Jahova's witnesses don't need to see your boxers. (815 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.43 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by antiLemming (View user info) at 2004-07-30 20:37:45 EDT
I just had to answer the door for some Jehovah's pretending not to be overly religious. I almost answered in the boxers I was wearing, but decided pants might be a good option. I initially found it awkward, the man's gentle stutter and mild German accent putting me on edge as I often feel rude asking people to repeat themselves a lot.
The first booklet he showed me was about stopping fraud. He claimed a friend of his lost several hundred thousand dollars to a Nigerian scam. In this book, he told me, were ways to stop such fraud taking advantage of us. My mind replied, "I have a perfect method. It involves not being old and senile."
Then came the "Watchtower" booklet, with Jahovah's name printed in bold text underneath the title. "Great, religious nuts after all" says my brain. He began talking of how this booklet will tell me how in their religion, one government will some day rule the world. "OK, so you're not so obsessed with the afterlife, you're just idly contemplating faithfully and accurately reconstructing the Third Reich?", interjects my sleep-deprived mind as I become aware that I hadn't done my belt up and my pants are beginning to fall down.
At about this point my friend Leigh, who was asleep in my room, decides to make rather audible requests that I return to bed. I also believe he called me "honey". The Jahova's witnesses didn't pay attention to this, for which I was glad. They did, however, seem to notice Leigh walk out of my room clad only in his underwear, and perform a small jig in the hallway. I was finding it all rather amusing, you know, dancing in your underpants... heh.
That's when this man told me he grew up as a little boy in World War 2, and came to this country only a year older than I am today. He said how awful it was that so many people were killing each other in the name of different Gods, and that he never wanted to see the ugly, awful site of war again. Right about then I felt so small and pathetic I just wanted to go back to bed and bury my head under my pillow and pretend there wasn't a world outside.
He then handed me another booklet but I wasn't paying attention. This man told me he didn't want my money, my membership or for me to pray. He just asked that I read these books, and to be careful in this world. I feel small.
User Reviews
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-07-31 04:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am a strong believer in "if your religion is so great why do you find the need to peddle
it door to door".
Submitted by Winston (user info) at 2004-07-31 03:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's what they are hired to do. They know by getting you to read that book once, you might convert. That chance is better than them telling you to give them money, join their club, or pray.
They don't have to care, they just need to put on the show that they do.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-07-31 02:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"This man told me he didn't want my money, my membership or for me to pray. He just asked that I read these books, and to be careful in this world."
That's the way people are when they're trying to convert you to their beliefs. This man honestly cares about you. He doesn't just want you to join his organization. He believes in something, and he believes that you have to believe in it as well, or you might suffer an eternity in hell. Mormons are the same. In fact, all Christians are. The Christians who view the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses as "cults" have the same methods of converting you. It's mostly Christians, I suppose. I've never heard of an atheist or Muslim going door-to-door, but anything's possible.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-07-30 22:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't really appreciate it when people come and try to convert me.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-07-30 21:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not sure if you are being anti-jw or not, but they get a way harder time than they deserve.
Submitted by CDizzle (user info) at 2004-07-30 21:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/20211
works for jehovahs witness' too
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-07-30 21:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I usually answer the door with a strap on and a leather mask. They tend not to come back.