Scavengers! (530 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LacyFace16<lacyface16.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-30 10:00:54 EDT
What is it about free food in the workplace? It never fails, everyday someone in my office complains that they are overweight and "this place" is making them fat. I work at an ad agency so our station reps bring in free food about 3 times a week. Usually it's dunkin donuts or krispy kreme's and other times it's bagels and pastries.
Today is no different, except that we have 3 station reps coming in today....wires were crossed somehow so we're getting overloaded with carbs and sugar. One was here bright and early at 8:30 am with bagels, fluffy cream cheese, various pastries and FRUIT (for the health conscious types). Oh, and orange juice. I can't even begin to tell you how fast that went with the scavengers around here. You even mention "the media department has breakfast" and other departments start sneaking by. I mean, people I never see, even when I'm roaming the hallways to walk to the bathroom or get a soda, start coming over to grab a bite. Unfortunately for that rep, another rep showed up about 10 minutes later with gourmet bagels and cream cheese. And now, I just got word that one of my reps came in with bagels as well.
Then I watch as the health nuts who don't eat carbs...walk by my desk with a half eaten bagel smothered in cream cheese hanging out of their mouths. I just have to laugh. I think it's the whole idea that it's free food that makes them devour it so quickly without considering how they're going to feel guilty and then complain later that they're fat and gaining weight from all the food in "this place." Hell, I'm guilty of it. Well, not so much the "i'm fat because of this place" comments but certainly of eating the free food just because it's there and...well..it's FREE. That's the reason I tend not to eat breakfast before work. Why should I bother when someone else is going to feed me? It makes up for my lack in pay!
I think people tend to be this way with everything. If someone is offering a free gift and you don't like it, in most cases you will take it anyway because you didn't have to pay for it. The smart people take that gift and try to sell it to make a buck. Afterall, isn't that what it's all about: how to make a buck? Seems that way.
I'm off to eat my strawberries and pineapples...and my half of the apple pastry sitting on my desk. The girls in the office like to split the pastries so we don't feel so bad about adding 5 lbs on our hips!
Makes sense, right?!?
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-30 22:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed your story and I enjoyed your last story too (very romantic). I have a quick question about your last story though, did you date reallybored before or was that just someone playing a joke:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/34113
Submitted by reallybored at 2004-06-18 12:19:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow that new boyfriend must have made you cum. You just had your first orgasm. I know when we were going out I told you that orgasms were just a myth, but I guess you figured it out. I still have never given a girl an orgasm, maybe it's because my dick is too small, maybe because I nut in 6 seconds, or maybe becuase I'm a fucking fag that can't get excited enough to be with a woman because I'm too busy showing my ass to everyone on Ubersite and fucking my frat brothers in the ass. So what if I'm gay. I love man ass!!!!!!!
reallybored
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-07-30 16:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck eating the free food...
Can I eat you?
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-30 14:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-07-30 11:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i want free food.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fat asses huungry hippo's should be shot dead before they have the chance to rear fat assed snot faced bastard kids.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dategrape,
a little harsh but...agreed.
carbs are not bad unless you sit on your ass and do NOTHING. but if you work out you use carbs. it's another fad that people will start suing for in the near future...but that's another story.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't mean the spelling, I mean people who use that abbreviation are yuppy, fat faggots who don't understand why they can't lose weight even though they don't eat bread.
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
here's for the picky ones....carbohydrates.
carbs was much easier to type and saved me some time, but to please YOU dategrape I spelled it out for you.
:)
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gluttony?
It's so true, so have a two.
Same thing happens here.
"I just can't stop myself"
"But i'm starving".....
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What is it about people who use the abbreviation word 'carbs'. If more fatasses ate more bread there would be less fatasses and less bread. If you ate NOTHING except bread, rice, fruit and vegetables you would NOT be a fat fuck. Not only that, but it takes several pounds of grain to feed a cow to produce just one pound of meat. Think about that next time you are eating a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, for that same price you could have eaten a quarter pound of wheat and given the rest of the pound to a starving African baby.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-30 10:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So true!
This just inspired me to write something.