Seas of Blood (625 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.25 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cwl989 (View user info) at 2004-08-02 00:01:52 EDT
Hello, friendly folks at Ubersite. This is going to be my first stab at writing completely fictional stories. A lot of my other posts have been based on real events, but this time I think I'm going to just go wild. No theme yet, just a prelude that might start a series. Let me know what you think, boys and girls.
Jakob was dying. He could feel it, like an overwhelming weight upon his chest, a shadow cast over his mind. The gurgling screams and cries of his comrades echoed faintly in his ears, reminding him of a time not so far past, but irrevocably lost. The explosion of cannons and the screaming whistle of grape shot sounded so real, the cracking of wood and the dull thud of flesh like a morbid symphony playing to his ears.
His eyes saw blue sky and rising smoke, seeing everything yet glazed over with the detachment of his departure from the world of the living. The snapping and creaking of the mainmast registered with him, as did the crackling of the fire, but told him nothing. He was lost in the euphoric seconds before his demise, gazing upon the perfection of the flawlessly white clouds. Like billowing ivory sculptures, they drifted across the azure plain, an unbroken field of indigo. Gulls cried a lonely melody as the wind sifted past his skin.
His mouth tasted the ash of the burning ship and the coppery tang of his own blood. Splinters and burning shrapnel worked themselves into his lungs like virulent parasites, worming into his organs and draining his of his life. The charred remains of the mainsail flapped idly across his legs in the weak breeze, like a warm blanket across him as he drifted into the cold grip of death.
Far from the his mind, men were working madly, trying to keep the ship from flooding and avoiding the aim of the pirates at the same time. Their work was in vain though, as the ship took on thousands of gallons of water every minute. The were sinking fast and there was nothing that could be done.
As the great merchant ship Obsession sank into the waves, Jakob breathed his last breath. His eyes closed under their own weight, and his body slipped into the dark waters, lost forever in a sea of blood.
User Reviews
Submitted by kt at 2004-08-02 02:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol munkeypants! crack up
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-08-02 02:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was a good effort. I could not write fiction even with the threat of
having jumper cables clipped to my nips.
I have no fucking idea what I just said.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Friendly? HEH!
Submitted by fag <ifuckchickens.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-02 00:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a piece of shite.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-08-02 00:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+1 for the story; could use some work (good description, though)
-1 for calling us "friendly"