Because The Future Is Uber - Part IV (1085 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gamma (View user info) at 2004-07-30 13:24:03 EDT
At 12:45, each member of the team was gathered in Hidden101's room. The troops made their way to the captain's deck to meet Bart. Upon arrival, Bart was getting his feet massaged by munkeypants, and his shoulders rubbed by Lojope.
"Good to see you are all on time. Nerfherder, what's our position?"
"We're hovering at 100 kilometers over the planet sir", replied the pilot.
"Very well. See to it that their transportation to the planet is ready."
Nerferder turns to his co-pilot and says: "Burn, fire up the shuttle, and be prepared to take off in 10 minutes."
The co-pilot nodded in silence and scurried off to prepare the vessel.
Bart turned towards the team of six and said: "As you all know, you are going to analyze the situation on this planet. You will not be going alone. You have been assigned a medic by the name of LadyPlural, a little blue Smurf, and an Automaton Nuclear Neo-Human Android. The latter was salvaged from earth and is equipped with drills and various sharp objects that you may need. We call him WillZone."
"Beep Beep. My name is WillZone. Beeeeeeeeeeep."
"La laaa la la laa laaaa, laaa la la la la", sang the Smurf with a large smile on his face.
Shark25 winked at LadyPlural then shot her a sexy look that would make any straight woman glaze her seat. She blushed and looked away.
Burn came running back and exclaimed: "The shuttle is ready for take-off!"
"Get your equipment and follow Burn. He will be taking you onto the planet's ground", ordered Bart.
The group walked over to the table and each took a gun, earpiece, a radio transmitter, and a backpack. AlahAckbar picked up the Smurf and put him into his back pocket. The Smurf turned green and screamed: "What the hell have you been eating man?"
"Sorry", apologized AlahAckbar as he took out the Smurf and inserted him into his front shirt pocket.
"That's better. Ooooh, I see you did get that boob job in the military."
Burn lead the crew into a small ship. Each person took a seat and waited patiently. The pilot skilfully guided the ship into a smooth landing.
"Good luck guys", said Burn.
The crew got off the ship, and stepped onto a grass field. Afar, they could see a beautiful lake surrounded by brown hills.
The sky on this planet was a strange shade of orange. The ship that had escorted them became airborne and returned to the mother ship.
"Hello, this is Bart. Can you all hear me through your radios?"
"Yeah", replied everyone in unison.
"Good. Your first task is to verify the quality of the water on the planet. Head towards the lake and report back to me once you reach it."
The troops began to make their way towards the lake. Five minutes into the trek, the Smurf started singing his song again.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" screamed Method after an hour.
"But I always sing my song whenever I'm travelling. It's one of the Smurf laws", replied the Smurf.
"If you don't stop, I'll impale you with my thumb nail, then I'll eat you", menaced Matt Maiorano.
The Smurf immediately stopped singing, buried himself deeper in AlahAckbar's pocket, and rested his head on AlahAckbar's supple breast.
Another hour passed before they finally reached the lake.
Hidden101 radioed Bart to give him an update on the location.
"Very well, in your backpack, you will find a device to evaluate the water. It will give you pH levels, as well as identify any toxins in the water that could be potentially harmful to us."
Hidden101 looked in his backpack and found the device Bart was speaking of. He approached the water and filled the machine's reservoir. The LCD displayed a pH of 7, followed by the line: "No toxins detected in the water. Safe for human consumption."
After Hidden101 announced the results to the others, the crew immediately put down their bags and jumped into the water.
"Ah, nothing like a swim after a two hour walk!" exclaimed AlwaysAnEagle.
"Beep Beep. Robots do not like water." stated WillZone as he watched from the sand.
The Smurf sat along the shoreline, being that if he went in any farther, the water would soon be too deep for him.
"Hey. Where did Shark25 go?" asked AlahAckbar.
"Help! I'm drowning!"
"What the hell? With a name like Shark25, you would think he'd be able to keep himself from drowning", said Method.
AlahAckbar swam over to save the flailing Shark25. He pulled the man onto the sand. Shark25's eyes were closed, and he was not breathing.
"Out of the way!" screamed LadyPlural as she ran over.
The medic leaned over the man and examined him. She approached her lips to his to administer mouth to mouth, when suddenly, Shark25's right hand came alive and wrapped itself around her shoulders. His left hand reached for a firm grasp on LadyPlural's buttocks. He pulled her in closer and kissed her.
"Haha!" exclaimed Shark25.
LadyPlural pulled away and screamed: "You son of a..."
Before she could finish, a dark shadow engulfed the two.
User Reviews
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-02 23:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-08-01 18:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How in the hell did I miss this series?
+2 for making me wicked badass.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-31 20:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:06:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, why am I never in these?
Alah got in before me?
For shame, for shame.
We were like THIS man, and now we're like this.
That doesn't really work on the intarweb.
-----------------------------------------------------
OLAS: You're in a few of them! The second and the third I think.
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-07-31 16:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd love to be in one of these types of posts. Maybe I'm still too new. However, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, a few people like me. But I'd still read em' even if I were never in one.
F.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, why am I never in these?
Alah got in before me?
For shame, for shame.
We were like THIS man, and now we're like this.
That doesn't really work on the intarweb.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-31 10:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-30 19:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lojo's sex related acts tally:
1) Ass smack from Fetish
2) Hot tubbing with Bart
3) Pity sex for Shark25
4) Shoulder massage for Bart
Awesomeness. Keep 'em coming.
PS~ If you wanted to give me a USEFUL part somewhere down the line that would be cool. But being the Uberslut is ok too. :o)
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 19:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, pretend that these are my boobs. http://www.ubersite.com/m/40084
NSFW, and actually worth viewing. They are nice boobs. And it isn't even my post.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 19:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just don't want to take that chance. You understand, right? *flutters eyelashes and heaves bosom in gamma's general direction*
Ok, I'm going now. Have fun.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 19:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha, you'd be surprised :P
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 19:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I know... I've been trying to get rid of those, but it just hasn't been working very well.
Plus, I certainly don't expect you to be able to type another good installment in one weekend with only one hand.
What?
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
good to see you have morals :)
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I appreciate being in the series, but unless I suddenly get thrown into the lead role, I don't appreciate it quite that much.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe if you show me your boobies I'll be more motivated :P jk
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, alright. *grumbles*
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe, I'll see if I have time to write this weekend. No promises though!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This weekend? MORE! I demand more!
The only question is, more of this series, or more of Shark25's hands on my ass?
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LadyPlural: I'll keep that in mind. Sometime over the weekend I'll think of what's gonna happen next.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LadyPlural <3
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:23:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the worst serial I've ever read on this site.
I couldn't stand back any more.
This -2 os for the whole series. Please stop.
=========================================================
If you don't like the "serial" don't read it. Whether I continue this series or not should be irrelevant to you.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just a suggestion, but Wiki could have stowed away on the lander ship, slipped off, and, because she was hanging back from the exploration team (and therefore whatever the big scary thing is/was doesn't get her), suddenly becomes helpful in some way. That was a very disjointed sentence, but I think that my overall point was still understandable.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the worst serial I've ever read on this site.
I couldn't stand back any more.
This -2 os for the whole series. Please stop.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Degreeless: I'd admit it if I did, but I didn't :/
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:/
I dunno how to work you into a part of the story that's taking place on a planet that you're not on.
******
I was thinking you could have just shoved me down Method's pants..
or something.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-07-30 18:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gamma, I love you (but Shark, you obviously turn me on, so it's all OK). Thank you SO much for including me in this- I just startled most of the second floor of the library by laughing hysterically and falling out of my chair. I actually did.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-07-30 17:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, just admit it. You stole this idea from my post.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/39048
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-30 17:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 17:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha. Man, I <3 you guys (by guys read girls).
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-07-30 16:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Burn, you're the co-pilot. And don't forget who gives the orders here, boy-o.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-30 16:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kick ass as always i especially like alah ackbars supple breasts and the fact that
shark is a slut
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-07-30 16:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY I'm a pilot :D
Again another great addition to the series..
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-07-30 15:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
agree.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 14:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-30 14:15:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm... someone (ME) is missing..
It's all good, though.
+2 because you're awesome.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
:/
I dunno how to work you into a part of the story that's taking place on a planet that you're not on.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-30 14:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm... someone (ME) is missing..
It's all good, though.
+2 because you're awesome.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-30 14:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still don't see me...
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"ACKBAR! Get your mammoth breasts out of the way of the sun! It's cold in the shadow!" Shark25 yelled.
"Oops... My bad..." Alahackbar.
This story was Ironic, because not only was I in the army, AND not only to I have severe gas today, but I was also a lifeguard.....
GAMMA GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:31:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's funny that their names are their names on ubersite and are addressed as such. What if someone's name was 'w4ovnernac,mnre'?
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My guess is that he'd be a moron, so I'd just have AlahAckbar kick his ass with his peener shaped baton, and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe, I forgot to state that I got the robot idea from http://www.ubersite.com/m/37248
I also forgot to post the links to the first 3 parts.
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39530
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39626
Part 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39787
=================================================
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's funny that their names are their names on ubersite and are addressed as such. What if someone's name was 'w4ovnernac,mnre'?
Submitted by UniBrowZIT (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yea Robots!
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shark25 winked at LadyPlural then shot her a sexy look that would make any straight woman glaze her seat"
gold.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope I'm the shadow and I end up having a three way.