Whore-o-Scopes (1318 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.92 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Falco (View user info) at 2004-07-30 08:24:26 EDT
(0021, 31/07/04 It's a new day kiddies)
I present to you,
__________________________WHORE-o-SCOPES_____________________________
-Aquarius
You will be brutally gang raped today, you will love it you dirty cum
guzzling slore
-Pisces
Your ex will become increasingly more jealous with your current lover
and offer you sex on command, they will retract the offer when (s)he discovers
you forgot how to shower.
-Aries
Your carnal desires this week will be fulfilled by a piece of plastic you
have named Max Power, however due to lack of batteries you will find it more
anti-climatic than having sex with Bart Cilfone.
-Taurus
You horny bastard, this week you will visit Madame Toulays massage parlour
more than usual. The masseuse will steal your credit card and use it to buy
things from "analpleasures.net." Your wife will not be impressed when the statement
arrives and move into the garden shed with Steve the prize gnome.
-Gemini
You will find love in a graveyard. Wal-Mart has a special on perfumes and
air freshner this week, you should check it out. Its not illegal unless
someone finds out.
-Cancer
That lump on your genitalia is actually a cancerous crab infested herpy. Go to
the Doctors post haste.
-Leo
You will become sore after a encounter with a ravenous beast, pity he missed
and got the wrong hole. Consult a Proctologist.
-Virgo
You will get none as per normal.
-Libra
Despite being on the rag you will get drunk at a frat party and some random jock
will earn his redwings. You will wake up with an odd shape of lipstick.
-Scorpio
You will become angry that your partner is too sexually dominant and bite his
head off Lorena Bobbit style.
-Sagittarius
Go to the chemist and buy lots of painkillers. You will be severely donkey punched
by a guy named Wolfgang.
-Capricorn
Whilst roaming the road less travelled you will hit the jackpot and find undigested corn.
User Reviews
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-07-30 15:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet, I'm an Aquarius.. wait.. that isn't good
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sex post friday w00000t!!
i am sagitarius
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm a grave-goer eh? and i thought i was being stealthy....
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh. Ok.
Submitted by lojopeener (user info) at 2004-07-30 12:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh i've had one of those
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-07-30 11:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lojo,
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=DonkeyPunch&r=f
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-30 11:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is Donkey Punched?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-03-05 09:52:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Virgo's are the smartest and sexiest human beings on the planet and its not by accident"
***********
Indeed, Indeed
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give you a +2 and link to my ZONE-O-SCOPE Post, which i thought was funny.
Will
Your Horoscope. A.K.A Your Zone-O-Scope (snicker, snicker. guffaw, guffaw.)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25946
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, I was hoping a whore-o-scope would be like a periscope, but a device which was particularly adept and locating whores.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-Aquarius
You will be brutally gang raped today, you will love it you dirty cum
guzzling slore
================
FINALLY, the hot nut-busting sex i was hoping for.
The day is mine!!!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-Aquarius
You will be brutally gang raped today, you will love it you dirty cum
guzzling slore
Hmmm.
Yep, sounds about right?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DlESEL (user info) at 2004-07-30 09:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god damn steve the gnome
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jillian, b@w = Bored At Work, Bart's other masterpiece of online outlet.
The link is on the front page
Good post.
Submitted by Jillian (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am an taurus and collect nomes! what is the b@w?
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was fucking hilarious
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, im a virgo.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it.
And the virgo one was f'in spot on... are you psychic?
Submitted by Epitome (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 B/C i laughed my ass off at Aries (sorry Bart)
-1 B/C you called me a cum guzzling slore
+1 B/C off redwings and odd shade of lipstick again I laughed like a loon
Submitted by ambrosiablue (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn Falco! I gotta replace my batteries!
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-Capricorn
Whilst roaming the road less travelled you will hit the jackpot and find undigested corn.
GOLD
Espo
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ofcourse you did, this is infact the best post ever.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-30 08:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed.