The Bum Chronicles...(Part 1 ) (776 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.71 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ryan <rscott.at.sfsu.edu> (View user info) at 2004-07-28 13:41:20 EDT
I live in the beautiful city of San Francisco. Home of the Golden Gate Bridge, 49ers and a shitload of BUMS. The majority of these bums are suprisingly rather nice, good people. They grungly talk, walk, hang out with you on Haight and Ashbury. Just normal people, except they don't shave, shower, or eat as much as you do haha. Anyways, There is a select group of bums who love to harass, shock, and disgust tourists , especially in the downtown area. When I see this shit, it makes me fucking laugh louder than I ever Have...So I decided to Chronicle my Bum events here on Uber...b/c I realized that you guys might just truly appreciate them :-p HAHA!
Ok so here's the first story.
It was October and the day was Beautiful. There were no clouds and a nice ocean breeze which balanced the current Indian Summer we were having. I was on the Muni, the public transportation in SF, with a bunch of friends. We decided to explore the downtown area b/c the weather was still so nice.
Now during this time of the year there are still a LARGE number of tourists visiting the City. And they flock to areas like Fisherman's Warf and Union square on such nice days. These are the prime areas for the select group of Bums to shock and Aww the tourists.
So my friends and I decided to goto Union Square to check out all the fine rich chicks that go shopping down there and then maybe hit up Blondie's, an Awesome pizza place down there. So we get off on the Powell Exit and climbed the stairs and headed out of the station. We were greeted by tons of people hustling and bustling this way and that..and then... We saw this LARGE GREEN army fatigue blanket on the ground. The blanket was moving wildly in lots of directions. My friends and I just watched and wondered what it was and by that time we weren't the only ones b/c a small crowd had gathered. As we sat stupified, all of a sudden the blanket flipped open and a dirty nasty woman made the weirdest noise and expression. She half laughed and growled at the same time and showed a Black 3 toothed grin. We all jumped back and then saw the man-thing at which she was hudling over top of, another homeless bearded man with his pants around his ankles and black penis Exposed LMAO!...She was giving him Some very GUMMY Head. We all just stood there jaws dropped as she enclosed the blanket over herself again and conitued her good deed. This is the day that i realized homeless people have a sex life too...and perhaps better than most...WE hurried on afterwards going back to our college to tell our friends of our BUM adventure...it was nothing short of awesome :-D
Stay tuned at the same BUM TIME..Same BUM Channel for the next installment. :-D
Stay tuned
User Reviews
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-20 01:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bkST88r (user info) at 2004-07-28 14:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im glad you stared at his penis
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-28 14:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+10 for bumsex
-8 for all the damn happy faces
Submitted by Cryopaul (user info) at 2004-07-28 14:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad I already ate lunch...
Submitted by UniBrowZIT (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is he gay because he lives in San Francisco? Or are you just jealous of his awesome name that means Little King? Bastard at least have the balls to register if you wanna diss someone...
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This is the day that i realized homeless people have a sex life too...and perhaps better than most..."
It sounds better than mine is currently.
Submitted by dopey smurf <gmanop.at.aol.com> at 2004-07-28 13:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i know the author of this story. he is gay so dont read it
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This series has a lot of potential.
Submitted by UniBrowZIT (user info) at 2004-07-28 13:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for Bumsex!