Dumpster the stoner cat! (803 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.84 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EmptyRobot (View user info) at 2004-07-31 14:50:36 EDT
Dumpster is the name of my cat. He was named dumpster for the sole fact that he was a fun junkie. Like a dumpster of fun get it. He was the most active cat that you have ever seen. He liked the trampoline, he liked the beach, he even liked playing with GI-JOEs! But as time went on I played with him less and less. Whenever I would do something he would be right there with me. So one day a friend of mine asks me to try pot. And I did. And so did Dumpster.
We became stoners on that day. And so it continued for 4 long years. Whenever the garage door would open, here comes dumpster ready to smoke up. What I would do was I would stand him in a chair directly across from me and when ever I would hit the piece I would just blow the smoke at the cat. Everytime I smoked for 4 years that cat was there too. And he loved every minute of it.
But 3 months ago I decided I was too old for this and quit smoking pot. My cat seemed to be going through withdrawl because he would spaz out from time to time and hump my buddah statue even though he has no balls. Aye but back to my story. Two days ago I took dumpster to the vet and had him checked out. The doctor said he was fine. I was relieved and came home. Just because he was such a healthy kitty I decided I wanted to treat Dumpster. So I scored some dope for the cat and some JD and porno for me and headed for the garage. That was the coolest party ever.
I smoked the cat out of his gourd and then decided to join the fun with my friends Jack and porn. Yesterday dumpster slept and took a massive shit, and when he walked he seemed to have had a hangover. He slept in the garage last night, something he hadnt done since I got him. When I woke up this morning dumpster the stoner cat was dead. I dug a 4 foot grave by the tree in my backyard. I threw in Dumpster and his favorite peace and played amazing grace on the acoustic. Dumpster will be missed. This ones for you good buddy!
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-01 02:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, I just got the joke:
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Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:34:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
My two cats, Cleaveland and Steamer, enjoy to toke up with me too. The ending made me want to cry like a pussy though.
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Might as well name them Dirty and Sanchez.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-01 02:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A sad and compelling look at the relatiosnhip between a man and his cat, and the substance abuse that they shared.
Here's another story about a stoner cat.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35618
Submitted by Chief_Rugger (user info) at 2004-08-01 02:12:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom's cats think I'm the anti-christ JUST because I exhale sulforous smoke and light crosses on fire by touching them every once and awhile, jeez, kitty racism man.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My two cats, Cleaveland and Steamer, enjoy to toke up with me too. The ending made me want to cry like a pussy though.
Submitted by bean (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I mention that neither of them have boots or mittens?
Submitted by bean (user info) at 2004-08-01 01:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cats are cool. I got two new kittens recently and I love them. They came to us named Boots and Mittens...two of the most original cat names EVAR. Needless to say, we changed their names to much more appropriate ones: Tweak and Vincent.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-07-31 19:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the story...hate cats though (asthma around them).
I heard weiner dogs are flat out evil, BikerRob. Is that doggie-napoleon syndrome?
Jack Russells are bad too. I know one that attacked a great dane. Unwise decision as that dog isn't alive anymore.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-07-31 19:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-07-31 18:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin quality..
R.I.P Dumpster
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-07-31 17:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice story. Sad at the end, but it seems as if he enjoyed his life while it lasted.
Submitted by Lije (user info) at 2004-07-31 17:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahaha, we just had a cat named "Speedbump" come into the clinic today.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-07-31 17:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats awsome.
Submitted by BikerRob (user info) at 2004-07-31 17:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was in high school, a guy I knew had a weiner dog named "Goliath". The name was appropriate, he was a mean little bastard.
An ex of mine has a chihuahua mix that I affectionally called "Cujo".
Submitted by milo (user info) at 2004-07-31 17:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friend's cat's name is "Squirly Little Bastard." It's engraved on his tags and everything.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-07-31 16:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dumpster is a superb name for a cat. I quite like 'Breezeblock' as well.
Submitted by Cindys_Younger_Sister (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
v. funny
Submitted by PurplePeopleEater at 2004-07-31 15:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh heh heh. Dumpster the Stoner Cat. Instant classic. RAAAAASSK!
Speedbump... Fuck, that's awesome!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dumpster is almost as good of a name for a cat as "Speedbump"
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+0 Solid 0.
+1 a cat named dumpster
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-31 15:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My cat is a hardcore stoner.
Whenever I decide it's time to smoke, he sits outside my window and yowls.
I open the window, pull him inside, and spark up.
But, I quit smoking.
Doo-Dah.
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2004-07-31 14:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for kitty picture.