Garage Sale Games (732 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.17 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Parlor Trick (View user info) at 2004-08-01 14:35:17 EDT
As a means of entertainment beyond Ubersite, perhaps just on Thursdays, consider...
Garage sales - America's means of disposing of the stuff our relatives won't take for free.
I assume this is a common summer American practice but perhaps it's just a Michigan specific ritual like our deep woods militia parties, not sure.
But for those of you not familiar with the scene...
Garage sales are where you can buy one of a matching set of two wicker wall hangings, a laundry tub of orphaned one-eyed stuffed animals lips sewn shut, partially completed hook-rugs, miss-matched silverware, used and used again malfunctioning kids toys and baby clothes. Atari, Radio Shack, monochrome monitors and dot matrix printers are usually well represented.
The garage sale appeal clearly isn't in the merchandise; it's in the people.
As reliable as the zip lock bags filled with windup McDonald toys, is the teenage girl behind a small black cash box anticipating the next sale.
She is the one who, when you show her the 25 cent masking tape price tag on the Rod Stewart cassette, you say "Do you have change for $14.23....Canadian?"
The old man in flannel on an 80-degree day who hovers in the doorway between the house and garage is the one to ask about the operation of the breast pump being sold with the six lidless baby bottles.
Find the pile of rusted defunct machinery in the far corner labeled "Make offer" point to the biggest most complicated looking thing and say "what kind of lube do you use with that and is it a front or rear thruster?" to the overweight lady on the under pressure folding chair.
All of these generate pretty much the same blank stare expression.
If that's not enough for you, before leaving stop, turn around in the driveway gesture at all the stuff and say "I'll give you $100 for all of this - but I'll need you to keep it in your house until I come back for it."
Don't worry your money is safe.
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-11-04 04:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is POOZ and what did you do to piss him/her off?
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-24 04:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
PISS
Submitted by darko <jbcorba.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-02 04:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
garage sales are always good for novelty items
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooooo I only sell GOOD STUFF at my garage sales.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-08-01 21:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Flint area Herpes (<-- Of all the things my parents taught me I think "Don't tell guys named 'herpes' where you live" was probably in there somewhere.)
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-08-01 16:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-08-01 16:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're from Michigan too?
Where abouts?
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-01 15:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I buy stuff at garage sales, then I break whatever I bought for 25 cents right on the driveway.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-08-01 15:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A bit choppy, but still funny.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-01 15:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Rather poorly written.