaysAnEagle, nights.
User Reviews
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-02 23:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-31 10:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamm, this is great stuff. 'Specially cuz im in it, abusing Wiki.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-30 19:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so you're telling me I had sex with shark, lojo, and olas??
AWESOME!!
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-29 01:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can't wait for the next one.....what the? GODDAMNIT WiKi!! YOU LEFT A MESS ALL OVER ME!!!!
i feel so used.
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-07-28 18:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus fucking 2.. i cant keep this up without mentions tho..
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-28 16:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YES!
I love you.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-28 15:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe, I'm trying to include as many people as possible. However, I don't want to go all out and introduce 15 people in one part just for the sake of mentioning names.
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-07-28 14:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:49:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for lack of Will Zone.
"the whole if you have candy, you better have enough candy for everyone in the room" rule.
---------
agree
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-07-28 14:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
P33N3R
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-07-28 14:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Har har har!
Nothing else seems to describe this gem.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for lack of Will Zone.
"the whole if you have candy, you better have enough candy for everyone in the room" rule.
give me a cameo and kill me off if need be.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
After Shark25 saw the note left for him by AlahAckbar, he thought to himself: "Holy shit. Tonight is the last chance I have to get some loving!"
With that, he ran off to find willing participants. It is said that on that night, various Uber citizens spotted Lojope, munkeypants, and even ohlookasquirrel leave his room.
***************************************************************************************************
I am an Uber Pimp!
But most likly it is how Lojope put it "sympathy sex"
I still got some!!
WOO!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I be in it? I promise not to make a mess. Actually, scratch that. Can I be the ship's medical examiner/doctor? Please please please?
This is shaping up to be a kick-ass series, by the way. Not that you needed me to tell you that, but I did anyway.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I wasn't mentioned specifically. But I'm sure as our valient soldiers are searching for their companions, a calamity escaped on the ship which only the pilot could solve.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gamma knows how to silence us little people.....
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's only subpar because you forgot the main character.
The man, the myth, the sideburns.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gnome: Be happy I didn't make method the one who posed with you :P
Submitted by UniBrowZIT (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha Awesome pure and simple...
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lojo's sexual encounter tally so far:
1) a smack on the ass from Fetish
2) a cuddle in a hot tub with Bart
3) a "this-might-be-my-last-night-alive" sympathy fuck with Shark25
Awesome.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what kind of poses was WiKi doing with me....?
and how come everyone else is getting some and i'm just a prop?
us cave dwellers get no respect i tell ya...
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Wait! I'll be there...but can we borrow your baton for the night?" asked Method. +1
AlahAckbar made his way to Shark25's room. Getting within 15 feet of the door, he heard some very loud moaning, followed by "Heh...Heh...Heh...alllriiiight." Family guy = +1
"OMGLOLBBQ! AlahAckbar, u suckz. yur a godamn mecrob. i r hate u!"
Oh My God, Laugh Out Loud, BAR-B-QUE? +2 for that, and another +1 for the "I R Hate u!"
"How did you..."
"Don't underestimate the powers of a werewolf."
That's pretty much what I would do too...Play Halo then run around a beat people with my penis shaped blunt object.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got laid!
GO SEX WOO!
Hidden you were awesome.
Keep em' coming I love this story.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-28 12:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good read...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-28 12:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See, if I were to be involved in any of these, this would be the one. Especially the part with OLAS, lojope, etc...
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-28 12:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uck. Seems below par to me. Maybe I should have waited and put more time into it.