I Am Going to Assassinate George W. Bush Tonight... (2373 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: -0.17 on 91 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2004-07-29 19:59:20 EDT
Hello, FBI, I see you beat the CIA...You should let them know they're dragging a little...
I'm just a patsy...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/5500
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-11 01:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-11-04 00:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love it. Not so much the joke itself, but the discussion. No, ETS, you're not the only socialist ;). America needs another revolution, because it stopped.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you were joking........
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Submitted by Tracii <Skiiergirl42.at.netscape.net> at 2004-09-14 18:05:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck is this. this is terribly writing your a threat to the whole fucking univers. go fuck a dick.
Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope the Secret Service busts down your door and fucks you in the ass.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-10-26 21:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-26 20:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I shouldn't have given you a minus for this because Bush is a shitwad. And I just watched Farenheit 9/11 again, too.
But don't jump my shit, whinyass beyotch.
Submitted by jc <j.at.jesus.com> at 2004-10-23 23:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you've got serious brass balls, if nothing else
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 23:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, DOS, I respect your opinion, as I respect all those who dig Tool in some way, but why have you been riding my case lately? What did I do to you? IM me and let's talk this shit over before it gets out of hand. I noticed Shlongy is on my case lately too. I understand if you don't like something, and this is kind of a shit post, but at the time I had just watched 911 and it pissed me off, so that's pretty much what this was about...
Sorry you didn't like it, though. I've done better since then. :)
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-10-23 17:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i hope you didnt think this would make you a 'bad ass' on Uber. in fact, it just makes us all hate you a little more.
BLAH BLAH BLAH look at me! im electrictoothsyndrome! i can type! BLAH BLAH BLAH
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-10-23 17:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the kind of thing that makes people end up in jail or getting a visit from the Secret Service, you fucking nitwit.
Submitted by eIectrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 16:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I will not belch the National Anthem.
Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-20 23:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I will not get very far with this attitude.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-18 21:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish somebody would
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-10 14:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
please do...
Submitted by Tracii <Skiiergirl42.at.netscape.net> at 2004-09-14 18:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck is this. this is terribly writing your a threat to the whole fucking univers. go fuck a dick.
Submitted by equalizer (user info) at 2004-09-14 03:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Equalized.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-09 19:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KieferSutherland (user info) at 2004-09-07 19:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you have no idea what Carnivore is, so be quiet; grown-ups are talking. look, people, there is no huge, elaborate, underground computer project that monitors the entire Internet. it just doesn't work that way. i was talking to an Intel Analyst for the FBI a couple days ago and he was telling me that the FBI is looking for people like me because i told him everything i know about how the FBI collects intel for things involving computers. too bad i probably can't get my security clearance reinstated, i'd work for the FBI. anyway, he was saying that the conspiracy theorists like this Pearnbran guy crack him up and i agree, it's pretty funny what people will believe. i blame Hollywood. you can't just magically get whatever you want from the Internet. there is no button you push that says "collect data on assassination threats" or "monitor Al Quieda traffic". the only way the FBI is going to see this is if someone tells them about it. then, if they care enough, they will obtain a warrant. then, they ask Bart if he can match an IP address to the username. they then trace that IP back to an ISP and go to the ISP and show the warrant and take a regular computer loaded with sniffer software and monitor traffic from the IP address of the suspect. that's Carnivore. there's the big secret...
At least that's what they want you to think.
Submitted by fake_bargled (user info) at 2004-09-07 19:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It wasn't a smell of decay, though.
Submitted by vengeance (user info) at 2004-08-13 22:32:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by FetishII (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:38:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hope this is what you wanted!
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Mr. Spam man, bring some spam. My nane is electrictoothsyndrome, and I'm like the 20th to spam Fetish this month, ain't I cool?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-12 19:38:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hope this is what you wanted!
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Better make sure you spam them all, I'm not missing a one, bitch!
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-09 18:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok....Heat!
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-07-31 22:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, its MY posts that involve no creativity whatsoever.
(looks up)
Oh wait, my mistake, what I meant to say was "You suck ass". You say that retaliation wasn't your goal yet you only rated my post with a -2 because I didn't leave a comment explaining exactly why your post sucked. You, sir, are an idiot.
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Bitch.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 21:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, my roommate went home today and was met by two guys identifying themselves as Secret Service...They questioned him at length asking where I worked and which room was mine and if I'd ever told him anything about wanting to kill the president. I don't know what he told them, but he knew that I had posted this, and had been scared for the last couple days.
At some point he asked to call his lawyer, but as any good friend would, called me instead. He told me in a round about way (a rough form of code was used during the call) all that I have told you so far.
Guys, I am scared...What should I do????
I've already started running. I don't even know why really. I never liked going to the principle's office. I didn't like the feeling it gave me in my body, like I am on the verge of a great precipice, and am trying to repel down it with fishing line.
If I could only take back this stupid post...........
They are tracing phone calls, so Mom, I love you! I never really got to tell you how good a job you did raising us. I realize it was hard but you did it anyway, and in your presence I always felt safe...and loved. I am sorry for this, and all the other things I've put you through. I don't know how, but maybe someday I'll see you again. Right now, I am in the place where I was always happiest. Just think of me that way.
Dana, you are my litttle sister....I love you more than I ever really got to express in words. Some things I guess just don't have to be said....I remember a dream I had one night when I was young. I dreamt you had died, and you were picking daffodils in a field that went on forever. You were wearing a flower dress and you looked happy...I woke up crying, wondering if it was real...I went to your room to find you safe in your bed. I hugged you and went back to sleep...
Dara, you were always the youngest, but I always had a special place in my heart for you. We are so alike! That is why we always fought. But that doesn't matter anymore, all that really matters is that you know that I love you very much. Thank you for sharing the magic of childhood with me. Maybe I'll see you in some other life.
Scrawny Girl & Ceeje, I have left you something special. I packed it with your stuff when you left with your mom. I never really thought the time was right to give it to you. It's in the Care Bear Chair.
It's getting time for me to go...I have spent too much time here already. I have to go...
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-07-31 20:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to sum up my feelings for this post and its related political debates with the following, decisive comment.
Meh.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gibberish: I can respect a comment. Retaliation wasn't my only motivation, your post wasn't that imaginitive. Don't expect me to cream all over your dootles just because you can draw. Honestly, you would have not gotten a rating at all from me on that post without the -2 no comment here. I would've simply passed it by and kept my opinion to myself.
Fetish: God I really respect your opinion. I can't remember the last time you posted something worth reading, Thursday or not. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This truly sucked.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Political debates rule!
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No comment, NO NEED TO FUCKING COMMENT.
I gave this post a -2 because it sucked. I thought I'd save myself some time and effort by just giving you the -2 and letting you assume that I thought it sucked ass. For some reason you couldn't understand that and had to go retaliate on my last post.
Fucking douche, here's a nice +/- 0 for you. It can only help the rating of this.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, Clinton, the great war monger...I agree, he did start a lot of wars while in office...you are certainly correct. You sure got me there.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-31 12:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lets dispel this myth right now
The first president I voted for
Was jimmy carter?
And one year I voted for Ross Perot
My folks were life long dems.
I vote for the Best man for the job.
And guess what. Most presidents have the blood of brave men on their hands
Look at the Flag of the USA do you know the history behind its design?
What do you think the red stands for?
I never voted for Bill Clinton and he has plenty of blood on his hands
But you give him a pass don't you.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-31 12:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So George W Bush made the 'tuff decisions'? Maybe. But faced with all those decisions, somehow every decision he actually made turned out to be the WRONG DECISION.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 12:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-31 11:23:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
First G.W. Bush is going to win not because he's going to cheat. Because he has a plain and integrity and he is brave enough to ( Make the tuff choice.)
Just saying he's bad president doesn't make its true. He made a lot of tuff decisions; he did so with the best people and best information that he could use. It's not an easy job. I wouldn't want it. Or would you.
Kerry is a pawn, he will be set up by his own party They want Hilary in 2008
If Kerry wins she cannot run.
Don't fool yourselves she wants to run
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I am sorry for what I said before. You are an even bigger dipshit than I thought.
"First G.W. Bush is going to win not because he's going to cheat." - That would be a welcome fucking change!
"Because he has a plain and integrity and he is brave enough to ( Make the tuff choice.)" - I am sure it is brave and tough to choose to send other people's children to die for personal gain...I wonder how much sleep murderers actually lose.
"Just saying he's bad president doesn't make its true." - He doesn't need any help being a bad president.
"Kerry is a pawn, he will be set up by his own party They want Hilary in 2008
If Kerry wins she cannot run.
Don't fool yourselves she wants to run" - Don't fool yourself any more than you already do by thinking that any politician is anything byt a pawn. They are ALL pawns - if not to special interests, then to the people...At this point I'd rather see a female Rick James be the president than the greedy, evil, stubborn, finger-pointing fascist that is Bush.
You need to grow up! I know you think you know something about the world, but you are diluted. You probably grew up as a Republican because your father and his father were Republicans, and you only vote Republican, because you think that anything different is somehow threatening to the stupid traditions you hold dear.
Whatever you need to convince yourself that you are not on the wrong side, which shouldn't be hard, because you are one of those people who believes that America is always right and everything we do is solely in the interest of making the world a better, safer place. One day you will wake up - haunted by the disturbing realization that you had contributed to the murder and oppression of innocent people so that automobile manufacturers could continue churning out gas-guzzling SUV's, so over-inflated consumers would buy them with no thought to environmental repercussions, and so a few bloated Fat-Cats could get a little richer.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-31 11:23:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First G.W. Bush is going to win not because he's going to cheat. Because he has a plain and integrity and he is brave enough to ( Make the tuff choice.)
Just saying he's bad president doesn't make its true. He made a lot of tuff decisions; he did so with the best people and best information that he could use. It's not an easy job. I wouldn't want it. Or would you.
Kerry is a pawn, he will be set up by his own party They want Hilary in 2008
If Kerry wins she cannot run.
Don't fool yourselves she wants to run
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 11:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I consider it nothing but prudent on my part to try and curb the idea that 'certain people' who I know are watching might have about this post being anything but the most awesome hilarious post they've ever read.
Actually I hope they put this up on the Secret Service break room bulletin board in the White House, and all the good folks there get a good laugh out of it.
like I said...if it was a matter of going to prison over some great principle in which I truly believed, I'd be all for it...but as is, though I wouldn't cry if Bush were assassinated, I have no interest in becoming a 15 min. media story curiousity. I have more important things to do.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-31 10:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why bother moving country? George Bush wont be in the whitehouse in 3 months time. And if you keep backing down like a fucking faggot electric, I am going to start -2ing this post. It was one of the most perfect posts on ubersite, now you are starting to taint it with your cowardice. I say FUCK THE POLICE (comin' straight out the underground).
And to the other faggot, you can go back to iraq and get blown up, feel free to die for Bush. You are both a couple of fuckheads who are better off dead.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 10:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sir, blind faith in anything, especially polititians and governmental systems is NOT patriotic, it's just ignorant!
Congratulations, you are helping the US gain more control over the mid-east oil reserves at the expense of the integrity of this nation, and the degradation of the citizens of another.
"Pushing little children with their fully automatics, they like to push the weak around!" - System of a Down
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-31 10:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What your doing is called spin, also known as damage control you have the right of freedom of speech also God gave you free will :however you as an adult as also by virtue of your age (over the age of 18} are responsible for your actions and words.
When liberals get caught in the tangled web they spin.and they do, This is a classic example of what they do.
I support freedom, I fought for it on the battle field, I was wounded and when I was healed I didn't ask for a discharge I went back to my unit. However In the Military you take an oath to preserve protect and defend the constitution against all enemies Foreign and domestic.
After my retirement I never retracted my oath, I served under a few presidents" commanders in chiefs"
And although I didn't always agreed with all their platforms or personal conduct.I still served with pride. When I didn't approve I voted for change. (Grape. if you hate the USA move out!) all you do is bitch, you want do something join the piece corps or Vista volunteers.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-31 10:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post was entirely impulsive - and was the product of several factors I can now, when looking back, pinpoint. Firstly, I was creating a response to Bart's post about John Ashcroft and the 'fucking absurd' Uber Terrorist Network. And that thought made me envision that there were FBI and CIA agents monitoring the site on a constant basis...
Hell, there are probably agents who are members! They apparently don't do much else considering the failures of our intelligence of late. It was a satirical response to the recent spotlight on this issue in American counter-terrorism intelligence.
Actually, I just wanted to end up on 'The Daily Show with John Stewart'.
In my private life, I am constantly prone to say that which, although extrememly humorous to me, to someone else could be contrued as offensive, rude, inappropriate, or in this case dangerous. I am not an expert in the law...I do not know if there are any provisions in the law to account for what I have done here. I am still not sure that what I have said has even the slightest hint of seriousness to it from any perspective.
Part of the humor was that Oswald was there, rolling up his sleeve, with his last words, "I am only a patsy." This was comical to me because I wanted it to seem as if Oswald himself had come back from the dead and was playing with the minds of the intelligence community. Then the obvious humor meant to be found in statement concerning the CIA and FBI lay in the insinuation that they had some sort of interdepartmental rivalry and competition which caused them to totally drop the ball when it came to the really important issues on which they wouldn't been best served working in cooperation.
The reaon this is being explained now as opposed to in the post itself was that jokes that are explained and analyzed quickly become unfunny. I am sure there are some of you who'll find my humor unfunny regardless, which is a risk you take opening your mouth, I suppose, but at this point I am trying to make my position as a non-threat to this or any other public official, institution, organization, or person. Hopefully, I have been clear enough in that endeavor.
If not...BLOW ME!
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-31 06:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just went and saw fahrenheit 9/11. On the off chance that some sleazy faggot from the FBI or CIA actually reads this, here is my message to you:
If you rounded up all the people who wish George W Bush were dead, you would have exactly enough people to fill a country the size of the US. This is, of course, because the whole country hates him.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-07-30 21:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No comment, no need to comment.
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-30 21:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THREATS AGAINST PRESIDENT - 18 USC 871, makes it a Federal crime or offense for anyone to willfully make a true threat to injure or kill the President of the United States.
A person can be found guilty of that offense only if all of the following facts are proved beyond a reasonable doubt:
First: That the person uttered words alleged to be the threat against the President;
Second: That the person understood and meant the words he used as a true threat; and
Third: That the person uttered the words knowingly and willfully.
A "threat" is a statement expressing an intention to kill or injure the President; and a "true threat" means a serious threat as distinguished from words used as mere political argument, idle or careless talk, or something said in a joking manner.
The essence of the offense is the knowing and willful making of a true threat. So, if it is proved beyond a reasonable doubt that the person knowingly made a true threat against the President, willfully intending that it be understood by others as a serious threat, then the offense is complete; it is not necessary to prove that the person actually intended to carry out the threat.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 12:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-07-30 12:21:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice title. That takes some balls.
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Yea, I just bought some of those pink fuzzy ones that hang from your mirror...They usually serve me well.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-07-30 12:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice title. That takes some balls.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 11:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Speaking of Socialism, am I the only one who thinks we should turn Socialist?
Might as well be the subject of a McCarthyist witch-hunt while I am at it.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey. You think because this is the internet it automatically hit the fucking radar? You know where the real plots against old George 'Fuckhead' Bush are being staged? Socialism and Marxist meetings. How many of those you hear about getting busted up? Not one? I thought so. Fuck Bush, we need a war hero in the whitehouse. If Bush wins the election, it is up the individual US citizen to take to the streets, destroy polling booths, looting and destruction. George W Bush rigged the last election, if he does it again it is up to us to put him in his place.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See what I mean, Big Brother??? This guy is crazy! If I didn't know any better, I'd say suicidal!
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CIA and FBI were created to protect tyrannical Presidents from being thrown out of power, just like the Tsar. How many people were executed for killing them? Nobody. You will only be branded a traitor if you fail in your task, succeed and you will be seen as a glorious revolutionist.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And perhaps it is time for revolution
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bin Laden doesn't exist. The attacks on the WTC were an order from George W Bush himself.
a) All offices in both WTC towers as well as the surrounding buildings were insured, yet the scrap metal taken from the wreckage to the South Pacific was never accounted for back onto that original insurance amount.
b) George Bush needed anti-Arab support for war in Iraq, which he will extend to include other Middle Eastern countries after he stages another fake domestic attack on home soil.
Fuck the CIA.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:18:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
'it' referring to me writing a hoax threat, as opposed to 'it' meaning me killing the president.
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AH Ah Ah!!!! I think THIS guy is the real threat! Look at him! Just sitting there all diabolically and shit, +2ing this post any chance he gets.
(I am sure the soldiers in Iraq wouldn't mind if you did 'it' dategrape...I think by now they just miss their families.)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It doesn't matter, my fucking picture is on one of my posts! I don't think I'd be really hard to find...
Why would I use a proxy? This is just a joke.
Yes it will hit google, yes it will be picked up, but no, I will not have moved from where I am, because I am NOT serious. Hell, if I were serious, don't you think that I would be careful NOT to alert anyone that I had this diabolical plan!? Why alert anyone and make the task that much more difficult? It makes no sense when it's reasoned out.
Actually I do kind of regret doing this, because someone will have to review it and make a determination on its validity...which ultimately is a waste of manpower that could be spent on more important things, such as...I don't know....catching Osama Bin Laden!
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'it' referring to me writing a hoax threat, as opposed to 'it' meaning me killing the president.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Sir/Madam,
I write to on behalf of the CIA regarding the latest threats placed upon G.W.Bush's life. We require your home telephone number, address, full name and address in order to rectify this matter. Please leave the correct details in a forthcoming response to this post.
Yours faithfully,
Rodney Bartlett,
CIA,
USA.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, no. Don't say that. This is one of my all time favorite posts. Because I considered doing it, and I don't think I would have the balls to write a death threat to the American President.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maggot (user info) at 2004-07-29 21:30:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
lol cant you get arrested just for talking about htat
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Umm, yes you can.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was pretty drunk when I wrote this though, so my sense of humor may have been slightly skewed.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But you did use a proxy, right?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not backing down, I am covering my ass, because now that I look at the post again, it really could be construed by someone who in the post 9/11 climate is obligated to follow up everything they come across as some serious threat.
People in positions of power tend to have little or no sense of humor.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why you have to go and pussy out? STICK TO YOUR FUCKING GUNS, DON'T BACK OUT WHEN FAGGOTS BITCH ABOUT SHIT LIKE FBI AND OTHER SUCH BULLSHIT. "OH NO, TEH FBI IS COMING!!!"
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the ridiculousness of the post is crystallized when the reader sees that pic of Oswald rolling up his sleeve as if to say: "let's get it on!"
I really wish I could go back and post this as Oswald instead of using my username, then that might have made more sense...
Anyone know a good lawyer???
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder if ECHELON is going to pick this up...
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then allow me to clarify...this is only satirical and is only designed to draw the reader's attention to the constant balancing of the security of the United States and the privacy of it's citizens and in no way was meant to be a direct threat on the president of the United States.
He's not even worth assassinating...I'll do my part to get him out of office the old-fashioned way - by voting!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For your own sake, even though we all know it, say that you are only joking. The men in black really frown on this sort of shenanigans.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Freedom of speech is protected by the constitution direct death threats to a setting president is not
What Constitutes a "Threat?"
According to this law -- 18 USC Sec. 871 -- which reads, in part:
"...Whoever knowingly and willfully deposits for conveyance in the mail or for a delivery from any post office or by any letter carrier any letter, paper, writing, print, missive, or document containing any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States, the President-elect, the Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President of the United States, or the Vice President-elect, or knowingly and willfully otherwise makes any such threat against the President, President-elect, Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President, or Vice President-elect, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both."
That covers a lot of deeds and statements. It gives the Secret Service a lot of latitude when conducting an investigation. There is a very good reason for this. Few jobs are more dangerous than President of the United States.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BIG BROTHER? BIG BROTHER? ARE YOU OUT THERE BIG BROTHER??? I STILL HAVEN"T FILED MY TAXES!!!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone has to see how far our government will go to try and limit our freedom to say what we want, even when it's obviously satire. We'll see what the Supreme Court says about it.
Besides they probably already have a file on me...but, they have files on lots of people who are not guilty of anything. They also have taps and surveillance on people who have never committed a crime.
By now the post is outdated, and is obviously untrue....my main concern when i posted it was that I would be banned from Uber for it...as for the authorities, they can suck it!
They have enough power to pick on countries who have done nothing, now just let them go ahead and turn on their citizens...it's coming anyway, might as well get the ball rolling on it...
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 07:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work. I was thinking of doing a similar post myself.
I hope you use proxy servers, but you probably have nothing to worry about anyway. FBI is fucking useless.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-30 07:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok daddy...this is what they do.... they watch message boards.thats how the 9/11 terrorists communicated. After they find some interested thread they sniff it. They have the people who can spell (not like hidden101 who might have had a clearance) the largest and fastest growing part of the military is the counter cyber terrorist branch. Also hidden101 FBI agents are not allowed to tell you anything but basic information (Because you don't have the need to Know as you have or a clearance) So along with the hacking they also monitor and I guarantee at lest one active duty Military person is on uber, and if they have contact the right people and the ball starts to roll.
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-30 06:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is the basic stuff what they will tell you about the program it doe's allot more than this.......What is Carnivore? Although the existence of the Carnivore system has been discussed publicly since early spring 2000, the FBI publicly unveiled the program used to conduct electronic surveillance of e-mail and Internet communications at the June 2000 meeting of the Telecommunications Industry Association (TIA). The public acknowledgement of the existence and use of the surveillance tool has sparked controversy from divergent groups nationwide.
Citing the increasing number of criminal investigations in which the suspects use the Internet to communicate with one another or with their victims, the FBI asserts that it has a significant, legitimate interest in the development and use of tools to prevent planning or commission of crimes via the Internet. Thus, the development of Carnivore.
Carnivore is a high-speed packet "sniffer" program developed by the FBI's Engineering Research Facility (ERF) to conduct electronic surveillance of e-mail and Internet communications. Carnivore is installed at an Internet Service Provider's (ISP's) facility to monitor selected transmissions.
As explained by the FBI, Carnivore basically works as follows: First, the FBI obtains a specific search order targeted to certain e-mail addresses or individuals. Then, the FBI and ISP identify an access point at the ISP that contains all traffic from the suspect. The FBI then connects a one-way tapping device at this access point, which produces an exact copy of all data at the access point. This copied data is then compared against a predetermined filter. Only data that is authorized for capture by court order passes through the filter and is stored on permanent storage media.
One analyst describes Carnivore in layman's terms as a "high-speed digital wiretap capable of discarding all information that is not to or from or concerning the subject of the wiretap order."
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-30 03:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didnt see it on the news assface
wouldnt it be funny though if this were gwb posting this, oh wait that might be too much for him
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-07-30 03:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-30 01:02:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
the carnivore program looks for crap like this so be ready dumb ass
=====================================================================
you have no idea what Carnivore is, so be quiet; grown-ups are talking. look, people, there is no huge, elaborate, underground computer project that monitors the entire Internet. it just doesn't work that way. i was talking to an Intel Analyst for the FBI a couple days ago and he was telling me that the FBI is looking for people like me because i told him everything i know about how the FBI collects intel for things involving computers. too bad i probably can't get my security clearance reinstated, i'd work for the FBI. anyway, he was saying that the conspiracy theorists like this Pearnbran guy crack him up and i agree, it's pretty funny what people will believe. i blame Hollywood. you can't just magically get whatever you want from the Internet. there is no button you push that says "collect data on assassination threats" or "monitor Al Quieda traffic". the only way the FBI is going to see this is if someone tells them about it. then, if they care enough, they will obtain a warrant. then, they ask Bart if he can match an IP address to the username. they then trace that IP back to an ISP and go to the ISP and show the warrant and take a regular computer loaded with sniffer software and monitor traffic from the IP address of the suspect. that's Carnivore. there's the big secret.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-07-30 02:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The plan! You ruined the plan! You bastard!
Submitted by Pearnbran (user info) at 2004-07-30 01:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the carnivore program looks for crap like this so be ready dumb ass
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-07-29 23:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a shit?
Kill yourself first.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-29 23:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone already said something like this, and this person did indeed get in trouble. Granted, they couldn't do much to him because he's Canadian, but the FBI contacted the pussy Canadian Secret Service, and they scolded him.
So, yes, they will see this, and you will get in shit for it.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-07-29 23:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd leave it to Snuggles. See you in about 45 to life.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-07-29 22:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your all idiots. nothing is going to happen to him.
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-29 22:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How much you want to bet this is his last post?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-07-29 22:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It is my fervent hope that the Secret Service sees this and becomes convinced that there is a terrorist living in your asshole.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-07-29 22:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got balls man... but I'm almost positive this is the limit...
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-07-29 22:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats a really dumb thing to say
soon as this hits Google they're gonna open up a file on you
Submitted by ATTNGHEYMENZ (user info) at 2004-07-29 22:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHEREZ AGNET SMITH WEN U NEEDZ HIM???
Submitted by fag <ifuckchickens.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-29 21:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe this will trigger that long awaited race war.
Submitted by maggot (user info) at 2004-07-29 21:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol cant you get arrested just for talking about htat
Submitted by LnkLbrl120 (user info) at 2004-07-29 20:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you don't do anything illegal on your connection because well, they're watching ...
Submitted by Just_me_and_the_cats (user info) at 2004-07-29 20:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually the NSA will probably be directing the local cops to kick down your door right about now...
Submitted by camor (user info) at 2004-07-29 20:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-29 20:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am only a patsy
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-07-29 20:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't kill the leader, the leader is great, the leader is good!!!