Dear Journal: I love my new friend Ross (1487 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.37 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by insanethemind (View user info) at 2004-07-30 22:56:23 EDT
May 1, 04
Dear Journal,
Today I went to the gym with a new friend, his name is Ross. He was hanging out with my brother for a while there, but then he found out my brother was gay and told me "I just couldn't handle that fag, Michael, you seem much more interesting."
Golly, he called ME interesting! That must mean he likes me. I sure hope so, I need more friends, actually ONE friend would be nice.
My birthday is in two days, on the third, dear journal.
May 2, 04
Dear Journal,
Today I went to the lake with my new pal Ross, that's two days in a row we've hung out. Cool.
My birthday is tomorrow. I told Ross and he said "well are we going to be alone, just the two of us?"
I told him yes, yes if that's what he wanted we would. Little did he know, I didn't have any plans anyway except for watching the Star Trek series on vhs... well actually I only have 1-7, minus the Search for Spock:I spilled some punch on that episode a few months back.
He asked me if we could "get very drunk and roll around on the lawn in our skivvies?"
I had no idea what skivvies were, but I figured it was just some Canadian term for grass. I told him I didn't have a problem with it.
He said "I'm in. Your ass."
That sounded a little funny to me, but hey, maybe that's just the way they talk in his part of the world? My birthday is tomorrow, woo!
Mood: excited! I think I'll treat myself to a fried banana and mayonaise sandwich
May 3, 2004
Dear Journal,
Guess what? No, not chicken butt silly, it's my birthday! I'm 22 years old today, woo! Maybe I'll get to lose my virginity soon, I remember when I was a teen I would surely have fucked someone who was 22 so maybe my 'older age' will work as a gimmick. I've seen lots of my friends do it. Well maybe they were sitcom stars but still.
Ross, Ahem, I mean SUBLIME rode over on the bus today, boy did he look happy to see me! He had a funny explanation for that too, he had JUST SEEN a naked girl running around the block. He said that she was spreading her legs as she ran, and moaning his own name! No WONDER he had such a huge.. smile.
He told me where he was taking me and BOY was I surprised! The Ritz! Wow, what class he was really wanting to show me a good time.
In the cab on the way to dinner at the Ritz, he was so happy about our plans and friendship that he went to give me a high- five and MISSED! Hit me right in the sweetspot, luckily I had forgotten to untuck my scrote from between my legs after my fun game of 'pretend like im a girl in the mirror nude' that I played before he came over. I walked into the Ritz feeling like a machoman-chick magnet, but Sublime told me that he'd prefer a Liberace. What did that mean anyway? He knows I'm not Italian.
We sat down at our table and Sublime ordered us some beer. I mean come on, I'm 22 now dear journal, why not?
Then he really sealed the night up as a winner. He peered at me from across his beer and said:
User Reviews
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-09-30 23:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hell yeah shandy hes a back door beauty, a shower rose even
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-20 21:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he's been found, the search was called off.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-18 16:44:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOOOOOO?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-18 16:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOOOOOO?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-08-13 05:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goodness me!
wha a trat this was!
whose' this sublime?
does he
does he
des he
does he
well, yu know what i mean??
does he?
winky wanky woo?
back door beauty?????/
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-08-11 16:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be your friend
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-09 21:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he most certainly does.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-07 13:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, my new best friend SUBLIME loves them, so I eat them to look cool in his eyes.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-08-07 13:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaa....
Wait... fried banana and mayonaisse sandwich? Please tell me you don't actually eat anything like that....
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-07 13:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is about me!
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-08-07 13:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-08-07 13:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahh.. I didn't rate this.
Here's the +2 you deserve.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-07 13:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is funny.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-07 12:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks lone. I was going for something very close to that.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-07 00:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You played the "I'm a dumb blond homosexual from West Hollywood" to the MOTHERUCKIN T!! WOOOO!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-06 23:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks carolina.
i've missed you, by the way!
Submitted by mujer_alterada (user info) at 2004-08-06 21:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm confused. But still, this is very nice (funny). I love you Urso.
Carolina
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-06 21:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GoddAMN! that "Rungler" seems to have something stuck up his filthy arse-crack: perhaps the nose of apollo88, who knows.
+ learn how to rate before you give me meaningless twos from now on, ok Einstein?
This post was worth at LEAST a -1 and no better than a +2. I'll go with a +1 in kingly fairness.
Recognize, grasshopper
let me know when you are prepared to become my understudy. Eamil me for info
Submitted by Rungler (user info) at 2004-08-06 20:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-06 20:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
seems you been slackin, my nigga fo shizzle
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-08-06 04:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And how precisely did I miss this gem?
Geniarse.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-08-04 07:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-03 01:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are a fucking dimwit then, vaginaravager?
Submitted by VaginaRavager (user info) at 2004-08-02 18:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you sound like a fagget to me
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear me, now I'm all hot and bothered!
hahaha
wheeeeeeeeeeeeee
Right. By that I mean "funny post."
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
funny mental picture, him fisting your ass!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Q, back the fuck off man, SUBLIME is MY friend. Not your's, MINE! Got it?!?!?!!?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to tell you this,
but Sublime fisted my ass last night, and touched me in places where no man ever has.
In my uvula.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
umm.......................................................
-Black Ninja
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BACK OFF HE'S MINE.
And by that I mean.
Yes?
Hat?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sublime's givin' me the ole bedroom eyes in that picture
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-07-31 12:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like an Uber Love Connection!
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-07-31 03:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Did I miss something?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-31 02:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no i dont know that he mentioned that phinch. i wouldn't be surprised though, he's quite the inventive guy.
i could see him running a fashion empire actually
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-07-31 00:47:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!
Did sublime tell you he was an ladies underware designer?
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yar
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAaaaa!!!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sublime! OMG, I never thought you'd read this! Umm, please don't be mad, I didn't tell them about what happened in the room!
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fetish if you were a dinosaur you'd be a fagasaurus rex
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus two for the hardest working man on ubersite.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:06:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
<just smiling and nodding cuz she don't know what the fuck is going on>
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-07-30 23:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-30 22:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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