Having sex with pudding - Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better. (I'm not wearing a bra) (1035 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Biznochizzle<enlarged.penis.at.a.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-01 23:27:49 EDT
Fucking my mother's home made chocolate pudding was and still is one of the most amazing things this world has to offer me. They say that children have a carnal instinct to have sex with their parents, but I had something different. You see, I knew that that kind of thing would be wrong and detestable, and that people would look down on me, so I just never told anyone about it. Pudding, I thought, was a viable alternative. Here was something that was so intricately connected to my mother both subconcsiously and concsiously that I could not help but remember her anytime I laid eyes on it. And so it all began.
At first I was apprehensive. I was nervous. What if the pudding rejected my advances? I would be crushed if this pudding were to brush me aside in favor of a more flaccid substance. Was my flaccidity not good enough for this damned pudding? There I would be, offering my very essence to that pudding, and that fucking opaque gel would conceivably have the nerve to turn me down!? I was shaken to the core. I considered raping it, but decided that raping was simply unnaceptable, and anyone who would stoop to such lows deserved to be castrated and fed their own testicles on a weiner-spoon.
After several days of eyeing the pudding in the refridgerator, I resolved to make my move. I approached the large, cold box with sweaty palms and ballsack. I took a deep breath and reached for the door, the swung it open quickly and grasped the pudding. As I quickly removed the gelatin from the refridgerator, I slammed the door and took off for the closet; in the short time that I was gone, no one would notice, and the pudding could tell no one! My plan was brilliant.
I placed the pudding on a barstool in the closet, and began slowly removing my clothing, hoping to stimulate the substance to some degree to make insertion more pleasurable. I stroked it gently, feeling it's slightly tense surface and the soft gooey gooeyness underneath...So smooth, so wonderful. Having encountered no signs of resistance from the pudding, I began the deed. Pudding was somewhat cold, having been refridgerated for hours. But I knew I could warm Pudding, could give Pudding what we both wanted.
Pudding was so erotic that within seconds I had blown my steamy load right into its creamy center. Breathing hard, I pulled out and watched VaginaRavager lick off my chocolaty dick. The pudding cried out to me for more--I swear it did--but I knew I could risk having it out of its home no longer. Already someone could be searching for it, seeking a delectable home-made snack, and here I was, fucking it like some horny animal! Stealthily I approached the fridge, holding Pudding behind my back. I quickly replaced Pudding in the same manner in which I had whisked it away initially. I sighed a massive exhalation. I had done it.
Father said that the vanilla streaks made a nice touch.
I am not wearing a bra.
User Reviews
Submitted by GeorgeBaker (user info) at 2004-09-03 20:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jam sucka
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-18 17:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Biznochizzle (user info) at 2004-08-02 12:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:32:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
bullshit take on American pie.
**************
I've never seen American Pie...
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-08-02 03:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How can I not give this a +2?
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2004-08-02 02:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:08:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 for the title
+2 cuz this post was interesting
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wtf?
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:32:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bullshit take on American pie.
Submitted by fag <ifuckchickens.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-02 00:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How can something as beautiful as stinking pile of shite, exist in the same universe as you.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 for the title
+2 cuz this post was interesting
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-08-01 23:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No, thank you.
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-08-01 23:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Reads like a bad shitfuck rip off.