Regrets and such... (754 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.69 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vanilla (View user info) at 2004-08-01 04:05:20 EDT
The other day, someone at work asked me something. They asked me if I feel like I've grown up too quickly. I looked at them and smiled. That's the same question that I've been asking myself for a while now. Have I grown up too fast? Yes. I have.
That question was followed by "Do you regret it?"
Now... lets just start with a background check. My mother is Russian, my father is Serbian-Macedonian. I travelled all through out Europe, spoke 3 languages and played advanced piano by the time I was 7.
In the winter, I'd live in Russia to go to school and whatnot, during the summer, we'd travel to Macedonia, and Montenegro where we have a huge house, that was being built at the time to be a hotel. So it's pretty huge.
Montenegro is my ultimate paradise, my haven. Now, just so you know, Montenegro is on the Adriatic coast, about two hours off the coast of Italy, near Croatia and Bosnia. When I was about 5, I remember standing on the patio, playing... Suddenly, gunshots were fired in the distance and my father ran out of the house, grabbed me and pulled me inside. That same night, he woke everyone up at 3am and we had to flea over the border because war had broken out.
I'm 17 years old, I live in New Zealand. I still remember that day, I still remember when we went back there about 4 years ago walking down to the beach past a schoolhouse. The schoolhouse was a bright yellow 2 storey building the last time I saw it when I was 5. When I walked past it again 4 years ago, the windows were broken, the paint was chipped and the walls were covered in bullet holes. When it comes to thinking about difficult situations, and not being able to find a resolution for them, I think about that building. Fuck knows why. Maybe because to me, that building represents innocence lost, destroyed... I don't know. It's just affected me because it makes me remember what it was like. And it makes me think about how different my life would be had we not left there.
I'm going to university next year, I'm still at school now and I have a part time job at a high-class fashion store. I've been working there since I was 15. Now I pretty much manage the fucking place because the managers are incompetent assholes. When people meet me and find out my age, it's beyond shock. But do I regret growing up quickly? No.
I always manage to forget about how good my life has been and how amazing some of the things I've been able to do are. Sometimes when I start thinking about how life could have been I get so absorbed and so depressed because maybe it could have been better. But I always fail to remember that there is no way that what I've been through could get any better. I've grown up quickly in the best possible circumstances.
Regretting growing up like this would make me selfish because I understand the opportunities that were given to me that other people can only dream off. I've taken advantage of everything that was ever offered to me and I've grown up in more ways than I can describe. I've skipped most of the teen angst years where people my age would be experimenting with drugs, drink and sex. I've never had drugs, but I go clubbing, I go drinking, I've had boyfriends. I've just done it differently.
Can I regret it? Yeah I can, I can also resent my life. But I'm not that selfish. I'm not happy, but I'm grateful.
User Reviews
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My opinion, you retard, is precisely as valid as everyone elses here, which is why my opinion is rated exactly the same as everyone elses. If you write what you consider to be a decent post but can't hack any criticism, then don't fucking post, you chump. I'm off now to get obliterated.
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-08-02 02:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gibberish - yeah i agree with you. Karma has kicked my ass so many times before, but if someone pisses me off to the point where I actually do something about it, then you can assume that they REALLY fucked me off.
This post wasnt about me talking about whats bringing me down, because I don't think like that. That part of my life is really important to me, and it's a stepping stone for what I can and will do.
Meh, maybe it is dogshit, but no one forced you to read this. I don't even remember your user name, clearly, your opinion good sir... is infact, far shittier than any post I could write. Eat shit asshole.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-01 16:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-01 14:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I regret having a conscience. I've always been too good to people who didn't deserve it. I should have gotten revenge against the people who've hurt me but I never did and it's something that still bothers me. Maybe I always had the whole Karma idea in my head; keep doing good and it will come back to you, turn the other cheek, etc. The only thing that ever happened was me getting hurt again.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2004-08-01 13:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I regret reading this dogshit.
Submitted by Duke_Prometheus_III (user info) at 2004-08-01 13:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I regret reading this dogshit.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-01 12:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No point in regretting anything.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-08-01 11:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can pine away for things that never were, but it will only drag you into a pit of negativity. Things happen to everyone that are beyond their control, making the best of what you're given in the key to success. It is a shame that what has happened to you, happened. Rising above it has made you who you are and will give you strength to continue to rise above the petty crap that drags people down. Still though, I wouldn't beat myself up too badly over the occasional 3 am moments of despair if I were you.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-08-01 08:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit when I was three I discovered the theory of relativity. Kids these days all think they're growing up too fast.
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-01 08:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written.
I should probably stop being lazy and do some proper writing myself.
-Spookster
Submitted by lojopeener (user info) at 2004-08-01 05:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thas girl sucked ma cock, but i lyks her stories
Submitted by Vanilla (user info) at 2004-08-01 05:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, I danno. Personally, I don't think life really has a meaning unless you make one. And I don't think that everyone was put here for a reason... the only people that think they are, are the ones that want to do something with their lives and the ones who actually want to make a mark.
Oh and that schoolhouse isn't used anymore. It was closed down with the outbreak of war. Now it's just a really old building that used to be really beautiful next to a basketball court and a dumpster where the locals take out their trash. Tragic, huh?
Erm... yeah, dam that one hour slot between 3 and 4 am where theres no processed food to consume... dam it to hell.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-08-01 05:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We were all put here for a reason...Yea, I'll -2 that bullshit, but this post was ok.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-08-01 04:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
taco bell closes at 3 and mc donalds opens at 4 which means i have nothing to eat between 3 and 4 in the morning
if only the coney would be 24 hour
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-08-01 04:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So ummm. you wanna you know like err do it? hehehehehehe
Submitted by imsogravy (user info) at 2004-08-01 04:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree completely with Bob. If you keep returning to the image of the school, there must be a reason for it. Perhaps fixing the one image that seems to haunt you will help. And even if not, it will be good for the children who have to spend their time in the school.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-08-01 04:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good advice Bob, I should be doing that myself..
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-01 04:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps you could restore your youth and innocence by fixing up the school?
Just a thought...we were all put here for a reason, and if you feel that selling clothes isn't your reason, then you have to get busy with what you feel you need to be doing.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-08-01 04:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I shouldnt have touched your boob's, i appologise.