Hey douche (562 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.4 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rixes (View user info) at 2004-07-31 03:07:44 EDT
I was written up at work today for calling someone a douche, apparently it's "harassment". Anyway I was wondering, you know those competive eating competitions? The little vietcong guy always wins, it's either Takeru Kobayashi, Kazutoyo Arai or Hirofumi Nakajima, I have no idea which because they all look the same. So I was wondering, what kind of time does this guys spend in the shitter right after he competes. He ate like 40 or 50 hotdogs, he must have to flush like 50 times over the course of dropping his logs.
So if anyone has any information in regards to small japanese men's bowel movement's after they have been in eating competitions, please contact me. I'm writing a book and this will be the 2nd chapter, I'll put it right after I explain the meaning of life. This is no joke, I am seriously in need of this information. I'm writing the whole book while I am under the influence of marijauna. I'll write a chapter everytime I smoke, so it's likely that I'll end up with several thousand chapters. Now I only see two possible outcomes, A. I sit and write a chapter everytime I smoke, after a week, smoke, read the stuff I wrote and realize I'm a genius. Or B. I don't end up writing anything down at all like the lazy fucker I am.
So you see, its WIN-WIN.
Anyway, the point of the book is to record the amazing "realizations" you come to when your high, and either listen to them sober and laugh your ass off at how ridiculous they are, or get high and listen to them and become a hippy.
Again WIN-WIN
I'm still shopping around for a publisher so if any can recommend a good one let me know.
User Reviews
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-31 19:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You have a manscat fetish...
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-07-31 14:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAh!
This is so random
For some reason I thought of that Simpson's quote that goes something like "It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever".
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-07-31 08:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He probably went and threw it all back up again.
"so it's likely that I'll end up with several thousand chapters."
Or none at all. Heh.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-07-31 03:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I asked a little Japanese guy what his shit was like after he ate so much.
He directed me to this post.
It was so horrible that I shit my own pants.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-07-31 03:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Devote a chapter to me, and how fucked up I am.